Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Damn German Engineering


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Somewhere A Guy's Involved Here


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Tis The Season


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That'll Teach 'Em!!


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Why Didn't Bridge Think Of This One?


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What's New Year's Without Something To Laugh At?

All of the next bunch of photos are from http://funzines.com/weirdpics.htm

Friday, December 30, 2005

Slow Drivers Where They Belong


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OK Now That Christmas Is Over.....


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Pauly And Bridg At Work


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That Was The Week (Year) That Was

OK I KNOW I'm the only person in the universe who remembers that TV show. Sigh.

Was over at kimmyk's reading about last year. It got me thinking about how flippin' glad I am that 2005 is over.

In some ways it was really good. Got S into a more homey work atmosphere, got Pauly back and for a while had a real dream team: Marc, S, Pauly and me and M. OH that was a great time. If it hadn't been for Mr. B (why do I even give him capital letters?) would have been heaven. Did some very good work there, although lightening would have to hit Mr. B. for him to even recognize, much less understand, that.

Also met Issy, a real gem and Kelly (ditto). Kelly got married (silly woman).

Took a month's leave to cope with M's being pushed out of his job by the evil dwarf Mr. B. Then had to go back to that place, and got told off by that idiot (i.e. told to leave). Thank God for Pauly who sent my cv to the perfect guy...my weird background fit his needs perfectly and the timing could not have been better from both of our perspectives. So found a great new home with pretty damn fantastic folks AND more flexible work. Had a hell of a good goodbye party, with no dwarfs around at all. Wound up with a titular promotion, which I promptly got transferred to M, who is also fitting in like a glove in the new place. Met all kinds of wonder folks here and love the area of responsibility. Met the smartest guy I've ever known and really really like him (NBG).

Mom's health is improving (no repeat of last year's heart attack or pneumonia). Mine too in that have not had to use nitro until very recently and that was an emotional thing. Recovered from the tracheitis last winter. Sis and her partner are very happy and I"m glad--Rosie is fantastic. She had medical issues too this year. All behind her now. Nephews are doing well and growing into great men on their own.

Started blogging to blow off steam generated by Mom's health crisis and wound up meeting YOU guys, who I just adore. Thank you one and all for sticking with me.

No change (HA like that was going to happen!) in the dating scene, which is good. Very good. Well actually I was dating this time last year but gave it up, since all I did on dates was talk about M. And THAT situation resolved itself nicely. We can and do work together without getting derailed into dangerous areas.

Had a zillion major bucks fly out the door unexpectedly (the roof, the new car/old one died, the furnace) but so far so good.

It's been a tough or challenging year for some of the folks I hold near and dear. S's brother passed away and he had a change of marriage plans. S I'm so very sorry and hope that you are better. Mel had a change of marriage plan too. Honey I am sorry that happened to you but glad that if it had to, that it happened while you were still young enough to recover (imagine if you'd been in your 60s?). Undies too is having a tough romantic time but definitely doing the right thing, and so is WC. I'm so pround of all of you all. You are such fantastic women that I know you'll be single for a short time only.

As to the men involved: ppplllbbbbttt!!! Except in S's case, which involved a 'woman'. To quote one very attractive consultant about S's situation: "what kind of moron would let a catch like THAT (S) get away?" A moron, that's who.

(((((((hugs and love to each and every one of you)))))))))))))))))

and best of all good things for you in 2006.

Love ya,
lots,
really!

Bridg

Thursday, December 29, 2005

I Love Turtles

Well, I do but not that I'm eating them or anything. Happy Thursday, world!! Well, didn't get the sun here today but got @#$^% near everything else! Ice, rain, then more ice/freezing rain and snow. Gloomy as all get out. Wish we'd get sun, no matter how cold it would be.

Interesting driving. Wasn't out for long, but didn't really need a coat (well except to keep the precipitation off. I mean it wasn't cold).

Did almost zip today except a few odds and ends of grocery shopping. I love Sobey's. The birdies that took up residence in there (I think they're sparrows) two years ago are still in the store. I love to hear them chirp and see them dive into the fruit section. It must annoy the management but it's really sweet (most of the fruit's in hard plastic packages anyway) to hear them chirping.

Mom's doing fine, her meds will be delivered tomorrow. Or.else.
Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe has been sleeping all day. Still is, now that she got me up.

Had nightmare that I was working for Mr. B and another nasty woman boss night before last. So last night put off going to bed until 3. Then woke up at 4, 5, and 6. Finally got up at 10. Have not napped today so I KNOW I'm sleeping tonight. In last night's dream some canaries that I was looking after for someone (parents) escaped and was trying to find a way to attract them back to the cage, which was broken in some way. Little Bro was there too.

Weird, huh?

Jer thank you for the Willburys CD! What a lovely surprise and sooooo relieved that you picked up your prezzie too (before someone else did). Hope you like it.

OK world, off to cook dinner. I love being on vacation at home.....Bridg

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I Demand A Recount!




You Are 30% Weird



Not enough to scare other people...

But sometimes you scare yourself.

Borrowed from Tshsmom

7 Things you plan to do before you die:
1. Lose frickin' weight!
2. Vacuum the stupid carpets
3. Fix the drawdrapes in the living room
4. Write a book (prob about how to do a certain part of my job)
5. Get someone in to clean this mess, I officially give up
6. Get a dog. A big, hairy, messy hopefully collie dog
7. See Little Bro happy

7 Things you can't do:
1. Sing
2. Play an instrument/Read music
3. Ride roller coasters/any height-involved amusement park rides
4. Not joke (esp with my buddies around, very high school, I know)
5. Turn a blind eye
6. Care about/Balance my checkbook
7. Worry about appearances

7 Things you say most:
1. Shit (cats used to run whenever they heard that word because it was what came out first
whenever they'd done something bad)
2. Cool
3. Yah right
4. Hey (as greeting)
5. SMOKEY!! (usually first thing in the morning)
6. Damn/Fargin' Ice Hole
7. F*ck (when really not happy)

7 Books (or series) I love:
1. Harry Potter
2. Sherlock Holmes
3. The Far Pavilions
4. Lost Horizon (yep the one they made us read in high school)
5. Agatha Christie (Miss Marple, Hercule Poirot)
6. Ludlum (except the co-authored stuff)
7. Clancy

7 Movies I watch over and over:
1. Harry Potter series
2. National Lampoon Vacation series
3. Heaven Can Wait
4. Practical Magic
5. Little Nicky (I have the mind of a 12 year old)
6. Love Actually
7. Lethal Weapon (see above reference to 12 year old brain)

The Way You Look Tonight

Isn't this a pretty song, world? In the black and white, romantic, Cary Grant style? Sigh. I was born a little late, I think.

Thanks so much for all of you who commented on the Little Bro post. Hope he's OK.

Today wasn't a work day for me, and extreme sympathies to those brave souls who went into work mid-week (today).

However it was not exactly a day off.

Mom's meds ran out on Christmas Day. Being 77 and in total denial about having health issues (heart mostly), she didn't bother refilling them, neither did the nincompoop pharmacist. I left a phone refill order. The pharmacist told me that the refills had run out (so why didn't they call???) and so I called Mom's doctor and left them the same message. Needless to say, they're not thrilled with the pharmacist either. And they're not allowed/don't refill prescriptions unless they SEE the patient. So took Mom in today to see the doctor (they called me this a.m.). In addition to the refills, this (very smart) doctor also prescribed an anti-anxiety med (atavan I think or something like that. I've taken it too). As I explained it to Mom, if she wasn't on them, the rest of us would HAVE to be!!!

Dropped of dry cleaning (was on the way out of the doctor's office location).

Then we go to lunch at Cora's. Yummy. Mom cleaned her plate, which never happens, and ate quickly, which NEVER EVER happens. At least she got one good meal into her today! Since the grocery store is very close to Cora's, we did grocery shopping next.

Knees and back started giving out. How can Mom poke along like that (standing there looking for gloves, which she doesn't need inside the store) while I"m in agony? Oh well. Got the shopping done. Took forever tho.

Then off to get the super duper cat food which is very good for cats and which only one store that I know of stocks that's in the West end of O town. It's across the street from my office. Mom stayed in the car this time, so I had a much quicker time of it. Got 4 flats of cat food (man, some of this stuff has duck in it, some has venison. The little furry dears get better food than WE do!). The food's for my cat (The Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe) and Mom's. My furry dear woke me up at 11:00 because she was bored. Hmmmmmmmmm. That's another story.

