Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Words

Vic, this is shameless. Why I"m putting it up here, GOK:

Two Hutterites walk into a pet shop in Lethbridge Canada and head directly to the bird section. Jacob, the Preacher, says to John, the Farm Boss, "Dat's dem."

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says John. The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Jacob and John pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into the colony van and drive over to the train trellis bridge.

From the top of the bridge, John looks down at the 1000-foot drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the bridge. Jacob watches as John falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Jacob shakes his head and says: "Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous fer me."

BUT WAIT!!!! There's MORE!

PART TWO:

Moments later Isaac, the Hog Boss, arrives up on the bridge. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the bridge carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other. "Hey, Jacob, vatch dis," Isaac says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself off the bridge. Jacob watches as halfway down, Isaac takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Isaac continues to plummet until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Jacob shakes his head and says, "Ya, und I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either."

BUT WAIT!!!!.....

PART THREE:

Jacob is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Abe, the Chicken Boss, appears. He's carrying an old potato sack out of which he pulls a chicken -- one of those old layer hens. Abe then grasps the chicken by the legs holds it over his head and hurls himself off the bridge and disappears down and down until he hits hard and breaks his spine.

Jacob shakes his head in sadness. "First der vas John wid his budgie jumping, den Isaac parrotshooting...... and now we've lost Abe from hengliding

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