Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Happy Friday!!!

Thanks Peter T, these are a howl!

Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time."

I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson.

The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.

A priest, a preacher and a rabbi decide that since preaching to people is too easy, they'll test the power of their faith with a bear. They each have seven days to fnd a bear, convert the bear to their religion, then meet again with the results.

The meeting happens at a local hospital, where they are recuperating.

Father Flannery speaks frst. "My bear beat me up pretty good till I sprinkled him with holy water, then he became gentle as a lamb. He receives frst communion and confirmation next week."

Reverend Billy Bob, equally battered, says, "My bear and I wrestled till I quick-dunked him in a creek and baptized his hairy soul. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

Rabbi Meyers, full of IVs, lying immobile in a body cast, squeaks, "Such agony ... the bear ... perhaps it was unwise to begin with the circumcision."


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