Had other stuff to do but by this time, well, let's put it this way, I"m on diuretics and had had 2 cups of coffee. Unloaded groceries at Mom's house and raced home.

Where I noticed: TA DA! Jery had picked up his present!!! Or someone finally stole it (sincerely hope it's the former)!!!!!

Still haven't unpacked all the groceries yet--just the cold stuff.

This probably doesn't sound like much of a day, but my knees feel like knives. Ouch. Didn't stop moving from noon until now (5:25).

Off to wrap up in a heating pad.

Love you guys!!! MWAH!

Bridg

Happy Birthday, Little Bro (Rick)

I have two brothers, world. Both younger--I'm the oldest of the crew. Rick and I grew up as a 'soul' pair. Same personalities, etc. Rick was/is brilliant. Could easily have been into math/space work--these were predictions from his teachers in grade school. He did math two years ahead of where he was chronologically in school.

When we moved to Canada, my father flipped. Decided that he was in a 'man's country' and could do whatever he wanted to do. Claimed that poor Rick wasn't his kid (he is) and picked on him unmercifully. Mom used to find rosary beads in his bed. I was more or less the protector and interjected myself physically when things got out of hand involving anyone and Dad.

Somewhat predictably, both bros got into drugs. Rick a lot more seriously than Big Bro. But eventually they both grew out of it, thank God. Were arrested for breaking into cars, heaven knows why. At one point, both of them were thrown out of the house (Dad loved that drama) for minor things (and let back in usually). This was in pre-Paul Bernardo days, thank heavens. One year Rick was thrown out on his birthday, December 27. Two days after Christmas. What a guy, huh?

Rick is a tall, blue eyed, strapping guy who the ladies just love. Actually not just the ladies. Everyone but his Dad and later his wife, loves Rick. And no wonder. One girl that Rick was dating wanted boots for Christmas. Rick went without food to get them for her (just learned this months ago). Being a caring, loving, up and cute guy, he always had friends around who loved him. The girls he dated were really something too. Smart, pretty.

So who did he marry? A very troubled not so nice girl from Montreal whose twin brother had been murdered in Africa, in a country that didn't even have a Canadian embassy. The rest of her family (mom, dad now dead) and S used to plan how they'd kill themselves and this talk went on for months. Their big thing in life was that they'd saved $800K. Money was a huge deal to these guys. Bitter and angry as all three of these folks were, I think Rick married S to get her out of that toxic household.

But it was too late. The poison's in her veins, and whenever she gets together with her mother, it's so bad (the evil, the anger, the venom) that no human should be exposed to it. The kids who Rick worships (they have 2) now make fun of him and don't want him around. S wanted more money (of course), got Rick into gambling, and he developed a habit. She didn't like that--DUH who would. We his family had an intervention, got him some help, and it seems to be working. They've been together at least 16 years. Far too long.

What in effect happened is that Rick went from an abusive father to an abusive wife. The wife is far more full of vitriol than our late father.

But Rick likes the high lifestyle that he has with S and the kids who mock him. This part I don't get, it isn't like Rick. Think he doesn't want to lose what little connection he has with the kids, and I am positive that S would hurt his son if she could (yes I"ve called Children's Aid on her). So he's sticking it out for now. At one point S tried to stab him (Rick). The police have been there to their house more often than I can remember. MIL is there a lot, drinking, which brings out her charming side (being pretty sarcastic here). The police made them promise to get counselling, which S refused to go to. At one police visit, she was acting so nutty that they locked HER up in jail overnight. She used to call my 77 year old mother at 5 a.m. to tell her that Rick had just gotten home (gambling) before the gambling was under control. For a while, I blocked their phone number so that they couldn't do it again. Then left a message saying that if they ever did that again, I'd charge them with harassment (for starters). That ended the abusive phone calls. This.woman.is.nuts.

We aren't allowed to see him or the kids. I worry constantly for his safety and know that my other siblings, and my nephews, miss and think about him too. Especially at holidays. S makes sure that they're out of the country for birthdays, etc., which she hates celebrating (Christmas, Halloween--they're all about spending money according to this gem). It really tears at my mom's heart. Mine too. No one deserves this, but it's what abusers do--isolate their victims. Rick also worries about his safety. Tells us when they're going to Montreal, and assures us that he isn't suicidal. Can you imagine what this is doing to my mother?

Rick, wherever you are, please know that your family loves you and always will. No matter how infrequent the contact, we are your family and we love you. Hell has a special place in it reserved for that woman and her mother. Heaven has a special one reserved for you. Don't worry, Little Bro. We're here for you no matter what.

No one deserves this treatment, Little Bro. Get the hell out of there as fast as you can. Give US a present on your birthday.

We miss you so much.

Happy Birthday, Rick. Love and kisses, Big Sis

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Valley of the Blondes

Thank you Jack for this holiday selection of blondness.....

GEOGRAPHY
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and
one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther
away..........Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died.After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you
expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde
on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How canI get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and
said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor.
"Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushedher knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said."Your finger is broken."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!""NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!"said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY... A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?""HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

Just for you, Sis....and Carol....and Peggy....

Jery Is Driving Bridg Crazy

Jer, I know you read my blog once in a while. Is there any amount of money that I can pay you to come and pick up your present before the neighborhood kids do? It's been days...and even the neighbors are commenting on how lucky I am that it hasn't been stolen yet.

Between the two doors.

Please? Before Easter??

I'm not opening mine till I know that you have yours.

Hugs, and I am NOT kidding, Bridg.

Best Joke In The World

This one is a classic. Recently recommended it to WC to cheer her up but thought I'd share it with the rest of you. Kills me every time I read it....

Copied from http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=8&Cat=12&ID=334

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "asshole," and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're an asshole!" It would always cheer me up. Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID. This was a real setback for me; I would have to stop calling the asshole. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number and when I heard his voice, "Hello?" I made up a name. "Hi. I'm with the Telephone Company and I'm just calling to see if you'd be interested in our caller ID program?" "No!" he shouted and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

Keep reading this, it gets better!........

An old lady at the shopping center really took her time pulling out of a parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. "Great", I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space.

I hit the horn and started yelling, "You can't do that. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward the shopping center as if I didn't even exist. I thought to myself, this guy's another asshole; there sure are a lot of assholes in this world. Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the phone number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're an asshole!" (It's really easy since I have his number on speed dial now.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black BMW there on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front." I said, "What's your name?" "My name is Don Hansen." "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home in the evenings." "Listen Don, can I tell you something?" "Sure..." "Don, you're an asshole!"

And I slammed the phone down. Then, I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer.

I must say, for a while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two assholes to call. Then, after several months of calling the assholes and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.

I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with this solution: First, I had my phone speed dial asshole #1. A man answered nicely, "Hello?" I yelled "You're an asshole!", but I didn't hang up. The asshole said, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah." He said, "Stop calling me." I said, "Make me."

He said, "What's your name, pal?" So I told him, "Don Hansen." He said, "Where do you live?" "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black BMW's parked out front." "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers." "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole!", and I hung up.

Then I called asshole #2. Don Hansen answered, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole." He said, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" "I'll kick your ass." "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, asshole." And I hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was on my way to 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as I got there. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on West 34th Street...

After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

Glorious satisfaction! Watching two assholes kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

Have a great day !!

Sea of Love/I'm a Fool

Hi world, hope it vas well?

It's still cloudy but getting cool here. Not cold enough for a coat mind you (for me anyway). Wanted to drop off dry cleaning but they weren't open. Oh well, the coat's been filthy for a year, it can wait. Did drop off some stuff for lamination and tried to remain casual when they told me how much it would cost ($72 each). Then went one better financially and replaced my horrid toaster oven with something that actually works. Unfortunately, also got an electric chopper (I make a lot of soup and hate chopping onions), a Dirt Devil (little one for the stairs) and hangers for my work closet (up until now folks just throw their coats on the floor, I am serious). Managed to cut the tip of a finger somehow in the process of getting all this stuff away. Those suckers bleed let me tell you.

So although originally wanted Christmas decorations on sale, managed to put a lot more on plastic without getting the decorations. Must be allergic to money, can't wait to get rid of it. The devil made me do it.

