Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Possession Obsession

Yay Hall & Oates!!!

Hey world. Know I've been unbelievably happy these days. Today was the first non-headline-grabbing-great day in two months at the new job. So 2 months is pretty good.

Nothing bad happened. Just...well...a lot of things got slow. No one reason. Did get to spend a lot of time with two great colleagues for a few hours. Tomorrow, get to spend an hour with the Evil Witch at work. Usually when she does that she tries to threaten or intimidate me in guise of 'helping' or 'protecting' me. NBG said that she talked to him about her feedback/criticisms first. I asked if I should be concerned. He laughed and said no, just to smile and say 'yah yah yah' until she leaves.

This.is. odd. but whatever....Actually it's a task that she should be doing but he (NBG) took away from her.
How worried am I? Not, except I have to waste an hour tomorrow pretending to care. Actually I do pay attention, but then reflect to make sure that what I'm hearing doesn't have a second agenda. It usually does.

No news on the M front. He was supposed to be at home today and wasn't. The human resource lady we need to staff him has been sick every day this week. But we are still counting on Monday. Did get to talk to S and Marc today, which is always great. Issy, S and I are having dinner together next week.

Some very aggressive and bossy people are trying to drag me to their lair to work on some projects. The problem is that they're breaking every rule in the book, they think that the org I work for is out of control and incompetent (and that they're the smart ones--and worse, that they're our bosses) I have to tell them this ain't the way to go and there are 6 of them and 1 of me. And they want to do it on Friday afternoon. Is this going to happen? Not unless Hell freezes over.

The old office (G man) is still sending me questions and requests for help. In dealing with one of them, found out accidentally that Mr. B's girlfriend asked for something from G man, saying it was missing (one of my contract deliverables). Since this project ended a year ago, it's insinuating that the contractors got paid by me for work that they didn't do, ie. fraud. Wrote back, told G man how to find copies of the work. Then called the company and asked THEM to send extra copies too. Since my old office is ISO certified, they have copies anyway, unless someone 'lost' them after I left. My files for this project were used in ISO audits, so I know the stuff's there. It ticks me off that someone would go to such lengths to make me or M or both look stupid/bad/unethical. Am thinking of harassment action, but will wait to see if that's what it really is. Silly, dumb, childish etc. head games. You know the old saying "I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person"? Yah like that.

On the domestic front, all snow is gone. Yesterday it got to 17 degrees (a record breaking temp). Warm today too.

Sis was feeding Mom's cat people food (tuna) and he's lost so much weight it's scary. No one noticed it until I said something on Sunday. Vet agreed with me, give him CAT food. Picked some up for Mom/her cat on the way home and found out that what I've been feeding The Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe is junk food and that there's something WAY better according to the store staff. Bought it, gave it to both cats tonight and they gobbled it up like they were starving.

Shit. Now I feel bad. But glad that someone told me what to get for them (canned food is something I'm not familiar with. My other cats all ate dry. MSCITU quit eating dry after she had a bladder operation a few years ago). Well, you learn something every day....or since I switched jobs, every hour...

Had to move my illegally parked car at work today too. Not that I blame them. By the time I got to work (the crack of 9:10), all the spots were full so I created one. They didn't like that. OK OK I moved the car...

And tomorrow is another day!!!

Bridg (hiding under a rock)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Does Bridg's Life Suck?

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 6
Mind: 6.3
Body: 4.3
Spirit: 8.8
Friends/Family: 5.3
Love: 4.3
Finance: 6.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

You're Beautiful (It's True)

Hola world, happy Tuesday (MAN it feels like Thursday!). How be you tonight?

It is pouring outside and WARM. Lovin' this. No snow around except on the corner of guess who's driveway. As long as this stuff doesn't freeze, it's great.

Got the BEST news!! They can transfer M right into our organization! He could be here on MONDAY!!! There's a human resources type person who has to do this and she's sick, but it is soooooo reassuring. A real shot in the arm (OK you know what I meant! Energy not pain!).

More panic e mails from the old job (new boss in the old job) that shows further ummmm deterioration there. Hope I never have to see that place again. M said that he would hire me when he gets here (I know NBG-new boss guy--will do that so am not worried but it was sweet of M to say that).

This is funny! I find a job before M, move there, then get him hired as my boss permanently in my new office before I"m hired permanently! It'll be OK.

New boss lady (who's on stress leave) came into work today for a visit. She won't be back till the end of January. Looked better, she finally admitted that she's burned out. She brought in her daughter (the one who had cancer--sweet 9 year old) to the office too.

Other stuff went on today--the audit witch was nice to me in a meeting, we came to a good agreement, and the minute I left she tried to bully my boss into getting me to work for her (he told me this later). Of course it didn't work, but I can't believe that she even tried it. Lots of other meetings too but it's all good.

Can you believe this, one of the kids was sick. Stayed home in the a.m. and came into work at noon! I gave him a bit of hell (teasing) but just can't believe this guy's professionalism/energy. Holy crabfish.

OK off to make dinner and watch NCIS.

Have a great evening, world!!!


Man Smart But De Woman Be....

Thank you Peter....wise man that you are!!!

A Man Who Knows His Math:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to have to drive on the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger...."Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I always smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why: I drive 48 miles each way every day to work; That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That, brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass everyday.

Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that every single day, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? .... I don't think so!

Monday, November 28, 2005


Hi world!! Had the absolute best day to day and hope you did too!

There are a fair number of folks getting hit by flu here. ....

But that's not why the day was good. Talked to pal of pals Pauly about something else today--the new boss back at the old place, who replaced M working for the Evil Troll Mr. B, sent me something not very good to comment on. Am afraid that my comments were fairly ummm not salty but damn strongly worded. It just read like Mr. B declaring war on my profession (again). Turns out that Mr. B rattled G-man's cage by telling him that he had to do X, Y and Z by such-and-such a date or he was outa there. That explains the quality of the stuff G-man sent over--he clearly was rattled into doing a bad job.


