Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Season Of The Witch

Geez world, I can't spell for beans.

Today was another gallop through the manure pile. Did manage to pull it off. But the manure's at ear level. Lovely in the springtime...

That was nothing compared to the good ole fam, tho.

Left a message for Bro last night with Son # 2 that Mom's staircase work, which he insisted on doing, was a screaming emergency at this point. Not because Mom got bombed at dinner (allegedly due to Sons # 1 and #2 pouring the wine) but because IF Bro had arranged to get the work done in MARCH as he was supposed to have done, Mom could have used her stairlift to get upstairs, no problem. He didn't. So, problem.

Mom advised me today that Bro is p*ssed with me because I dared leave that message with son #2. Hey it was my fault he wasn't home???

My reading: Bro feels guilty.

Good. He should.

I called tonight to clarify with Bro what the message was. Nicely and cheerfully. Got lots of attitude and monosyllabic answers.

Ask me how much I care.

The survival ratefor broken hips in seniors is five to six years. Broken necks? You guys know the answer to that. Zero. So he can scratch his mad place for all I care.

Decided with Mom that the thing to do is install the curved stairlift now (instead of removing half of her staircase, straightening the stairs, then installing a straight stairlift). No more delays. Called Sis to see if she wants to be there when we (Mom and I) talk to the installer for the second time.

Well.

Mom apparently had told Sis that Bro HAD already obtained the construction estimates, etc. as requested (not true, BTW). Sis accused me of going of half cocked 'just because Mom got drunk', etc. etc. Then she gets into the act, calling Mom, then Bro, tonight.

I.am.sick.of.all.of.them.

Talked to Mom. Advised her of what she'd done in misinforming Sis, and how concerned I am about her slipping mentally by saying all this stuff. And that I am 10 minutes away from never speaking to any of the three of them ever again (like my other Bro, the one who's married to S. I am dead serious, and she knows it). Bro has power of attorney, and he probably needs to exercise it now, as I am beginning to be convinced that she is not able to make decisions in her own interests any more.

Also, Sis and Bro either have no idea or don't care how serious Mom's problems are.

So.

I just called and arranged for Mom's health care worker to substitute His Highness (Bro) as the main contact for Mom instead of me. Am sure that this is a major part of Bro's repeated failures to act on his own Mom's behalf. Heather (the health care worker) will call me later on to discuss (spoke with her husband to leave the message). Bro has always jokingly resented my being the main contact. OK let's see how this works. I'm sure they'll call me anyway (as back-up). Bro's one of those people who revels in being unreachable/very busy/volunteer of the year, that kinda guy.

Sis has her own issues (melanoma) and very bad judgement to deal with. But I can't carry the weight for everyone and deal with Mom's acting AGAINST her own interests. What the hell am I supposed to do now? All of them are attacking me and dammit Mom's doing the same thing in her own gentle loving way.

I.give.up.

Mom said that SHE would take care of the stair thing. I doubt it very much but am sick to death of all of them, and WWIII at work. This has been going on for weeks and I can't handle all of them at once.

Any ideas, world? Mom says that she loves me, I'm her best friend, yadda yadda yadda. And she wants me to calm down. Frankly I think she wants out and this is a great way to do it. I know her better than I know myself. The other two are so 'busy' in their own little worlds it's easier for them to dump stuff onto me, and then swarm up like angry bees when something like this happens (against me, naturally)....I'm so fed up and tired.

The hell with all of them.

Talk me out of feeling like this.

Please? I am so fed up with them I want a divorce, at least from the bossy, dog-in-the-manger, know-nothing, never at a loss for an opinion (but chronically short of facts) siblings. I love my Mom and do my best to help her. Always, not just when it's convenient. Sh*theads.

Boy that feels better. Thanks for reading. I promise to be nicer tomorrow. On a different topic.