BUT did get the Rogers' cell phone killed, and cut back on the cable which I don't watch anyway. Does anyone watch that stuff on channels 300+? I tried it and by and large, it sucks. Wasn't worth the money (turns out I had their most expensive package). Part of why I got rid of the cell (well OK I got a Telus one) was that the phone was clunky, you had to go through a long turn-on process (Rogers' ad), and the price I was paying was outrageous ($205 a month???). Turns out as a 2 year customer I was supposed to get a phone upgrade but no one mentioned it. Too late! The Telus is smaller, much better and faster. And cheaper. Whoever is in charge of marketing at Rogers needs a severe spanking. Found out that there are "I hate Rogers" sites on the Net too. Hmmm.

Tomorrow/Tonight will think about house cleaning. Once a year whether it needs it or not ;)

Am absolutely famished. Off to cook something in new toaster oven (wish me luck). Hope that today was lovely for all of you.....and that it's sunny somewhere tomorrow....Bridg

Stolen from Robin, Who Stole It From Foxglove

Put an "X" by all the things you've done and share it with your friends.
1. (x) Smoked a cigarette.
2. () Crashed a friend's car.
3. ( ) Stolen a car.
4. (x) Been in love.
5. ( X) Been dumped. Grade 13, Greg Iverson.
6. ( ) Shoplifted.
7. ( ) Been fired/laid off.
8. ( ) Been in a fist fight.
9. ( ) Snuck out of your parent's house.
10.(x) Had feelings for someone that didn't have them back. Ever read my blog? Sigh. M. Actually I think it's mutual or am I kidding myself? Doesn't matter, hearts do what they want to.
11. ( ) Been arrested.
12. (x) Gone on a blind date. And lived to regret it, each time!
13. (x) Lied to a friend.
14. (x) Skipped school. Constantly in HS. What idiot gives a HS senior a study hall after lunch, followed by one class?
15. ( ) Seen someone die.
16. (x) Been to Canada.
17. (x) Been to Mexico.
18. (x) Been on a plane.
19. ( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire.
20. ( ) Eaten sushi.
21. (X ) Been skiing. Hated it.
22. (x) Met someone in person from the internet. In a dating sense. They turned out to have some real issues
23. (x) Taken pain-killers.
24. (x) Love someone or miss someone right now.
25. (x) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
26. (x) Made a snow angel.
27. (x) Had a tea party.
28. (x) Flown a kite.
29. (x) Built a sand castle.
30. (x) Gone puddle jumping. Loved that
31. (x) Played dress up. Obviously a very long time ago, as I live only in sweats
32. ( ) Cheated while playing a game. Always hated games
33. (x) Been lonely.
34. ( ) Fallen asleep at work/school.
35. ( ) Used a fake I.D.
36. (x) Watched a sunset.
37. ( ) Felt an earthquake.
38. (x) Touched a snake. Had a pet garter snake when we lived in Denver. Then some idiot next door chopped it up. It was so tame it would slither up to me/us whenever we came outside.
39. ( ) Slept beneath the stars.
40. (x) Been tickled.
41. ( ) Been robbed.
42. (x) Been misunderstood.
43. (x) Petted a reindeer/goat.
44. (x) Won a contest.
45. (x) Ran a red light. More times than I want to admit
46. ( ) Been suspended from school.
47. (x) Been in a car accident.
48. ( ) Had braces.
49. ( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.
50. (x) Had deja vu. All.The.Damn.Time.
51. ( ) Danced in the moonlight.
52. (x) Liked the way you looked.
53. ( ) Witnessed a crime.
54. (x) Questioned your heart.
55. ( ) Been obsessed with post it notes.
56. (x) Squished barefoot through the mud.
57. (x) Been lost. In Detroit. On 14-mile road. And lived.
58. (x) Been to the opposite side of the country. Vancouver/Victoria rock!
59. (x) Swam in the ocean. Love the ocean
60. (x) Felt like dying. And that was the last time I took Mr. B seriously.
61. (x) Cried yourself to sleep.When Murray died.
62. ( ) Played cops and robbers.
63. ( ) Recently colored with crayons.
64. ( ) Sung karaoke. No and you can all thank me later
65. ( ) Paid for a meal with only coins.
66. (x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't. Don't ask.
67. ( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out your nose.
68. (x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
69. (x) Danced in the rain.
70. (x ) Written a letter to Santa Claus.
71. (x) Been kissed under the mistletoe.
72. ( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about.
73. (x) Blown bubbles. Still do.
74. ( ) Made a bonfire on the beach.
75. ( ) Crashed a party.
76. ( ) Gone roller-skating.
77. (x) Had a wish come true.
78. (x) Worn pearls. Heh heh heh
79. ( ) Jumped off a bridge.
80. ( ) Ate dog/cat food. When I was five, ate dog kibble to get my brothers to do it. Parents were furious.
81. ( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them.
82. ( ) Kissed a mirror.
83. (x) Sang in the shower.
84. ( ) Had a dream that you married someone.
85. ( ) Glued your hand to something.
86. ( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flagpole.Am silly, not stupid.
87. ( ) Kissed a fish.EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
88. (x) Sat on a rooftop. With my late cousin when we were teenagers after everyone had gone to bed. It was fantastic
89. ( ) Screamed at the top of your lungs.
90. ( ) Done a one-handed cartwheel.Cartwheels yes, one handed no
91. (x ) Talked on the phone for more than six hours on one occasion. With my highschool sweetheart/first love, two months after my marriage broke up (he got in touch with me). Yet another romantic mistake, but his timing was perfect.
92. (x) Stayed up all night. Work, of course
93. ( ) Didn't take a shower for a week.
94. (x) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.
95. ( ) Climbed a tree that had a tree house. Climbed plenty of trees, no treehouses
96. (x) Been told by a complete stranger that you're hot.
97. (x) Ever had a one night stand. Not like me but yes. Damn Club Med
98. (x) Ever missed someone so much it still hurts to think of them.
99. (x) Ever loved someone that you knew wouldn't love you back.
100. ( ) Ever been to a professional baseball, football, or hockey game in a stadium.
101. (x) Went hiking in the mountains.
102. (x) Smoked a cigar. Does puffing count?
103. (x) Had a crush on someone you worked with but never told them.
104. (x) Wished you had the chance to change your profession.Would be a doctor if I had it to do over again. Or a vet.
105. ( ) Ever cremated and kept the ashes of a pet you cared a lot about.
106. ( ) Wished you could live your life over again beginning at age 21. Heavens no, I was a real serious pain-in-the-ass artsy type then. Ick.
107. (x) Been baptized.
108. (x) Rode a horse.
109. ( ) Sent flowers to someone you never met.

Monday, December 26, 2005

They're Coming To Take Me Away (ha ha hee hee ho ho)

How are you world? Peaceful? Rainy? Hope so!

The only reason I got up and about today was to get my mother's prescriptions, which she and the pharmacy had let run out completely.

Finally dragged myself there by around noon (Dec. 26 in Canada is a madhouse at the stores) and found out that my Bro had already picked up the meds. Did anyone tell me (the one who placed the order?). No. Called Mom and advised her that next time, someone tells me beforehand. Yeesh.

Sis, bless her heart, bought both Mom and me new artificial trees with the lights built in. By 9:00. Wow.

Then about an hour ago, went through my bills/mail. Found a 'pay us or else' note from Bell. Had $2K worth of cheques to deposit but forgot. Well that'll teach me (but am highly embarrassed nonetheless being that sloppy). So paid by electronic thingie at my bank site.

Then made the mistake of trying to deal with Rogers through their site and by phone. Was on hold for about 20 minutes (this is a record short time with them, I kid you not) and couldn't do what I wanted to anyway. My last bill from them was $205, which I think is excessive for computer, wireless and cable. Their website is written in Greek/some language and format that is supremely useless and the poor folks stuck on the phone can't do much either except keep you on hold. So guess what, I get to do this all over again tomorrow.

Think I'd rather be at work.

Any wonder why I switched phones to Telus? Much nicer phone, infinitely better service.

What is going on in Rogers' corporate? It looks the same as Bell (arrogance, unresponsive) but am trying to be relatively nice here. It's just that every time I have to deal with Rogers, no matter how simple the inquiry (I am always nice to people), I wind up frustrated and unfulfilled. Oh well. Sooner or later they'll get the message.

So hope your day today was restful world. If I have any advice in this way, it's 'Don't phone Rogers'!!!

Prescriptions I am not even going to talk about!

May your days be merry and bright
and never deal with Rooooogers
at night!