Not G-man, Mr. B.

Way to motivate folks.

Anyway, Pauly told me that NBG told him that people asked him where he (NBG) found me. Being a smart ass, I said "WHAT!!! Do you mean they're asking 'how many rocks did you have to look under to find HER'?!! Or "How the HELL did you find THAT ONE???". Pauly says 'no no no he meant it in a good way', but I'm giggling WAY too much to hear or speak.

It's a hell of a compliment and leave it to me to turn it into a joke/insult. Thought it was good and hilarious at the same time. Honest it isn't bragging, I really thought that this was funny. Especially since I thought of it at 8:30, when my brain is usually quite dead.

It's also a really good thing that Pauly told me this, because we (NBG and I) called M at the end of the day to tell him where the hiring-M process is. NBG starts off by saying that the only way that they could hire M is to let me go, but I was being very gracious and cooperatively agreed to go. I agreed.

Dead silence from M (this is on the phone).

Then M asks where my new job is.

I said for M's current boss (who is a world-class- everyone-hates-this-guy-including-NBG- type A-hole). I said that I was going to make that guy regret the day he joined our org.

OK everyone laughs.

But if NBG had done that, and I hadn't had the good feedback from Pauly, I would have been sweating that he joked about it......

At least I think he was joking......


Too Bad Not To Share

Thanks for this one, Bob! Love it....

Scrooge was sitting in his office the week before Christmas. He was counting his money, making sure he had made enough profit for the year.
Suddenly, he became aware of an irritating noise. He could not concentrate on anything else. He realized the sound was coming from under his desk. Looking under the desk, he was surprised to see Jiminy Cricket, playing a tune. He crouched down, and said "Jiminy, What are you doing?"
"I'm singing you a Christmas carol," Jiminy replied, "but I've forgotten the words, so I'm just humming it instead." "That's not all," said Scrooge. "You're only playing the first bar, over and over again."
"Well," says Jiminy, "I guess that makes me a bar hum bug."
Need For SpeedNot exactly Top Gun

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Sunday, November 27, 2005

War Without Tears

Hola world and happy Sunday soir!

How's that for sorta trilingual? Nah, that wouldn't count.

Anyway, this turned out to be an odd day. Still glad it was a weekend. Had a call from Sis warning that the mall that I wanted to go to eventually (rarely get out of the house before 2 on weekends) was blocked by police. Actually it isn't really a mall, so much as a huge bunch of stores within the same place --well, within 1/2 mile of each other--with no rooves overhead. Traffic was backed up the ying-yang and she was stuck in it.

Three hours later, went out, did groceries, then HAD to go to that area to look for a prezzie for Lou. It was her bd a few days ago and I am LATE. Knew exactly what I wanted to get, and it was at Chapters, and Chapters is part of that big mess of stores (the Centrum). Guess what, the street was still closed. There were only two ways into the place, both of them one lane (usually one is 4) and EVERYONE was driving homicidally. It.was.nuts.

And Chapters was sold out of what I wanted for Lou. OKKKKKK. Did have a plan B, which involved going to the second-worst place for parking in the city (Farm Boy Plaza, I guess it's called). It's bad because there is only one lane in AND out, the numbers of stores has tripled but the parking hasn't, and they added a huge Liquor Control Board store (the only place to get alcohol except beer--kind of like a State Store to our U.S. pals). There tend to be a lot of angry, testosterone-driven male 20 something yahoos in 4x4s in that parking lot, and guess what now they're all connected! Kanata has the highest concentration of retired people/seniors in the area, so the combination of slow walkers who ignore drivers, drivers in a hell of a hurry (and angry too at delays), one lane to go anywhere and not enough parking...mmmm, mmmm, mmmmmm drivers' version of hell. There is one worse, however, where a second concentration of seniors and ummm people new to Canada and cars live. There they just shut their eyes and floor the accelerator. No kidding. Dangerous place.

But I digress. The reason for the streets closure? Some folks had been at a restaurant/pub until 2:30 Sat. morning. Decided to do the responsible thing and stay at a Holiday Inn which is part of the Centrum/big unholy mess of stores. It would take a taxi to get from the restaurant to the HI. Anyway, previously (maybe just previously) there had been a turf battle between two cabbies over fares at the restaurant site. In the end, one of the people going from the bar/restaurant to HI, a woman, slipped on the ever-present (in Canada) ice, fell under the cab, and the cab took off with no one in it, and drove for at least 1/4 mile, dragging the woman under the damn cab the whole time, and even GOT ONTO THE HIGHWAY with the body still under the car--while her husband and pal chased the cab. Police got pulled into the act when her friends/witnesses called 911 and the Ontario Provincial Police. Plus someone called to report a body on the highway.

Can you believe that??? How stupid, deaf, and angry would the driver have to be not to know that something was dragging under the car? How could he not have seen the people running after him, yelling and pointing? At what point did that poor woman die?

I hope they throw the book at him. In fact, I'd volunteer to do it myself.

In view of all the anger and angst floating around (frustration over street closures and the very limited 'driving room' in that area), Mom and I didn't see HP again. Will go later, when folks get over being mad/shaken up. At an hour when kids will be in bed.

Then wound up in a drugstore mail counter to pick up a package that turned out to be my Microsoft Office Works stuff. In front of me were people gang mailing parcels all over the place. There was only one poor person working there until someone noticed the huge line up (of more folks with more packages. Two had two grocery carts piled over the top with them). *shaking my head*...this appears to have been one of those 'wrinkle in the universe' days. Best forgotten except by the friends and family of that poor woman.

The mom of a long-time boyfriend passed away this weekend. Have you women ever dated a guy who was just great for you, a great pal, even like his family--but no spark? Gregg and I dated for two years and it never got romantic on my part. At my bridal shower, his mom and mine got along like a house afire. Both agreed I was nuts for not marrying Gregg. But I didn't. No point if the emotions aren't there.

