Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Ya Gotta Have Friends

Can't believe I've sunk to B. Manilow but there it is.

Hi world, hope your Monday weather was as glorious as it was in Ottawa. Wow it was great here.

Wasn't going to post tonight. Have an idiotic 120 page report to read and I said I'd do it tonight. No way that's going to happen, my head's splitting (never get headaches), Advil makes me freak (freaque?) out and physio took until 9:00 for some reason. It really bothers me not to be able to do something I said I'd do. (Almost) Never happens, it's a honor thing.

Today was great at work. It's like M not being there was a good luck charm, lol. A lot of folks seems to have flu/colds though (cue ominous music). Hmmm. The physio folks now think I tore a shoulder ligament. Mahvellous. All because I hired idiots to clear the driveway this winter who never shovelled until/unless I personally called and asked them to do so (which led to ice buildup, which led to me falling, yadda yadda yadda). At $325 a season, why should I have to do that? And Mom signed up with these morons too. It was my neighbor's idea. Oh well, live and learn.

Sorry, this is boring.

Today really was smooth and nice. Mom's happy, things just got done (except reading this friggin' report, but try reading something that heavy and conducting interviews, etc. it is hard to do in an office environment). It was put together by my world famous friend, and unfortunately I think that he was told what to write because am finding quite a bit that needs ummm clarifying. We'll fix it, no probs. He is da best.

The reason why I am posting instead of reading the flipping report (like a grown up would be doing) is that something surprising (to me) happened on the weekend. While GI and I were going through his photo album, we came across a pic of him that was taken about a month after we broke up. It looked just like I remembered him and I don't have any pictures of him (well, one school pic and it really doesn't look all that much like he did then). He asked if I would like a copy of the album pic, and I couldn't do it.

Can you believe it, world, after 34 flipping years, two marriages (his and mine--and I truly love his wife, they are perfect and I am very happy on my own), it still hurt to think about then. I am so ticked at myself. Isn't that the most adolescent thing you've ever heard of? Macho, tough, I-am-so-over-it-and-happy-and-in-control-54-years-old-me? Frick. I know, I know, you can't control feelings, they are what they are, blah blah blah but MAN!! Could not be more amazed if I had found gills growing out of my butt. And don't think I'm not going to check for that either.

In fact, I'm even mad that I'm mad. And I don't GET mad. Frustrated/Annoyed, yes but not angry. Maybe that's a better expression.

Does anyone out there get this? Sorry for being boring, am just surprised and flummoxed.

Bridg (utterly frustrated with herself)

17 Comments:

  • At 6/05/2006 10:14:00 PM, Blogger DrinkJack said…

    Here is my take. By accepting the photo, you would be living in the past. By saying no, you were telling him, and more importantly yourself, that you are good with how life has worked itself out. It is a strong move, not one of weakness.

     
  • At 6/05/2006 10:18:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

    Thank you Jack!!!! You absolutely da best!!!!!

     
  • At 6/06/2006 07:28:00 AM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    p.s. Jack, your take makes more sense and sounds much more like me.

     
  • At 6/06/2006 08:43:00 AM, Blogger txdad58 said…

    Gotta agree with Jack - that was dead on. HOwever, if I may be so bold, inquiring minds want to know the results of the "Gills on your butt" search! Bravo for you on moving forward, I know from experience that is not always easy!

     
  • At 6/06/2006 11:52:00 AM, Blogger Jeannie said…

    Memories include the old feelings whether we feel the same now or not - the picture dragged up the old feelings and it's better not to remember some things. You were wise to turn down the photo. It would be different if it had been a picture of him when you two were happy together.

     
  • At 6/06/2006 11:55:00 AM, Blogger Jeannie said…

    p.s.
    I think Bette Midler did that song too - at least that's the version I remember from the 70's - art class - bunch of oddballs including me in the class but they were also the most interesting kids - I think it's one of the only good memories I have of that high school

     
  • At 6/06/2006 05:22:00 PM, Blogger Vest said…

    The more you consider yea or nay is giving him an opportunity to twist the blade further, a deliberate ploy to make you squirm.
    Suggest Nay.

     
  • At 6/06/2006 06:22:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Txdad58, no gills (yet!) and thanks. You're right, not easy in all cases. Makes me realize what I put others through and man am I sorry.

    Jeannie you're right, Bette did a great job with this one. Man what a voice that lady has. And also agree, some things are best not remembered. When not working like stink today have been feeling ummm like something that amoebas/bacteria would reject today. But am past that now. Know what did it? Lady Di. All the looks, family, etc. and look how it went. Poor darling.

    Can't say that I loved high school either. Dated a lot blah blah blah but really hated high school.

    Vest, am pretty (99.9%)sure that he wouldn't do that but thanks for being my pal. Glad I chose your way.

     
  • At 6/06/2006 06:27:00 PM, Blogger saby said…

    i am in love wid the girl of my best friend (Vestie)


    no wonder the older geezer hates me

     
  • At 6/06/2006 06:32:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Saby knows Vestie's wife? This is odd.

     
  • At 6/06/2006 06:33:00 PM, Blogger saby said…

    Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nohting going on here that a pina colada or well-made mohito can't fix.

    dats the way i like it
    u gotta have friends
    but i prefer lovers

    i wasnt referring to vestie
    the guy is crazy for me

    every waking sleeping moment
    he makes passes for me
    and not only on my blog

     
  • At 6/06/2006 06:47:00 PM, Blogger saby said…

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    i just read your post and ....

    Could not be more amazed if I had found gills growing out of my butt

    i cudnt nelp laffing
    sorry bridg

    i was picturing something like dis happening to the older geezer

     
  • At 6/06/2006 09:46:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Now Saby I am nice to people here, OK?

     
  • At 6/06/2006 10:16:00 PM, Blogger Mark said…

    Chin up. There's plenty of fish in the sea, but none with buttgills! You are unique!

     
  • At 6/06/2006 10:22:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Mark, I like you!! Seriously like you!!!!

     
  • At 6/07/2006 07:51:00 PM, Blogger Johnny B. Good said…

    heyyy Bridg
    if i comply

    will u say the tings u say to Mark
    to me?

     
  • At 6/07/2006 09:08:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    JBG/Saby, of course! You know I like you (when you behave)!

    Bridg

     

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