Hugs,
Bridg

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Joy To The World/She Drives Me Crazy

Merry Christmas and happy whatever, world!

It is pouring out here. Rain. And fog. And a little snow. If the rain had been snow, we would have had a very hard time getting around.

Hope that everyone had a safe and happy or at least peaceful holiday.

Mom is OK so far. No repeat of last year's heart attack. Yet.

She did, however, drive us all nuts. But that's a small price to pay.

Just got home from Sis' place. Had the best dinner (and am in severe pain--why do I do these things to myself?). Everyone was at Mom's last night. We put up a tabletop tree and it is pathetic. Sis is going to get her a fully lit full size tree tomorrow. Thank.Heavens. But a great time was had by all anyway. The boys (my nephews, 21 and 22) are great to be around. They're full of...ummm...merriment and the s.d. ways that all of us had as kids. They even taught the 18-wheeler truck drivers to blow the air horn at their dad's car just like I did when I was younger (my father couldn't understand why all the trucks were blowing their horns at him. It was because we were in the back of the station wagon making the arm motions of pulling the air horns at the drivers). Bro forgot about that and like Dad, started wondering about all the air horns he was hearing.....

Everyone liked their presents (phew!) and all the clothes I bought fit. YAY.

Sis' partner Rosie pointed out that Mom had completely run out of meds as of tonight. I ordered more by phone but wondered what was going on in Mom's head and the pharmacist's to let that happen. Guess I have to check from now on.

And in addition to me, 3 others pointed out that Mom's cat is a skeleton. NOW she'll feed him more (if it's just me saying something, forget it she ain't listening. Why do I bother???). Nice to have the support.

Family. Is there anything like it? It can be a pain at times but truly worth it after all, I think.

Love ya world. Hang in there, it's almost over!!

Bridg

Friday, December 23, 2005

P.S.

After posting that last post, fell deeply asleep until 9:30. M called while I was zzzz'ing. He'd finished his hockey game, and because he had to leave the office quickly earlier wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Now THAT is a friend. A dear one. Glad we're past all that other stuff.

And speaking of dear friends--Jer, thank you so much for dropping by. I'm sorry I wasn't home then (yes was still at work but keeping M company). Scared me to death that you used an LCBO bag, but was relieved to see from your e mail that all is well. Your prezzie is waiting. And I loved the "hot Toddy" card. More of those please!!!

And speaking of cards, NBG left me a voice mail message thanking me for the card with pets of the type he has at home on it--that's why I gave him that card and he knew it. Despite his claims to be unfeeling, that voice mail message and common sense tells me that he's a very feeling guy, and a sweet one. MWAH!

NBL was at the party today. She's still so very fragile. Besides all the other horrid things she's gone through, her hubby has pneumonia. How much can one body take? Bottom line, she won't be back for a long time. Just wanted to hug her and pour love into her poor little body.

I'm so lucky!! Love you all!!

And to all a good night!!!

Bridg

Felitz Navidad

Or however you spell it! Happy almost Christmas Eve, world!

It's RAINING outside, can you believe it? Someone Up There is listening to me. OK now listen, make a cute straight single old enough guy show up at the (my) door, OK?

Heh heh heh like THAT's ever gonna happen!!

Wound up writing Christmas/holiday cards to EVERYONE at work. Some had a lot more writing than others and all were personal. Whew that took a while. The chicken wings didn't go over too well, but then again there was a ton of food. Got to meet everyone's kids and some wives (not many). It was a lovely time, lots of chat, fun and laughing. M signed his letter of offer (i.e. he has the job permanently) today. I thanked NBG for the present (M getting his job). He laughed and said that M is more 'permanent' than I am now. When I stuck out my lower lip, he said 'no don't worry we're working on that one fast'. I knew he was, the big sweetie.

On the other hand, would enjoy going back to inflict myself on TLT. He.would.crap.big.bricks. Teeee heee hee.

Just kidding, that ain't gonna happen.

Did meet the deadline. Got the task done. I am sooooooooooooooooo relieved. YAHOO!!

Was kinda walking around after the party when NBG and I spotted each other. He said "hey, I have some wine!". I called M to come over to NBG's office, Lou (of course) came in and we all called D. Had a terrific smaller party with some very stinky cheese and a terrific dry white wine. I had all kinds of ideas for how to use the cheese leftovers but got overruled. Damn, some of the best ideas I have are either overruled, illegal or....oh never mind just Bridg at it again.

M and Lou both liked their presents (whew). Everyone liked their cards, and I got some more too. All of them had lots of writing in them (love that).

Well, just got phone calls from everyone: Bro's out shopping with Mom. Sis is out shopping with her pal. I am in my pjs and it's not even 5:00. Was going to get odds and ends that I don't really need urgently and decided to stay home instead because EVERY NUT IN TOWN IS ON THE ROAD RIGHT NOW!!!

Seriously, this is not a day to be driving.

Hope you all had a wonderful day, hope you partied hearty, sleep well, and enjoy tomorrow and the rest of your days!!!

Love, Bridg

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Do They Know It's Christmas Time At All?

Hi world, want some snow? Actually it isn't even sticking at the moment. Just like complaining about it.

Will NOT mix alcohol and sleeping meds again. Had a dickens of a time waking up today and that was with only one drink. M was feeling like hell today too. But we both perked up as the day went along.

Project is rolling along like crazy. There were so many calls from sort of frantic folks (why didn't we hear about this yadda yadda yadda--we held the meetings, try showing up at them!) but got them all calmed down and things are almost tucked into bed. Picked up some new projects to do too.

Got a Christmas card from D, which reminded me that I have some cards to write myself for her, Lou, NBG and 'the kids'. Also have to wrap M's present. He gave me mine today and I opened it when I got home (wanted to make sure we spent about the same and if not was going to run out and find something else). Wow. That guy does nothing in half measures. It was a commemorative plate, 24K trim, Thomas Kinkade limited edition . Gorgeous. Even the wrapping was exquisite. He told me that he was going to put it in a bag (which is what I wanted to do with his originally) but his wife wouldn't let him so she wrapped it. Even the bow was texturized.

I can't even come close to that!! *shaking my head and laughing*

There's a pot luck tomorrow at the office. Not much 'luck' about it, someone posted a list and you were supposed to write your name and what you were bringing. Actually, stopped on the way home (along with the rest of the planet, it seemed) and got 3-4 boxes of chicken wings and potato salad. And napkins, and wetnaps, and plastic plates. Then got cold cuts. Half a pound each (did I mention I like buying stuff?) of 4-5 different kinds of meat, cheese, heaven-know-what-else. Hope everyone's hungry.

The cold cuts are for Christmas Eve at Mom's. Boy she'd better stay calm this year, I don't have it in me to virtually move into the hospital again....

S is out in Edmonton with family (good. Hope he's safe and OK). Pauly's in town, feeding 17 people again. M is entertaining too. Thank heavens I'm not! Would be going nuts getting ready all by myself. Think entertaining is definitely a couple thing.

Can almost hear the planet taking a breath. Let's hope for peace, quiet and friendship, if only for a weekend. A special one.

Love ya, world.

Bridg

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Little Love

Hey world, happy almost-end-of-before-Christmas week!

The numbness is gone from the finger. Now it just hurts to type ouch.

Hope your day/night was good? We had a surprise snowfall today. Turned traffic into parking, so M, Pauly and I went out for dinner/drinks. It was great. I miss Pauly, being able to talk to him every day. He is just the greatest person and friend. Don't miss TLT (pond scum exboss of M) but miss the rest of the gang. The place where I am now, thanks to Pauly, is so much better tho. Funny feeling--kind of caught between the two worlds.

M is doing great. The guys in the shop are now dropping into his office to chat. I was half afraid that the strength of our relationship (M and me) and the fact that I'm always there or he's always in my office would scare folks off. Nope. Thank heavens! I make an effort to drop into everyone's office at least once a day and eat with them at least a few times a week. And they drop into my place too.

The big project is drawing to a close. We get the last of the changes tomorrow, and I write up the finishing piece tomorrow too. Of course NBG's boss will change it, but the critical first leg of the relay race will have been completed. It's a really significant thing (damn I want to tell you what it is). Involves coordinating 5900 people and databases that are all at different stages of existence (some are just manual). Should have been done a long time ago, but needed the people power to pull it together plus the management will do to it. All are there now. It's a honour to be involved in this thing.