Would I have made the same choice again, knowing what I do now? Well, no I would never have married Steve. What I took for lightheartedness was being stuck at age 18. I say that with no rancour, it's just how it was. Gregg was more my speed but I was immature too and too eager to wind up with someone who in no way resembled my father. That could have been Gregg just as well, but I didn't see it at the time.

Ah the errors of youth. No regrets, have learned a lot. Sorry for the loss of his mom, she was a good person. One of two cases I know of where the husband senior outlived the wife senior.

Anyway, just a note to say watch the stupid cabbies in Ottawa and suburbs. This isn't the first death involving taxi drivers' patrons lately--even the 6:00 news commented on it.

Stay safe folks, freezing rain tonight. Am trying to set up a website to link to this blog like DMJ does but so far am only messing up. One day....


Saturday, November 26, 2005

Try A Little Tenderness

Try A Little Tenderness
Words & Music by Harry Woods, Jimmy Campbell & Reg Connelly
Recorded by Bing Crosby, 1933, and a billion others since then
courtesy of: http://www.theguitarguy.com/tryalitt.htm

She may be weary -- some times they do get weary
Wearing the same old shabby dress.
And when she's wear - y, try a little ten - der - ness.
You know she's waiting, just an - ti - ci - pa - ting
Things she may never possess;
While she's there waiting, try a little ten - der - ness.
It's not just sen - ti - men - tal,
She has her grief and care,
And a word that's soft and gentle,
Makes it ea - si - er to bear.
You won't regret it --young girls they don't for - get it;
Love is their whole hap - pi - ness.
It's all so ea - sy -- try a little ten - der - ness.

World, you would not believe how many websites have various versions of the lyrics to this song. This site was the closest to accurate I could find. Have never heard BC's version of it. Never thought of him as a blues guy. But it's a cool song.

Happy Saturday all! Just dropping by to say hi. Woke up at 7:30 thinking about work (not the best sign but...). Negotiations to get M into our org went hot and heavy on Friday afternoon until 6:00. He's coming, we are staffing him permanently, his current bosses are trying to get away with murder but NBG is handling it very smoothly and well, as usual. Was hoping to have a start date today but it might actually be 5-6 weeks away. That thought is a bit disturbing, as there is a mountain of stuff to do in the next few weeks. Why does everyone set 'by Christmas' as a due date??

Going to see flipping HP at 1:45 today with Sis and Mom YAY. So have to get shopping and errands done before then because it's a long movie. Some of the places I need to go will be closed by the time it'll be over and not open on Sunday. Did get a fair bit done already. Thought that the refunds that I have to submit for from our drug plan were piling up so I wrote them up today to send them in. $1500 worth yikes. Must pay more attention to the mail. Found a $40 parking ticket in the pile due Nov. 30.

Well if they pull me over for non-payment I can relax in jail for a few days with the other criminals ;)

Tee hee hee NBG would freak. Can't have that!

It's snowing fairly quickly outside. It's quiet outside and kinda warm inside (the clouds insulate. Nothing colder than a clear winter day). The snowplow guys had not done my driveway or Mom's since the first snowfall. I did the end of the driveway but found that a bit hard on the chest. Not arms or anything. Anyway, they said that their equipment seized and that they're doing the driveways manually for now. This a.m. my driveway was done.

Hope their equipment gets fixed soon....from now on I"m just driving over it.

Oh that reminds me have to change light bulbs outside.

It never ends....

'See'/'Chat' later, world!!



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Friday, November 25, 2005

Raven's Non Tag

ten years ago:
1995 I was working for a great boss in the place now under the control and terror of Mr. B. Then it was a great place to be. Lots of freedom, support and creativity, no money woes and lots of mutual respect.

five years ago: Still working in the same org, same job, with a witch for a boss who threw people out of her office (junior and senior to her), drank on the job, ran around our desks to see if we were playing the stock market at work (as if!), threw things, stamped her feet, yelled and slammed doors. The yelling was so loud that people on the other floor of our building would come over to find out what was wrong NOW.

one year ago: Was working with M and just realized that he wasn't the jerk I thought he was, and that I was actually happy working with him.

yesterday, i : worked and was completely out of control of the work ('frenetic' applies), went home, watched TV/blogged and rapidly fell asleep.

five snacks i enjoy:
1. Natcho Cheese Doritos (breath destroyers)
2. Hint of Lime Tostitos
3. Brownies
4. Chocolate covered almonds
5. French bread and brie/dijon mustard

five songs to which i know all the words: (this could be a very long list, I was a disc jockey ....)
1. Any Eagles song (love Desperado)
2. Moody Blues, any song (Gemini Dream)
3. Peter Gabriel songs (esp. Sledgehammer)
4. Atlanta R&B songs of the 60s+ (Try Some Tenderness, Higher and Higher)
5. Patty Labelle songs (New Attitude)

five things i would do with $100 million:
1. pay off the debt of all my family / friends
2. buy a house with a big garage to park the Honda (no kidding, the sports version)
3. Buy an apartment condo for my Mom
4. Invest enough to live off of
5. Donate at least a quarter of the whole lump sum to a homeless charity.

five places to run away:
1. Bahamas
2. Hawaii
3. Virgin Islands (St. Thomas comes to mind)
4. Egypt
5. MAYBE Bermuda (unconvinced)

five bad habits:
1. emotional eating
2. low energy
3. tendency to teach
4. not changing cat's litter box fast enough to suit her
5. don't treat money with much respect

five things i like doing:
1. watching TV
2. watching movies
3. writing
4. sleeping
5. sex

five things i would never wear:
1. fur (real or fake)
2. bras outside of work
3. vintage clothes from any era
4. heels (ouch)
5. any fad style (tend to stick to classics)

five favorite tv shows:
2. ER (it's getting tired tho)
3. Makeover and a Movie
4. Ghost Whisperer
5. Medium

five biggest joys in my life:
1. Mom, Sis (and Bros)
2. My joke networks
3. Pals (S, Issy, M, Marc, Pauly, Doris, Lou, Dena, you guys)
4. my job and NBG
5. that i'm gaining energy and health while losing inches.

five favorite toys:
1. my mp3 player
2. my computer
3. my car
4. desk toys (you know, those things that colored goo drips through? There are at least 5 of them on this desk
5. a personal battery operated device

If you read here and you want to do this meme .. you're tagged!!


