Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Friday, June 30, 2006


Hola everybody it's a double long weekend (Canada Day and 4th of July HOORAY!!!)

Hope all are ready to relax and/or party hearty??

I am! Off for the weekend to stay with GI and Dar at their cottage. Am a little nervous and sure to get lost on the way there but excited. Am all packed. Hope I don't wake up late....

Have to say something about work (ya ya tiresome. Am one of those pathetic people who live for their jobs). The report that the World's Worst Consultant turned out was a cow pie. A 60 page (not 40 as originally appeared) 6 point font cow pie. Had even given him an example of a perfect report that everyone loved, especially the boss. Idiot ignored it, he knows better. And it was perfect. A perfect turd.

Because of security considerations, none of us can connect to work computers from home, so had to go into work early to fix the turd. Went in an hour early. Dingbat (WWC) had a meeting with us at 10:00. Had fixed a bit of the turd by then. He was mightly offended that I had done that. Pointed out that some of what he had said was not true (nicely). Got downright huffy. M asserted himself (finally!). Gave them two hours to do ten minutes' worth of work (two slides). Meanwhile, I fixed the rest of the turd, because none of us trusted the idiot to do a good job at 2:00 with M's boss (we were to be there also) in presenting the turd to M's boss.

Finished fixing the turd by 1:00. M and P, bless them, offered to bring me lunch as I worked. Not needed but lovely of them to ask. M has a meeting with WWC, I don't bother going since he (WWC) is really ticked with me at this point (how dare I touch his masterpiece). Then we all go to see M's boss at 2:00. Lo and behold, a NEW TURD! And it is a hybrid, with some of my stuff but the most important part is WWC's crap again. I glare at M (I worked so hard for THIS?). WWC starts waving his arms, spewing b*llsh*t bingo terminology and we are off to the races for an hour. M's poor boss, gentleman that he is, crosses his arms AND legs, leans back in his chair, furrows his brows and tries to follow the b.s. Those of you who are experienced in body language know what this means.

I.am.not.happy. Glaring at M. Every once in a while WWC gets lost in his own crap and asks me to bail him out. I do. Or I correct him. WWC's assistant is trying hard to look invisible. I glare at M--why is he letting this happen?

At the end of the meeting, M's boss says that the WWC parts are (translating) inappropriate and need to be cleaned up ('we don't say things like that'). I KNEW THAT, that's why I fixed it!! Glared at M again and did say that we have another version, it's ok (another glare at M, who's looking mysterious).

Then something REALLY GREAT happens!!

WWC gets this 'oh sh*t' look on his face. He just realized that he blew it big time and there's no recovery.

At that moment, I realized that this was why M left WWC's b.s. in there. He wanted his boss to see how bad WWC's stuff was, instead of letting me save his skin. And it worked.

Sure enough, M's boss dropped by his office while I was there later. He knows how much work I did and what they did (and how bad it was).

If anyone asks me about these guys in the future, I will send them the 60 page turd. Have already been asked twice but didn't have the turd. What a moron. Hope that hissy fit he had this a.m. was satisfying because it cost him several hundred thou. The look on his face was priceless. Will never forget it.

Sorry for the long post, guys. Had to get that off of my mind.

Happy long weekend, will catch up with you after.....

Yahoo!! Have fun all....



  • At 7/01/2006 06:55:00 AM, Blogger Chris said…

    M sounds pretty smart.

    So can you describe your work in more detail besides fixing turds? What is it that you do?

  • At 7/01/2006 07:11:00 AM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Chris, I wouldn't dare describe what I do, can't even admit what sector I work in! It involves interviewing people, analysis, and recommendations I'll go that far.

    M is smart once you get his focus off of himself. Recently he's begun doing that (have worked with him for three years but we're so close it feels lifelong if you know what I mean?). He's very crafty. I'm just a super-teckie type.

  • At 7/01/2006 10:37:00 AM, Blogger DrinkJack said…

    Nothing like watching some one with a short piece rope. Glad to see that M decided to not allow you to "fix" the situation. People like WWC thrive because others bail them out.

    As for you vacation.... YAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!! Enjoy :)

  • At 7/01/2006 03:54:00 PM, Blogger .: raven :. said…

    i know! you're a secret agent for the CIA (canada style) and you interview spies and do debriefing. am i close?

    does canada celebrate our 4th of July too? how does that work?

    why don't we get to celebrate Canada day? i think we are being ripped off ...

  • At 7/01/2006 07:39:00 PM, Blogger Aggie said…

    I'm celebrating Canada Day AND 4th July and I'm here in N.Z. (But as I'm on holiday anyway I'm not sure it counts?)
    Your work sounds a rather shitty place - but aren't they all at times?
    I'm just listening to Classic U.K. Music programme and they just played "Hold you're Head up, hold you're head HIGH" yeah!
    Have a great w/end.

  • At 7/01/2006 08:39:00 PM, Blogger saby said…

    , , love and kisses to my american friends and lovers, ,

    go here

  • At 7/02/2006 05:09:00 PM, Blogger Jeannie said…


  • At 7/02/2006 09:38:00 PM, Blogger jipzeecab said…

    "Consultants" are out of favor at the moment..especially because of experiences like yours. Your bosses must be the last to know..
    Enjoy your holiday!

  • At 7/03/2006 08:39:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Hey all, thanks for your comments/encouragement--a great time was had....so THIS is why people take time off. Must do this more often....


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