Am worried about M, he is looking damn tired and pale. This org where we work is a challenging place to adapt to (dragged my butt a lot too in the first month). The field of work is different, it is very operational and fast-paced. He spent the last three months off on leave at home (avoiding his idiot exboss), so this is a huge change of pace and intensity. Not that he can't do it, of course he can. It just bugs me to see him so tired. And we are surrounded by young, bright (really bright) 20 somethings who are so eager to help and learn. It's gratifying and energizing but it takes a bit out of us old geezers to keep up with them. Bless their hearts. Love each of them!

And of course there's NBG. He's the same age as M, and a fireball in a suit if ever there was one. That man's magnificent mind never stops, and he's so damn sweet. Honest this is the best grouping of personalities and talents I've ever seen. So happy to be here.

OK OK enough waxing eloquent about work. It's 9:41 and I just got in from the dinner. Will go visit a bit (blogs) and then off to bed. I'm zonked too.

Night world. Hope you're safe and warm tonight...Bridg

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Christmas for Cowboys

The song has nothing to do with the post! It's an old John Denver song that sounds more like a lullaby than anything else.

Hope you are fine tonight, world? Things are looking fine here..there was a very slow, sparkly snow this morning. It was like walking into a snowglobe. A really neat way to go to work, especially since the sun was shining brightly at the time.

It didn't last. Stopped snowing after a while. My office has walls but no windows, so I had no idea if the sun lasted the day. And of course, it was another day of wall to wall meetings. M and I and Marc are negotiating something pretty high profile, it's that groundbreaking project thing. It turns out that one of the big bosses, who is leaving this org, had not passed on the word about the project, but it affected a LOT of his people in a big way. Since we deliver it on Friday (or thereabouts), M and I started meeting with the big boss' managers (there are dozens. This is why the wall to wall meetings). They were horrified to find out that this had been going on without their input, and are scrambling to help us. It's very gratifying to see how helpful and willing everyone is. The deadline is freakin' scary, and NBG gave a copy of an intermediate product to THE BIG BOSS of BOSSES (the head of this org) a few days ago. I was horrified, but no damage appears to have been done.

Came home and fell asleep. Woke up halfway through NCIS, which thank heavens was a repeat. But was that exhausted physically and mentally. This is after almost three months on the new job. M is doing so well it's almost scary. He's spent years (except the one we spent working together, last year) in a non-operational fairy-tale type org that doesn't do much. NBG (our boss) was concerned about M's ability to function in a place as applied as this one. I wasn't, that's why M didn't fit in where he was.

But neither of us are kids anymore, and the pace of this place is pretty impressive (fast). So far so great. People like us, like him (whew) and he's fitting in like a glove. It's only been three weeks for him, and he has an hour's drive (roughly) each way to work plus he plays hockey twice a week. And is 54. I hope he can keep it up. He did admit to being tired (NO KIDDING) and I sure am. The pace and work is invigorating and we both love NBG.

Guess what I"m saying is the pace is quite demanding, the work is very worthwhile and key and I hope that we can keep it up. On this one project (it's a key one for all of us), we are so close to the finish line you can smell it. Can't relax or let up till that happens.

Why do so many people set Christmas as a deadline??? Oh well, that's life!

Mom doing great. Am watching her like a hawk, given last year's heart attack. EVERYONE's reminded her that she is in no way to get stressed/worried this year, none of us wants a repeat of last year. But she's a worrier, it's in her chemistry. It scares the bejabbers out of me that I've heard/had two deaths nearby me recently.

Hope that all is going smoothly where you are. Hope Raven has snow, hope that all of us are safe, happy and warm.

Nighty night, world.

Bridg

They're Coming To Take Me Away (For Christmas)

Which one fits you most?

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Homicidal --- Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer and I was Driving....

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Depressed --- Blue Christmas & I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm gonnaPout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at thefroggy, can I have a chocolate, why is Franceso far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, JingleBells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, JingleBells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, JingleBells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, JingleBells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, JingleBells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, JingleBells,>Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, >Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, >Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, >Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Monday, December 19, 2005

Doctor Doctor Gimme The News/Lawyers In Love

Doctors:

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000. (B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000. (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171. Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Now think about this:

Guns:

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million..) (B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188. Statistics courtesy of FBI >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So, statistically speaking, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners !! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do." >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT

ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

P.S.
Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.

White Christmas


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It's Just One Of Those Songs

It's just one of those songs
That you hear now and then
You don't know just where or not even when
Some part of your lifetime will always belong
To one of those wonderful songs.

Hey world how are you tonight? It's cold out there (duh it's December in OTTAWA, Bridg!) but not snowing yet. Was sunny, then cloudy today. By the time I left work at 6:30 there were two cars in the parking lot: mine and Lou's. Funny.

Today was again a whirlwind of activity. Folks running in and out with questions, concerns, etc. I'm glad that they come to see me, I like people and helping them. Did find out something sad tho.

Remember when I crashed into the car driven by the hospital's priest a year ago? It was when I started blogging. My mom was in the hospital (had a heart attack on Christmas day), then caught pneumonia on top of the heart thing, and stayed in the hospital for at least 5 weeks. On the day that she was to go home the doctor called a family meeting at the hospital, and I went rushing into the place, slipped (OK the car slid) on the ice and right into the car of an ancient priest coming the other way who froze when he saw me slide. If he'd kept moving I would have missed him...all the guy could talk about was the damage to his NEW car until I pointed out that mine was new too. He drove off to report to the OPP. I couldn't move because my car was the one badly damaged and for a few hours because I wasn't at the OPP station, I was a hit-and-runner. Had to wait three hours for the police to show up (they went to the wrong entrance of the hospital, believing that there was only one). I had a bad flu at the time and only my cell phone for company. It was a cold cold day. My insurance agents (husband and wife team) arranged for the rental car for me, had it delivered to where I was, and were on their way to me with coffee and hamburgers when the police finally arrived.

Now THAT is good service, caring and humanity. I wrote them a very grateful letter and got the nicest reply.

Anyhow, the sad news is that the guy part of the couple died. I think he was a little younger than I am (53) and in very good shape. He was playing hockey and fell down dead on the ice. The defibrillators didn't work, he was gone. His heart was enlarged and no one knew it. This happened on November 24, just found out on Saturday. So called his widow Diane (a LOVELY person) and we chatted for a long time. She is such a darling that I"m going to keep a special eye on this one.

Also the 14 year old son of someone I work with (but don't know) was run over while standing on his family's driveway on the weekend.

That's two...they come in threes. Everyone, ESPECIALLY YOU MOM!!!, be careful out there, OK??? I'm very superstitious about stuff like this.

Had a wonderful talk with M about marriage and demons, not that they're related. He was wondering about people who stay in abusive/bad marriages, and if the glue that holds them together includes fear of being alone. Mentioned that I had always been afraid of being alone, and that's why I got married (said no to some other proposals before picking the one I did). Was very alone while married, and have been very happy on my own since (especially since I quit dating. Ran into a lot of umm guys with problems. Like stalking, locking me in closets, that kind of stuff). So guess that demon's been slayed. He knew of people who stay when any reasonable person would not. He feels that there is so much compromise in marriage that basically I have a great deal. I replied that I might not feel that way when I'm 70 or 80 but do agree now.

Changing the subject completely, know what they say about shopping when you're hungry? I proved it tonight on the way home. Yes, rum balls for dinner again. My liver is going to be so pissed at me.....

And that brings up another topic. A really silly one. Remember Evil Witch? Well, she is even competitive when peeing. I.kid.you.not.

I went into the washroom this a.m. Noticed her pointy and unique shoes in one of the stalls, and selected one as far away as possible. Note that she couldn't know that it was me, I didn't walk by her stall. Sat down, began doing what you do in there. She ummm outpeed me. In speed, noise and length of time. Stopping the flow no less than 3 times (OK she was doing Kegels), starting up a loud fast torrent after each stop. Tried VERY hard not to laugh. Got outa there fast, but not before she caught up with me.

I'm really glad we only had to deal with #1.

Later in the day two of her staff came in for comfort and chat. I had to get one out of there fast because EW spotted the poor girl in my office (and so she had to leave pronto). Sure enough, EW was in the poor lamb's office not 1 minute later, giving orders.

Sigh.

M was his usual great self today. NBG is skiing in Maine and called Lou no less than 4 times. I bet his wife was ready to toss the old Blackberry far far away. I miss NBG, but at least Dena's acting. She's great.