Thursday, November 24, 2005

Boredom at the Office

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Everything That Touches You

courtesy of: http://www.inlyrics.com/lyrics/A/Association/58560.html
(Terry Kirkman)
In my most secure moments, I still can't believe
I'm spending those moments with you
And the ground I am walking, the air that I breathe
Are shared at those moments with you
You love for real, you show the feel
Of everything that touches you
In the songs I've been singing, quite often a phrase
Comes close to the feeling of you
But I never suspected that one of those days
The wish of a song would come true
You love for real, you show the feel
Of everything that touches you
You are of gracefulness, you are of happiness
You are what I would guess to be most like
What I've been singing of
Love, love, love, love
In the songs I've been singing, quite often a phrase
Comes close to the feeling of you
But I never suspected that one of those days
The wish of a song would come true
You love for real, you show the feel
Of everything that touches you
Love, love, love, love

Oldie but goody, huh world?
It is a cool one tonight here. Allegedly we had 10 centimeters (whatever that is in inches) but it looks like more than that. The ice under it was fun to drive on (not). Took a lot of people as long as 2-3 hours to get to work today.

Would have been a great day to curl up in front of a fire in pjs with a book, blanket and whatever (tea?) to drink. But had a presentation, a big one, to make so in to work I went, along with a lot of other folks who can't drive on ice. Took an hour (usually 20 minutes) which wasn't all that bad. VERY glad for snow tires, let me tell you.

Presentation went OK too. Most of the talking/negotiating turned out to be done by my boss (NBG) who is fantastically good at negotiating and presenting. He really is.

Was so busy after actually did not know what end was up. Not exaggerating either. The troops, bless their hearts, volunteered to help, but the main thing was data that 3 other groups were supposed to produce before 1:00. The last one checked in at about 5:45, and the numbers were changing as I typed. Have read this thing so many times I can't see it anymore, or care. That's dangerous! But it got done, I think.

Don't get me wrong, I love this job and the people (except the Witch and she's almost irrelevant). Just don't like being out of control in that way. In lots of ways, it's fun but not that one!

Kept running into the same lady over and over at work. She is calm, nice, smart, funny and just so gracious you can't help relaxing in her presence. Honest, must have bumped into her at least 6 times. It was great. Another pal "made" me eat her home-made cookies, her grandmother's recipe. They were fantastic and I love visiting with her, she's so nice. She and NBG were given an award for our organization's contribution to charity. It was a wonderful achievement, and both of them worked hard for it (not the award, the charity. When they went to this do, neither of them knew about the award).

Was very glad to get home tho. Just to make the world stop spinning for a few hours. M cannot get here soon enough, we desperately need more hands. NBL is supposed to be back at work on Monday. No one knows if she will show or not, or how well she's doing. It was very hard for me to go back after one month, can't imagine two.

Sis is now cooking Christmas dinner. Mom thought that she was doing the cooking originally. So I'd bought a big monster turkey. Made a deal with Sis. I'm giving her the turkey if she'll buy the appetizers that we make for trimming the tree (I mean for everyone to eat). Am bringing the turkey whenever we go to see Harry Potter to give to Sis. If it isn't this weekend, I'm gonna explode (need some fantasy!).

Hope that everyone's Thanksgiving yesterday was wonderful and that most of you escaped snow (unless like Raven you like snow..in which case hope you had tons!)!

Hugs, world!!


Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Bridg's Take Me Or Leave Me List Inspired by Mel

OK, since the brave and wonderful Mel did this, I'll give it a shot. Laughter welcome:

I love:
My family
My friends (including you guys of course)
Disney, and all happy endings movies
Movies, period
My cat (I know, typical old lady)
The ocean and all the life that is (supposed to be) in it
Singing (and I suck at it)
Housekeeping except vacuuming
Reading (fiction)
Angels and all that new-age stuff (since the age of 5, this isn't a fad thing)
Medicine (knowledge, that is)
Animals of any kind, the furrier and bigger the better, especially dogs
Owls (technically they don't have fur)
Music, especially Atlanta R&B
Making fun of authority figures (except the ones I like)
The aroma of my herb garden

I hate:
Mean people, especially abusive Jeckyl and Hyde types
Bad drivers, especially the passive-agressive ones
Corn (except popped) and stewed tomatoes
Fords except the Mustang
Math or anything remotely connected with numbers (ironic considering both my parents majored in Math Ed at an Ivy League school. I'm the family disgrace)
The fact that I know how to do a lot of "guy stuff" around the house
Movies where bad things happen to animals, even if it turns out OK in the end

Am a practical joker like you would not believe
Quick with jokes and funny retorts (a real smart a--)
A fast thinker (most of the time)
A good public speaker
A bad disciplinarian
Am not exactly a morning person
Am a 'feeling' type of person learning to use facts as much as intuition
Have weight issues but am rapidly shedding that
Can't drink more than 1.5 drinks without my feet and fingers swelling to some enormous size. Would make an awful alcoholic because of that
Have dreams that happen (and really don't like it either)
am 53 going on 12

MAN that is WAY too much about me.

How about you?

Or Would You Rather Be A .....Turtle?

This may be more info than one wants to know!!!!! Again, thanks Vic!!

Proof that the World is Nuts! (p.s. I have no idea if these are true or not...)

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. *~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time . Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry (I REALLY hope that one's hogwash).

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time (what about the pets? I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this >law?)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour (but is not punishable by death--Who volunteers for this stuff?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated (From drinking little bottles of ... Did the government pay for this research?)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Butterflies taste with their feet.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that, Mr. B for starters.)