Love Bridg


UPDATE

Last night I sent a copy of this post to both siblings, ending with the 'talk me out of feeling like this' part. Got a 'divorce' from Bro this a.m. in very crude terms that ended with "you are dead to me". Typical dimestore drama. Know something? It's a relief. Sad for Mom, but a relief. At least the dog-in-the-manger competition's gone. Sent a copy of his diatribe to Sis and am expecting the same nonsense from her.

Ahhh spring.

7 Comments:

  • At 5/15/2006 09:55:00 PM, Blogger DrinkJack said…

    Family care is worse than politics because you have history with the contestants.

    I think that all cards should be shown. No truths hidden. If they want to be more involved, then they have to step up to the plate and take a pitch or two.

    If they are so busy and involved, then maybe they need to re-evaluate their priorities instead of using them as excuses.

    That or set up mom's bedroom in the dining room and ignore the stairs.

    Of course I don't know shit and it is easy for me to spew out advice that should never be taken :)

     
  • At 5/15/2006 11:09:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Thank you DMJ for those strong shoulders. Your advice is worth its weight in gold. Love the all cards on the table approach. Damn right about reevaluating priorities/not excuses.

    Also like the bedroom in the diningroom idea too.

    Those are great ideas!!! You are plenty wise, mon chum

    Sending great big hugs...Bridg

     
  • At 5/15/2006 11:15:00 PM, Blogger snavy said…

    Man - this sounds too familiar!! I feel for you!! Moving the bedroom is the best thing to do for the sake of everyone. Hugs!

     
  • At 5/15/2006 11:24:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Thanks Snavvlyn,I hear you!

    Wonder who'd get stuck with THAT job, lol???

    So you've been here before? Heavens to Murgatroyd, how did you survive it??

    Hugs all around!!!

     
  • At 5/16/2006 10:46:00 AM, Blogger scrunch said…

    I haven't heard anyone say "Heavens to Murgatroyde" in more years than I care to remember...please don't do that again!

    Add me to list of advocates for the bedroom/dining room area..at the risk of sounding like the ad for a furnace, it's safe, efficient and cheap...the decorating possibilites alone could bring out the hidden Ms. Stewart in a lot of people...

    I'd comment more, but, well, you know, I'm really busy, you know, volunteering and being a jerk and all....

     
  • At 5/16/2006 06:02:00 PM, Blogger tshsmom said…

    Gee, I don't remember your sibs taking Mom grocery shopping EVERY WEEK..or getting her hair done..or seeing her prescriptions are filled..or taking her out to dinner every week...or taking her cat to the vet and buying catfood.. or ever REALIZING that she needed a bathlift or stairlift.
    I'd say let bro and sis do the running for awhile, BUT we know they won't and then what would happen to Mom?
    Being an only child doesn't sound so bad to me right now.

     
  • At 5/16/2006 09:11:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Well folks I do love you all! Thanks for these comments!

    As expected, got comments from The Other One (formerly known as Sis) that were so full of vitriol that for a half second I considered posting it here. Then remembered that this is my corner of cyberspace and that I don't want or need crap floating in it. Nor do you fine folk deserve to read that kind of junk.

    Did show the crap and my post to Jer and GI for their feedback. I asked for honest reactions..wanted to know if I provoked it (was I mean, etc.). Verdict, boiling down horrified gut reactions, was 'no'. Made appointment with psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon anyway to be extra sure. Am bring post and copies of crap with me.

    Decided to make myself an only child for foreseeable future. Am fed up with the nonsense (getting mentally beaten up). Will drop by for holidays etc. with Mom the day before/after (if possible) but that's it. This is survival time.

    Talked to GI on the way home tonight (had dinner with longtime pal Doris tonight). Remembered while I was talking to him that he, M and I all have had experiences being strong nice people who, just by being who we are, somehow provoke nasty reactions in weaker insecure folk. Forgot that lesson. Won't forget it again. Kind of like forgetting to tie your shoelaces, stumbling, and then remembering--gotta keep those suckers tied.

    Sorry for the long comment....Bridg

     

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