OK getting sleepy....will visit later....love y'all!!!

Bridg

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Borrowed from Poppy Cedes

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Proving that the universe has an excellent sense of humor/sarcasm.....don't know how to post links but it's on Poppy Cedes' place...

Norman

OK if any of you remember THAT song, you're older than I am (and a fervent welcome!!).

Just dropped by to say hi. Did not do one damn thing today. It's 10 to 4 and am not dressed. Just out of the (cleaned) shower. Well, OK put away half the laundry. Still bugged about Narnia last night but much less so. House still needs straightening up, etc. just can't be bothered.

It's cloudy again. And looks cold.

Have no idea where we're going for dinner tonight and don't want to think about it. But at least the Christmas shopping's done.

Now for the wrapping. My least fave thing to do.

Do any of you have those days when you just can't be bothered doing ANYTHING? This is one of those for me. Rare, but when they hit, they hit.

Promise to perk up in a bit.

In the meantime, enjoy Sunday world!!!

hugs, Bridg

What the Angel is Supposed to Look Like


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Which Angel/Demon Are You?

Borrowed from Lime








Carole Lombard
You scored 21% grit, 23% wit, 38% flair, and 30% class!
You're a little bit of a fruitcake, but you always act out in style. You have a good sense of humor, are game for almost anything, but you like to have nice things about you and are attracted to the high life. You're stylish and modern, but you've got a few rough edges that keep you from attaining true sophistication. Your leading men include William Powell, Fredric March, and Clark Gable. Watch out for small planes.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.








My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:



















free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 47% on grit





free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 55% on wit





free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 47% on flair





free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 55% on class
Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Maybelline

Maxine was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.

When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next tim! e she looked around, there were three cops following her.

Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocentlywalked out.

The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an
eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."

Narnia--Caution this is a spoiler and a rant

OK it isn't a song title world...just got back from seeing the movie "Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe". My impression varies significantly from the other ones I've read. Don't read this post if you don't want to know what happens in the movie.

Had not read any of the Narnia series and my strong negative reaction is to the writing itself, not the movie. The special effects of the movie are very well done, really good. And the damn thing sucks you right in mentally/emotionally.

But that friggin' older sister!!! I wanted to strangle her 10 minutes into the movie and the urge just got stronger as time went on and it's a LONG movie!! And the traitorous little brother? OH MAN. Hanging would have been too good for them. Unforgiving? You bet.

Guess you can see that I really got into the movie to take the characters so much to heart. Honest my pulse is still umm not normal.

When Asland is killed (and resurrects), it really brought home what the Crucifixion must have been like. Have not seen The Passion of the Christ because I didn't think that I could stand it. Having seen Narnia and the strong gut reaction to that scene tells me I was darn right.

The Narnia series was written a long time ago. When women weren't depicted as heroic/active in popular culture. True to form, the main task of the female 'heroines' was either being a pain in the butt or simpering/screaming in the background. It.drove.me.nuts. Very frustrating to watch.

The idea that ANYONE could stand by during the execution of a good/herioc being goes so much against the grain that it hurt, I mean really hurt, to watch it.

It might sound stupid, but the job I have, and have had for years, involves 'righting wrong'. No I"m not a cop or judge, but it's similar. Guess it's really gotten into my blood because man that movie was hard to watch. Things turn out OK in the end, but just the idea that they could go that way even for a bit (I know I know it's probably more typical than not) is very painful.

Just a word of warning: if you're altruistic, or even mildly idealistic, you might react as I did.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

p.s. Liam Neeson, besides having one interesting face, is a wonderful voice. He's in the movie as Asland. Nicely done.

I'd take Harry Potter any day. OK it's modern, but at least Hermione isn't an idiot, and the turncoats are obvious turncoats. Family turning against family...and others....ugly. Just plain ugly.

Bridg (sorry she saw it)

Everything I Do

Well, world, hope your weekend's going as well as mine is. Especially Robin (over at ultrabright) and Batman...who are getting married this weekend.

The sun's finally come out. It's been cold enough (almost) to make me wear a jacket. Snow's gone from the streets...so much for 25 centimeters.

Went out and mailed/delivered some Christmas prezzies, feeling like an overripe elf (i.e. have caught the Christmas spirit and hope it's catching). Hate mailing presents because everyone in the world winds up doing that at the same time and you can spend hours standing in line (ouch). But today everything moved pretty quickly. Got feeling rundown and went to Starbucks for the first time (well, for myself). Decided to get M Starbucks stuff for Christmas. He loves coffee and needs to drink it on the way into work, so got him packs of coffee and a car-mug. It was (just) under $80!!! Didn't look at the prices first, dummy Bridg. But he's worth it.

Also got one for myself. The clerk (if it's OK to use that term nowadays) asked if I wanted one and it sounded like a good idea. Then he needed to know what kind. Said I didn't care as long as it had whipped cream in it. Am not sure what they gave me, but it was big, full of whipped cream, hot, strong and exactly what I needed. I.love.those.guys. All of them were chatting away (with me, which was nice) about shopping etc. Very thoughtful, very pleasant guys, expensive product but man it hit the spot.

One of them had one of those Tensor (wrap-around) bandages on mid-arm. Asked what happened. He has a tattoo and was told that he has to cover it up at work.

Hmmmmmm.

Took Mom to get her hair done, ran errands for the two hours it took for her to get through. Then we went to Cora's for brunch. If any of you in Canada haven't gone to Cora's please go. They have mountains of the best fruit you'll find anywhere. No matter what you order, it comes with this great fruit. And cream/whipped cream. Even bought Cora's mugs and coffee (this was our third time there).

Traffic today was a little nuts. Some people are afraid of speed because they don't drive often. Mom used to be like that. Those folks I wish would take side streets, not highways, but Heaven love them, they're trying hard. What drives me crazy is the self-righteous that do 80 (limit is 100) in the passing lane and won't move. I thank God that when my Mom had her heart attack last December 25 and I drove her to the hospital that none of the high priests of slow were in front of me. Not everyone driving at the speed limit is a speed demon.

Sis wants to go see Chronicles of Narnia tonight with me and Mom, so we're off to the movies tonight. Hope you have a great evening world.

p.s. Sorry Peaches, if you think I took a cheap shot at W for implying that he's the offspring of cousins marrying. That was supposed to be humor. Not everyone gets that.

Bridg

Five (only 5?) Weird Things About Bridg, Taken from DrinkJack

OK this is taking up drinkjack's challenge/offer....where you list 5 weird things about yourself. LIke Jack, I don't want to tag anyone, so if you like it go for it.

Here are the (first) five:

1-I am dyslexic. Reverse digits, letters, word orders. Writing or speaking (usually only when dead tired). Took me ages to figure out the diff between 3 and E, and to distinguish g, p,q. Don't even ask about b and d. The nuns who ran the school that I went to from kindergarten to grade 2 gave me lessons every day at recess to help. Never told the parents either.

2-I have a very active 5 year old inside me, even now. When I was 14, just for the hell of it, used to wet and wring dry a bath towel with cold water, drop it on my sleeping bro's face (they'd wake up yelling, of course). Would grab the towel, throw it in the bathtub and jump into bed, pulling the sheets up to my eyes so that no one could see me laughing. Bros got into trouble for yelling of course. Isn't that awful? Also used to wake them up with John Phillip Souza music early in the a.m. using the ventilation ducts as speakers. Yep, I am a brat.

3-My wonderful, cherished, beloved cousin died when we were both 18. She'd broken up with her boyfriend at a party and apparently he didn't like that. He crashed their car on the way home, driving through a barrier that was effective against 90 mph impacts. Although I was living in Ottawa at the time (she lived in Rahway, New Jersey), I knew she had died the second that she died. He lived, not a scratch on him. He's now married to someone just like Kathleen. He'd better pray that I never find him.

4-I am ambidexterous. Have two backhands in tennis, no forehand. Paint, do almost everything with both hands. Switch hands for certain shots in golf. Get very mixed up between right and left, but that's part of the dyslexia thing.

5-Occasionally I see flashes of light. Very small, barely noticeable. Have seen them since I was a little kid (5 or so). Am convinced that they're angels. Seriously.

OK so I'm weird! At least I"m not violent!!!

Bridg

Friday, December 16, 2005

Comeback of The Year

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility.