Starfish don't have brains.

And, the best for last... Turtles can breathe through their butts. Now I KNOW Mr. B's the offspring of a turtle and an ostrich....

And They're All Made Out of Ticky-Tacky And They All Look Just The Same

Politically incorrect (from Vic) but what the hell!

History Lesson

History began some 12,000 years ago...

>>Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They >lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the coast & >live on fish & lobster in winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer & the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization & together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups: Liberals & Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain & that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking & killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer.

This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker & less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's & doing the sewing, fetching & hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women.
The rest became>known as 'girleymen.' (Bridg rolling on the floor laughing)

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy & group hugs & the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat & beer that conservatives provided (Bridg wonders where sex gets into this story).

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, & French food are standard liberal fare (Bridg soooooo did not write this crap)

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood & group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat & still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, military men, athletes & generally anyone who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing except legislation (adds Bridg). They like to "govern" the producers & decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Canadians. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America (also because most of Europe smartened up and chased the conservatives the hell out).

They crept in after the Wild West was tame & created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a Liberal will have an uncontrollable urge to respond to the above instead of simply laughing and forwarding it.

Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On

Man was Jerry Lee Lewis nuts or what? Gotta admire that spirit, tho, world...

Well don't remember yesterday at all. Did get to the dentist and whatever he did caused a lot of bleeding and took 2 hours (a bit more) to do. They must have gotten the dosage of the meds right because I don't remember a thing except going home and sleeping till 6:00, then going to bed. Think I visited a few blogs too...Now I can barely open my mouth wide enough to eat a sandwich. They did caps, upper and lower, on the same side of my mouth. Pretty sore. They called today to check about how I was, which was nice of them.

Missed NCIS.

But what the hey. Had to leave work early today too to get some glaucoma testing (to see how good/not my peripheral vision is). The last test they do is at 4:00 (some super-duper machine is involved) and so I left work at 3:00--not sure how bad the traffic would be. Got there just in time. Apologized to boss two times for leaving (this doesn't happen a lot, honest) and he didn't say anything. Oh-oh.

The issue is a big big presentation I'm putting on tomorrow for something that he's leading. The troops and I incorporated all of his comments on the work to be presented by noon, he had one more set of comments and both of them were working on it as I left. Doing their usual great job.

I am soooooo proud of them!!

Two of them (my troops) complained about The Witch giving them things to do (they don't report to her), and her (the Witch's) lead troop guy also asked for advice on how to deal with her. She rattles him so bad that it's affecting him at home and at work--and he is a steady, good natured and calm guy. Talked to NBG (the Boss) about all of it. He was to talk to Witch's lead guy this aft and her probably later. Then he had to go out. Asked me to call M and let him know that the job is a 'go', and that he (NBG) needs to talk to HIS boss as a final step to clear things. Which should go perfectly. M is on a course so I left him voice mail messages.

Am very excited about things progressing, not at all happy about all the medical appointments (or the Boss' reaction to them), VERY glad about M.

So here we are at the end of Wednesday. Sure hope things go fine tomorrow. It's pretty sure that it will, but you never know. Am just so glad that those folks are behind me. M's walking into a pretty sweet deal. He'll be able to handle the Witch too. NBG hates stuff like that and I don't blame him. She yells at HIM too. Weirdo (her).

Today is Lou's birthday, we found out by mistake. Happy BD, Lou!!!

OK off to post another joke. Don't like to post two in one night but this one's hilarious..hope you like it, hope you're all happy, warm and well...and working for the weekend!!!



Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Brothers In Arms

Thanks Vic for this one:

Subject: Troops
>>>> A squadron of Canadian troops were marching north of Khandahar when >they came upon a Taliban insurgent badly injured and unconscious. Nearby, >on the opposite side of the road, was a Canadian soldier in a similar but >less serious state.

>>>> The soldier was conscious and alert. As first aid was given to both >men, the soldier was asked what had happened. The soldier reported:
>>>> "I was heavily armed and moving north along this highway and coming >south was that heavily armed Taliban insurgent. Seeing each other we both >took cover. I called to him that Osama bin Laden was a miserable low-life, >scumbag, and he yelled back that Paul Martin is a rich, good-for-nothing, >lying, windbag.">>>>

"We were standing there shaking hands when a truck hit us."

Monday, November 21, 2005

A repeat but gotta love it

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Swing On A Star

Can't get this song out of my head....especially the part "...or would you rather be a mule?".

Why? Beats me.

How are ya tonight world? The U.S. is working its way into Thanksgiving (some of us celebrate it twice lol) and best of all wishes to you all!

My messages got through the spam filters except for two of the four (or was it five) came out garbled. When I read my home e mail from work, ditto (garbled). When I got home, read perfectly. Sent it again tonight, will put it on a flippin' disc and bring it in on Wednesday.

Not Tuesday.

Tuesday is (DA DA DUNNNNNN) the DENTIST!!! Again!!!

The entire ummm short deadline bit may be off because of something that happened on the other side of the country on Friday. Which is great for me and frankly for everyone except the Friday crowd.

Cool part is the troops. They asked for a meeting, set out some damn smart questions and asked if they could do exactly what I was going to ask them to do. Man I couldn't be prouder of them if I was their mom (well, OK you know what I mean). Very smart, proactive bunch there. Caught on quick, work fast...man. Am in awe of them.

Other stuff's moving right along too. Including yet another crisis inside another one. Used to close programs (e.g. word, WP, Excel) by clicking on the X in the upper right hand corner. Where I work now, if you do that, the systems think that you still have the document open no matter how many times you reboot. Learned this the hard way today when I had to create some rationale (for $s) inside a form my computer wasn't set up to handle and I kept X'ing out of it. The poor Help desk, think they're afraid of my voice now. Not that I was mean or anything, just took them a while to figure out what I'd done wrong. Anyway deadline got met, now know a bit more how to do what I do. Close the doc, then exit the program.

It's rough feeling stupid at 53.

Mom still doing fine, Sis too. Little Bro called Mom, he's OK. Bigger Bro OK too.
Didn't get to see Harry Potter due to work but will, and everyone I've talked to so far likes it.

No snow but it's cold. Well, cold compared to summer. In Ottawa terms it's still pretty mild out there. You can just smell 'election' in the air.

Am dead beat after the long night last night, so will call it quits for now. Tomorrow am not likely to be on due to dentist stuff (oh joy oh bliss). Will catch up with you later, world!

Look out for those dentist guys....Bridg

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam etc.

So world, wanted to do work on Saturday (well not really but had to). My version of Word wouldn't let me edit a @#% thing. So had to go and get the software. Stores don't open in this burg until 11 on Sundays. OK I can wait.

Got the software, it installed funny, had to re-do it (thank YOU, Bill Gates!). We are way past noon by now. The work is fairly complex and it's in an area Bridg is somewhat, but not expertly, familiar with. Struggle through the first of five sets of this stuff (about 15 pages each, 8 point font) and finally finished. Mailed it. OH NO!

The computer gurus decide it's spam!!!

I feel like that John Merrick--I AM NOT A SPAMIMAL!!!

Found that if you send it twice, either they don't tell you it bounced again or it goes through.

Struggled through the second document. Is it getting easier? Nope.

Off to mail that one.

Yep you guessed it, spam!

Think it went through on second try.

Am now sitting here wondering if I'm spinning my wheels in spam-land or if it's gone through. No way to tell until Monday.

Sort of like typing with a blindfold on.

In the meantime, it's cold, grey, and night's falling.

Hope that you're safe, warm and not dealing with Spamalot, Gang!!

Buenos noches,

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Somewhere Down The Crazy River

courtesy of: http://theband.hiof.no/lyrics/somewhere_down_the_crazy_river.html
Somewhere Down The Crazy River
by J.R.Robertson. Album: Robbie Robertson © 1987 Medicine Hat Music

Yeah, I can see it now
The distant red neon shivered in the heat
I was feeling like a stranger in a strange land
You know where people play games with the night
God, it was too hot to sleep
I followed the sound of a jukebox coming from up the levee
All of a sudden I could hear somebody whistling
Fromright behind me
I turned around and she said
"Why do you always end up down at Nick's Cafe?"
I said "I don't know, the wind just kind of pushed me this way."
She said "Hang the rich."
Catch the blue train
To places never been before
Look for me
Somewhere down the crazy river
Somewhere down the crazy river
Catch the blue train
All the way to Kokomo
You can find me
Somewhere down the crazy river
Somewhere down the crazy river
Take a picture of this
The fields are empty, abandoned '59 Chevy
Laying in the back seat listening to Little Willie John
Yea, that's when time stood still
You know, I think I'm gonna go down to Madam X
And let her read my mind
She said "That Voodoo stuff don't do nothing for me."
I'm a man with a clear destination
I'm a man with a broad imagination
You fog the mind, you stir the soul
I can't find, ... no control
Catch the blue train
To places never been before
Look for me
Somewhere down the crazy river
Somewhere down the crazy river
Catch the blue train
All the way to Kokomo
You can find me
Somewhere down the crazy river
Somewhere down the crazy river
Wait, did you hear that
Oh this is sure stirring up some ghosts for me
She said "There's one thing you've got to learn
Is not to be afraid of it."
I said "No, I like it, I like it, it's good."
She said "You like it now
But you'll learn to love it later."
I been spellbound - falling in trances
I been spellbound - falling in trances
You give me shivers - chills and fever
I been spellbound - somewhere down the crazy river

Just heard this on the radio and had to post it for y'all, world. Hope your weekend's going great? Mine's a bit frenetic. Am trying to do work but can't find the product code for the Microsoft Office package that I bought. It's bad enough to even think about working at this hour, without having the tools to do it! Might bite the bullet and go into work tomorrow (UGH).

Am so focussed on work am not worthmuch for bloggging tonight, just wanted to pop in and say hi.


Hugs, Bridg

Little Old Lady From Pasedena

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Friday, November 18, 2005

Lost In Love

Lost In Love
(Graham Russell)
courtesy of: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Lost-In-Love-lyrics-Air-Supply/379728FFC136B4C34825686C000B8270

I realize the best part of love is the thinnest slice
And it don't count for much
but I'm not letting go
I believe there's still much to believe in
So lift your eyes if you feel you can
Reach for a star and I'll show you a plan
I figured it out
What I needed was someone to show me
You know you can't fool me
I've been loving you too long
It started so easy
You want to carry on
Lost In love and I don't know much
Was I thinking aloud and fell out of touch?
But I'm back on my feet and eager to be what you wanted
So lift your eyes if you feel you can
Reach for a star and I'll show you a plan
I figured it out
What I needed was someone to show me

You know you can't fool me
I've been loving you too long
It started so easy
You want to carry on

You know you can't fool me
I've been loving you too long
It started so easy
You want to carry on
Now I'm lost,
lost in love,
lost in love, lost in love
Now I'm lost, lost in love, lost in love, lost in love
Lost in love, lost in love, lost in love
Lost in love, lost in love, lost in love

Happy Friday everyone! Ca marches?
This day was the most insanely busy of all insanely busy days. Have to work this weekend (couldn't bring myself to do it last night). Bet Lou a litre of wine that I won't do it again (that she knows about)!

Very glad to get home in one piece. It didn't snow much here but enough to become black ice. Saw at leat 5 accidents on the way into work (it's a 20 minute drive) including a dandy where a schoolbus killed a traffic light standard. The standard was bent like a W. No one hurt from the looks of it. Then over the day, the snow melted. By tonight it froze again.


For some idiotic reason, opened the cupboard under the cooktop (stove) tonight. Noticed that a tomato can leaked black stuff, which ran into some flour that I didn't know was there.