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?" A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?" A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?" A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then, officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?" A: "Yes sir, we do."

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?" A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?" A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?" A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.

Calling Elvis

Well world, Bridg has had a little too much of the red wine. On an empty stomach. Going to sleep it off in a few minutes. It's very tempting to go shopping but I was lucky to get home unbreathalized. Actually I'm not so much tipsy as TIRED. M too.

Had tons of snow (not very well plowed out, thanks very much Tony and Sons), the roads hadn't been plowed as of 7:15 but got to work pretty quickly for all that (that's a miracle considering the wine I had last night plus sleeping pill).

M shows up (1) wearing the black v neck sweater that goes so great with his white hair and chest fur (he could braid it) which he promised me he'd NEVER wear around me again. He's done that twice in one week; and (2) wearing a black leather jacket, which has just the same impact. M's a 'winter', as I am, which means black goes well with his skin/hair tones.

I can/am relatively platonic about every guy even though I love teasing, but this guy in black is just a bit much. Which is why I made him promise never to do that (wear that stuff) around me. So what's he doing, going to an office party wearing that stuff?

You should have seen the women falling all over him this morning (pre-party). It is FUNNY!!! D said that she loves him (half kidding). Yesterday he wore another black V neck thingie, and a big shot female we interviewed flipped her hair so many times I thought she was going to sprain something (giggling, facing him directly--the temp of the room went up 10 degrees C after M got there). Even EW flirted with him. Honest it's a scream.

So what did I do? Teased the living hell out of him for doing it.

Poor man, he took it well. I should explain that there are VERY few men in our group. I'd say the ratio is 1/15. No kidding. Lots of estrogen around. Too much yesterday and today, lemme tell you, but it was very funny to watch. Did he notice? Of course not.

Despite this, the meetings went super well (two in a row). Then party time! The location changed several times but we wound up at NGB's house. It was great. As mentioned, drank WAY too much. M and Lou made me sit down, which was a good thing (my leg goes numb after a few minutes--arthritis I think) and a bad thing (don't realize how much wine I've had until I stand up). Party was great, food even better, company superb. We had lots of presents and food for the two families that we 'adopted'. All of a sudden M's face went white after three hours of partying, at the same time all I could do was think of finding a place to nap. So we both split for home.

AND IT' S FRIDAY!!!!!!!

The troops wanted to know if they had to go back to the office this aft (some of the big shots including NBG had meetings after the party). I said that if they did they were fired, completely forgetting that M is now the boss. Then NBG announced that he didn't expect to see ANY of us back at work (great guy that he is, MWAH!!!).

I work with the best folks. EW is a pain, but a minor pain compared to Mr. B. M is fabulous, so are Dena, NBG, NBL (dunno if she's coming back) and the troops.

Pretty trusting of NBG to go back to work and leave all of us in his house under Lou's care!! One of the kids (T-bird) wanted to check out the boxers or briefs thing. Hope to high heaven that she didn't!! Also hope M got home OK....

Nighty night folks, Bridg's crashing.....happy weekend!!!

p.s. Just heard from M after he read one of my jokes. So he got home OK. Phew!! Night all...

Bridg (eyebrow deep in red wine....)

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Last Christmas

Just got in from a lovely four hour dinner with M and Lou. It was fantastic, and now it's snowing like blazes outside.

AND we have a 9:00 meeting tomorrow a.m. with Evil Witch. HO HO HO this should be fun (a) getting into work (b) wanting to get into work and (c) not strangling EW.

Dinner was fabulous. We had the best waiter I've ever had in my life and definitely the company was top notch. I made the mistake of teasing M about dying my hair blonde (THAT was going too far!!) but he was his usual self (laughed). I apologized later and he said that he was fine but my conscience is killing me at the moment. Well, that'll teach me.

I'm definitely coming back reincarnated as a dung beetle. Or amoeba poop. Is there anything lower than that? Well if so, that'll be me. Ms. Amoeba Poop (oh man that DOES sound like a real name doesn't it?).

Sigh.

Did I mention that two bottles of wine were consumed? Not sure who drank the most, think it was Lou. Not that us other two were far behind. M gave Lou some excellent advice. Hope she listens but it's hard for her to do that sometimes, especially since it involves acting against her natural grain. I had to do that in the 70s and later on with Mr. B. It's a very tough lesson but each time I had to do it, sure learned/grew a lot.

My shrink is happy with me (saw her today). Don't go back until Feb. She's quite pleased with the progress etc. Noticed the smashed/purple/blackish finger. So is everyone these days. Said 'that's a BAD one'. Yeppir. But only hurts a little when I type or tap my finger against something. That tapping habit has gotta stop. Am sick of yelping 'ouch' all the time (lol).

Well, world, am feeling the impact of wine plus sleeping pills (I know, bad Bridg) so am off to bed.

Will catch up later, unless we get snowed in (keep your fingers crossed. The Boston experience would be great here.....).

Bridg

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Borrowed/Stolen from Snav

You Are Vixen

Sexy and sultry, you're the one all the other reindeer dream about.

Why You're Naughty: That fur pulling spat you got into with Dancer over Santa.

Why You're Nice: Because even when you're nice, you're still delightfully naughty!

Why Canadians Are Tired

WHY CANADIANS ARE SO TIRED

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine,
and too much pressure from my job, ear wax build-up, poor blood or anything else
I could think of.

But now I found out the real reason:I'm tired because I'm overworked!
Here's why:

The population of Canada is 30 million.
11 million are retired,
that leaves 19million to do the work.

There are 5.5 million in school, which leaves 13.5 million to do the work.

Of this there are 3 million employed by the federal government, leaving 10.5million to do the work.

1 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Terrorists, which leaves 9.5 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 7 million people who work for Provincial and city Governments, and that leaves 2.5 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 476,000 people in hospitals, leaving 2,024,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons and 812,000 on Employment Insurance and Welfare.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice.

Real nice.

Mango

Hi world! Feeling more like Christmas/holidays?

Except for the door-damaged finger, I am! Heard the 12 Days of Christmas on the way home, Bob and Doug McKenzie's version. It's too long to print here but a hoot, so it rated a seperate post.

Spent all day on something, only to be called off of it by Evil Witch at literally the last moment. FIIIINE. M and I will meet with her and her poor workee on Friday a.m. 'to discuss it'. Sigh. This function is supposed to be transferred to me, possibly this week. So why does it matter? You're right, it doesn't. M's much more polite about it than I am. This poor workee started explaining to me that she isn't an idiot. Laughed my ___ off saying that I know that! But she'd been belittled and ground into the dirt (like the poor guy I told you about yesterday) that she's having issues believing in herself.

People like EW cause so much damn damage. They should all work in the same building, on a very remote island, surrounded by a 20 foot high wall with razor wire, glass and raptors around the outside. Then they can kill each other and leave the rest of us alone.

That's one of Bridg's fantasies.....

Think M got a call from his girlfriend today. I might have mentioned it to you guys a year ago. She's the cute younger blonde who offered to have a baby with him (he broke my heart when he told me about this) last June or July and I made him promise never to tell me anything like that again (at the time, he said that he loved me). He was speaking to someone in French today, and it's the first time he wouldn't talk to someone on the phone with me there, including his wife. Sigh.

Not your issue, Bridg. NOT.YOUR.ISSUE.

Had a lovely meeting with NBG and another big shot. Went very well. Am trying like hell not to think about M and his extra-curricular activities.

Am getting used to typing with a wounded finger but wow did it get attention at work. I had on a mauve sweater today and the nail is the same color. Oh yah and about 1/3 bigger than my other fingers. Ouchie.

Dinner's ready, gotta run. Feel sorry for myself (M) so am having pizza!

Will visit blogs tonight...stay warm, world..hope you liked Bob and Doug's song!