As I cleaned that stuff up (it is damn hard to kneel or get up from the floor these days), found ANOTHER bag of flour which had been gnawed open.



From the looks of it, just one.

Spent a few hours cleaning that mess up. Had talk with Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe. Naturally she won't EAT mice, but the least she could do is SCARE one! Hope she paid attention but I doubt it, if history is any predictor.

Had a whole bunch of emergencies, real ones, that started from some of the dumbest ideas you've ever heard. This place is pretty underfunded...so that when things land on your desk although they started out warm, they are HOT. Didn't want to bother the troops with it because I turned them loose on a project after we'd brainstormed about it this a.m. Hope they liked that, they looked as if they did. Then got sent to a 3 hour meeting I knew nothing about and to which I contributed very little. Felt like a grade A idiot. Also got there 1/2 hour early. Was replacing someone else, who told me the wrong start time. It took 20 minutes to get to where the meeting was. At least it ended early.

Have this idea about meetings: if they aren't over in an hour or less, something is royally screwed up and it's usually gonna be very painful. Such is life.

Called M on my way to that meeting today, because he is on a retirement course next week for 4 days. Made him promise not to get any ideas about retiring just because he'll be on this course. He agreed (laughing his head off) not to retire for at least 2 years. Told him that we (I) am doing enough work for two people and there is no way he can retire yet! Mentioned this to NBG (he's out of town and called twice) and think he liked the idea of getting M here like yesterday. He also had a simple, fast solution to something that was threatening to drive me the way that NBL went. That man is GOOOOOOOD, let me tell you!!

Am now feeling guilty about the mice not having anything to eat. No kidding.

Is this a worry mood? Think so.

Hey is Russell Crowe bothering anyone? The Yahoo system I use is now flashing news up before I can log in. All it is doing is being irritating to see this stuff. RC throwing stuff (petulant little boy). Robert Blake held accountable (well duh).

Have got to stop reading this stuff....

Is anyone else seeing Harry Potter? Am definitely going tomorrow dragging Mom and Sis too. My grandmother (Mom's mom) had read all the Lord of the Rings books before the age of 90. My mom shows every sign of being as cool at least as far as HP goes. I'm proud of her.

OK no more ranting. Off to blog hop.

Happy weekend, everyone!!


Thursday, November 17, 2005

You Put A Little Light In My Life

Yay ELO!

Hi world, this is going to be a quickie. Working ce soir or trying to. Harumph. Could not get anything done with the troops out of town or on course, NBG out of town too and the tasks falling into my lap. This is a conspiracy to make sure that my work doesn't get done and it's super high profile important. Frustrating day.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh well. the kids are helping, bless their hearts.

M is excited about coming here. Just got the strangest feeling that that won't happen but it'll be OK. Wonder what that's all about. Oh right I know, his retirement course next week. Took it a few years ago. Booooo-ring.
More people things going on (calming them, mostly). Might be turning out to be a manager despite myself. Oh well, time will tell (all).

Had someone in tonight to give me a quote on installing some kind of gutter guard. I expected a rate of as much as $1K. It of course was higher but not much. $1220 only if I signed tonight (forget it!). The guy hemmed and hawed, did tons of testimonials, etc. and run-downs of the others. I kept explaining that I have a principle about making on the spot decisions. He kept trying to break that down including the dreaded 'pause'. I'm becoming impervious to manipulation and in fact resent that he even tried.

THey probably do have the best technology on the market but their sales approach SUCKETH!

Left here empty handed.

Am I the only one who doesn't like high pressure sales? He even pointed out that I could change my mind in 10 days under Ontario law and that their contracts highlight that.

Yah, I"m an idiot and never heard of cooling off laws.

*shaking head*

Well, better dip into the work a little, folks so this is short & sweet. Happy Thursday!!! Happy first snow, O-town!

Winnipeg you have my sincere sympathies....(((hug)))


Once In A Lifetime Shot: Polar Bear and Brave Guy

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Once In A lifetime Shot: Lazy Leopard

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Once In A Lifetime Shot: Kitty and Eglet

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Once In A Lifetime Shot: Elk and Kitty

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Bobbitt Family Update

In a recent Channel 4 news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago.

Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage.

The husband is reported to be in serious,

but stable condition,

and Louella has been charged with . . . . . .

A Misdawiener!

OH, don't groan. You know darn well you're going to send this on tosomebody


Thank you Peter!!!

The following message contains some new information that was justreleased to most doctor's offices, health centers and pharmacies.

Please copy these early signs of bird flu and share with your friends and familymembers. Be pro-active, safe and healthy.

The Center for Disease Control has released this list of symptomsofbird flu. If you experience the following, seek immediate medical treatment:
1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to shit on someone's windshield

Oldie But Goodie

>>An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost
>>everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that
>>could move apart and then slide back together again.

>>>>The boy asked, "What is this Father?"

>>>>The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have
>>never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

>>>>While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old
>>lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a
>>button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small
>>room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small
>>circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued
>>to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began
>>to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a
>>gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.

>>>>The father said quietly to his son...
>>>>"Go get your mother."

Hillbilly (Muskrat) Love

Hillbilly (Muskrat) Love


Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Your Song

Your Song
Elton John
courtesy of: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/e/elton-john/46480.html

It’s a little bit funny-- this feeling inside
I’m not one of those who can easily hide-
I don’t have much money but if I did
I’d buy a big house where we both could live
If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show
I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one’s for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind
that I put down into words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they’ve got me quite cross
But the sun’s been quite kind while I wrote this song
It’s for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind
that I put down into words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

Hola world how are you tonight?

Have to do the paperwork, NBG has to check with his boss, but M's got a job and it's the one I am acting in (this is NBG's latest idea and it is fantastic). Am ECSTATIC about this (hate managing), and I get to work for M again AND keep coaching the kids. Plus I know that NBG's happy with my work in the same job, so this isn't because he's unhappy with me (he is worried about M because the people where he works are very ivory-tower academic. He wants to make sure that M gets/can do operational stuff). He asked if I would be OK with that and of course I said yes (yes yes yes!!!).