Bridg

12 Days of Christmas

Bob and Doug McKenzie's 12 Days of Christmas
courtesy of: http://www.execulink.com/~bobnet/hoser/12days.html
Bob
Okay, good day, this is our Christmas part of the album, and you can play this at your Christmas parties, uh, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothing else to do.
Doug
Good day, eh? In case you thought, like, I wasn't on this part!
Bob
Oh, I guarantee ya, you'd be on. Okay, so, good day, this is the Christmas part, and, we're gonna tell you what to get, uh, your true love for Christmas.
Doug
Look out the window!
Bob
Where?! Whadda ya doing?
Doug
Snow, hosehead.
Bob
Wha? Oh, it's the Great White North, and it's snowing, cause it's Christmas time. Hey, hoser!
Doug
What?
Bob
Here's a quiz. Quiz for Doug.
Doug
Okay, I have my thinking touque on.
Bob
Yeah, right. What are the twelve days of Christmas? Cause, figure it out, right. Christmas is when?
Doug
Uh, the 25th.
Bob
Right, and what's the 24th, Christmas Eve, right? So, that's two. And then, what's after that?
Doug
Um... Uh, Wrestling Day.
Bob
No. Get out.
Doug
Boxing Day, yeah, yeah.
Bob
That's three. Then what's after that? Nothing.
Doug
New Year's.
Bob
Four. And what's...
Doug
New Year's Eve.
Bob
Five. Where do you get twelve?
Doug
Uh... There's two Saturdays and Sundays in there, that's four. That's nine. And, three other days, which I believe are the mystery days.
(Music starts.)
Bob
Okay now. This is our Christmas song, in case you don't know what to get somebody for Christmas.
Doug
There's lots of ideas in here, so, listen, and don't get stuck.
Bob
Okay.
Doug
By the way, that's me on the organ.
Bob
Aw, geez.
Doug
You start.
Bob
Okay. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a beer.
Doug
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two turtlenecks,
Bob
And a beer. (Okay...) On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French toast,
Doug
Two turtlenecks,
Bob
And a beer. (Okay...)
Doug
There should be more there, eh?
Bob
Where? On the... go.
Doug
Fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: four pounds of backbacon,
Bob
Three French toast,
Doug
Two turtlenecks,
Bob
And a beer.
Doug
In a tree. See, you need more.
Bob
Fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five golden touques!
Doug
Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob
Three French toast,
Doug
Two turtlenecks,
Bob
And a beer, what was it?
Together
In a tree!
Bob
Okay, on the sixth... go.
Doug
Of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six packs of two-four,
Bob & BG Singers
Five golden touques!
Doug
Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob
Three French toast,
Doug
Two turtlenecks,
Bob
And a beer,
Together
In a tree!
Bob
Okay.
Doug
Okay.
Bob
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven packs of smokes,
Doug
(Nice gift...) Oh, six packs of two-four! (BG Singers also sing "nice gift".)
Bob & BG Singers
Five golden touques!
Doug
Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob
Three French toast,
Doug
Two turtlenecks,
Bob
And a beer,
Together
In a tree!
Bob
Right, I keep forgetting.
Doug
Phew! This should just be the two days of Christmas, it's too hard for us!
Bob
Um...
Doug
Go, hoser.
Bob
Oh.
Together
Eigth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Doug
Eight comic books,
All
Seven packs of smokes, six packs of two-four,
(Bob and Doug become unsynchronized with the BG Singers, and quit singing.)
BG Singers
Five golden touques! Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks,
All
And a beer,
Doug
On my tree!
Bob
Yeah. That beer's empty. Okay. Day,
BG Singers
Twelve!
Bob
Uh, twelve.
Doug
Good day, and welcome to day twelve.
BG Singers
Five golden touques!
All
Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks, and a beer, in a tree!
Bob
Beauty, eh?
Doug
Where'd you learn to do that?
Bob
Uh, albums.
Doug
Boy. So, like, that's our song, Merry Christmas...
Bob
Merry Christmas!
Doug
And good day!
Bob
Good day, everybody. Happy New Year, too. Sheesh. Okay, you know what you left out?
Doug
What?
Bob
Donuts - I told you to get me donuts! Either on the ninth day or the tenth day, or the eleventh day, I wanted donuts!
Doug
Okay, the song's over.
Bob
But I want...
Doug
Merry Christmas, everybody!
Bob
Or on the twelfth day, you coulda got me a dozen donuts.
Doug
So, go out to the stores, and get some presents.
Bob
You coulda gone down to, like, the good donut shop, where if you buy a dozen, you get another one free, and then thirteen for the thirteen days of Christmas.
Doug
Well, next Christmas, I'll get me a chainsaw...
Bob
Take off!
Doug
Boy, that song was a beauty. It moved me...
Bob
Yeah, I think it ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven...
Doug
Wha-?
(Music fades.)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Abby Dear Abby

Dear Abby:
I am a crack dealer in Nepean who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier
of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Pembroke and one of my
sisters, who lives in Petawawa, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling>marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are>prostitutes in Smith Falls.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in
Kingston for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently
being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting his
three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives
in Hull and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. Her
time there is limited, however, as we hope to open our own brothel with her
as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in
joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves,
it would get them off the street, and, hopefully, the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into
the family, and of course, I want to be totally honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who voted Conservativel?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

STD Warning!

Just in case you know of any cases in your area, you can send this along to the treating physicians.
STD!

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Socially Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him."

Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior.

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a ship at port in Montreal.

Three Little Maids (Ducks) Are We

Three little ducks go into a bar......
"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day.
What else could a duck want?" said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender.

He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?" "Dewey",
came
the answer from duck number two.
"So, how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles
all
day myself. What else could a duck want?"
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So you must be
Louie?"
"No," she said, batting
her eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles."

Questions and Answers

Keep running through my mind all night...

and on it goes! Hi world!!! Hope you're OK tonight?
I just slammed the car door on my index finger (right hand) five minutes ago. NO not on purpose, so this may be short tonight. It is killing me to type and I can't type by hunt-and-peck , it drives me nuts(er). HAD to fill up the car (gas) tonight, was down to the last line before E and just shut the door too quickly. Didn't even have time to swear. Ouchie.

Well, to quote M, regarding yesterday, I am very sensitive to boss' (or anyone's) mood changes but rotten at interpreting them. The man (NBG) was showing how comfortable he is with me by totally delegating stuff to me AND teasing me. This is breakthrough for all of us (in a good way). Today he was wonderful again, the few times that I saw him. NBG I mean.

M talked to one of the two people who want to join us (the one who's helping us anyway on the sly). She was very happy after talking to us. She laughed when I joined (her and M) them and said that "M just told her that I wasn't blowing smoke up her ---" about work and her role in it. Cracked me up. Later I got an e mail from a friend of hers who thanked me for putting a smile on this lady's face. Made my week, lemme tell ya. M's too (I sent it to him also).

This was another day of running from pillar to post, but all of it was good. Got to see a fair bit of M, nothing of Lou :( and little of NBG but what I did see was mmmmarvelous. Marc's on a 3 day course. I told him to 'catch a cold' if it's boring. Work going great with T-bird (the other newbie, who is also terrific). M polished off a few things that I'd started with NBG. It isn't possible to be happier than I am right now.

Asked M if we were going to buy each other Christmas prezzies this year. He said "you mean that one you got me wasn't a Christmas present???" I answer "No, that's a farewell from the last place (where we worked) because I was on sick leave when you left (couldn't/didn't think of presents then) and you did a great job there."

"Great job?!" he says, "I got fired!!"
"Great job", I reiterated, " it was my fault that you got fired!"
He responds "Yeah but....grrr" (meaning TLT/Mr. B would have gotten to him anyway.

So we never did settle it. Think I"ll go to Chapters and get him something smart (I mean for smart folks).

Last night because I was worried about NBG, fell asleep early, woke up at 1:00, couldn't get back to sleep so started doing housework. Until 3:00. Woke up again at 8:15 (I leave the house at 8 normally), drove like the wind and got to work on time. M was a bit late. Was sooooo sleepy I didn't think that I would last the morning, but was far more human after two coffees. Lasted the whole day.

Good thing I did too, T-bird needed face time with both of us. And I had a LOT of meetings to arrange and un-arrange. I suck at that stuff. Decided to check in with the shrink because am running out of sleep meds. Guess what, my apppointment's Thursday. Had forgotten. That might explain running low on meds, Bridg!!!

Boy you should see this finger. The nail's pretty much black and swollen. It's a teeny bit numb. Just enough feeling to hurt like the dickens.

Mom's feeling very good. Was going to venture into her basement to bring up decorations, until I reminded her that last year she was in the hospital at Christmas, and I didn't really want to do that again this year (her stairs are steep). Bro will get that stuff on Thursday, only a day or two away. She agreed. And is feeling quite good, thank heavens.

OK better call it quits for now. Hey NCIS is on tonight, don't forget.....

Love y'all! Look out for car doors, world!!!

Bridg