NBL's mom died last night (this is a year from hell for her), so heaven knows when she'll be back. I'm guessing not before Christmas. But when she does, she'll go into the job that I thought M was going into. It's easier and we all can do it if she has more health issues. Plus you really need extensive people networks to do that job halfway competently. I talked one of the kids there into not leaving yesterday. She's the only one at working level who's been here more than 6 months.


The one witch has driven many people away and the place's chaos sure doesn't help. Poor NBG wants a cohesive group. Me too. Now that I'm older (oh so much older), see the value of stability/helping others grow instead of chasing ummm new stuff/stimulation. So it's very unlikely that I"m going to take off on him. Plus people usually like working with me and same with M (he has a list of folks who want to work with him). So I think we can help NBG a lot here at least as far as retaining staff goes.

Only one of the kids knows about this M being the new boss, and her concern was that she'd still get to work with me. Isn't that ADORABLE? Of course the answer's yes, I just won't have to do all the meeting and political correctness stuff that goes with managing. Well sort of goes with managing.

M is happy and trying to be cautious (until the paperwork is signed, but he's greasing the skids where he is now for the approvals to flow). The troops are happy and learning/producing their heads off and it's all good stuff. No, VERY good stuff. Am meeting more and more folks and they are all easy to work with it's amazing. No infighting, backstabbing etc. (yet), or at least not to the extent there was in the other place.

On the other hand there is chaos like you would not believe.

It's pervasive.

If nothing else, that's gonna get under control.

More good news (can you stand this)--have lost weight. Significant bunches (pants are falling off). Cool. Not really trying either and the limping stopped too. Got a few Christmas presents yesterday (I mean bought, not received).

OK this is too good....hmmmmmmm. Can't believe it. Had snow tires on before it snowed and they weren't umm bald; today got my first flu shot. Mom's happy and active, Sis is too, Bro's into new mischief with his better half (yet another canteen this one licensed). This kind of peace/looking forward is unheard of (for yours truly). Cannot get over how much life has changed in two months.

And am so very eternally grateful for it too. To everyone involved. NBG, NBL, Pauly, my references...God...you name it.

Not that the job is by any means done. There's S and Lou to look after too.

A shrink I saw a long time ago said that I had lots of kids that I didn't give birth to.

Now I know what she means, lol.

Sorry am blithering again. Mind is going a million miles a minute.

Really really wish I could say where I work, you guys would freak. Oh well.

Want/Hope/Wish that the same kinds of things are and keep happening for you. Especially Raven, Robyn, WC, Undies and Zombieslayer (each of you is going through such major metamorphoses and all at the same time). Not to leave anyone out, sorry if I have.

Major hugs all around,


Tuesday, November 15, 2005

It's Alright

Loved the Travelling Willburries (or however you sp ell the name). Did they ever make a CD and if so, WHO is hiding it?

Hi world! Just popped in to update ya on M's interview.

They have a deal. His pay for the rest of the fiscal year is coming from my budget and I have just enough to do it. Think they hit it off. New Boss Guy would have liked more experience, but went for it (pending reference checks of course); I think M liked him too. They spent quite some time at lunch (good sign). Colleagues liked him. He's very handsome (we are a mostly female group and boy did folks notice) and a good guy. They picked up on those two things. Once he's here they'll find out how smart he is. He was happy (cautiously), I sure was and think New Boss Guy was. Hoped for more of a rave review but am very glad that they agree that there's a fit. Let's put it this way, I have a weird assortment of experience (in about 5 areas) and it fits this group exactly. M has experience in 1 in depth--much more than I do--and 1/2 in the one he'll eventually work in and another 1 area (managing).

Am not nuts about managing but heard this a.m. that New Boss Guy said that 'she's awesome and is doing a fantastic job' about me. Took my f'ing breath away I kid you not. Those were the exact words and will never forget them. What was even better was that the person that he said that to (another more senior one of 'the kids' who wants to join the group but can't--has job hopped a bit too much--) was waiting for me to come into the building this a.m. to tell me this and was grinning ear to ear. THAT was a bonus and a big one. This guy doesn't get excited. It was so.damn.sweet.

When New Boss Lady comes back M and I will be colleagues for a few months, then M gets promoted into another job (the 1/2 content one). If NBL doesn't come back, well, we will still work as colleagues anyway, and NBG's alternative idea was to put M where I am now (i.e. I would not have to manage anymore) and NBL into another job in our group, same level and me in a parallel one working in a related field. I replied that this would be fine with me, anywhere he wants to put me (there are 3-4 options) I am very happy to be in (and so far am working my big white *ss off in). If he wants me to manage, like now, OK I'll manage. Tekkie work? Even better.

Hope this happy happy joy joy stuff isn't making you all sick to read. Am just very happy, ecstatic that NBG is happy, over the moon that M has a job and better, has a job with me/us/here. No I do NOT want to be M's boss, but when he was my boss he shared management with me and of course I will do absolutely no less with him (and the others for that matter). He's more cut out for this stuff than I am. Emotional-wise. I mentioned that time period when I called him several times a day for reassurance (it felt like my fingernails were being pulled out by hot tongs by Mr. B, going in to work was a real major effort, etc.). He said that he is now where I was then. OOOOOHH did I get that. OK time to help M, time to help the org where I work (and this is gonna be great), just time to move.

We talked for an hour before his lunch. I briefed him as much as humanly possible. You should have seen his eyes. They just danced and sparkled and he grinned the whole time. I'm happy here and he liked seeing it. Plus it's damn interesting. Then he and NBG went off to lunch, NBG tossing back a grin at Lou and I (we cracked up) as they walked away from us.

I really really really hope that this comes through. First, we need his help in my area. Second, he's a real asset especially managerially (the people side) that NBG feels weak on. Third, I want to help both M and NBG and am sure that this is the way to do it.

Ohhhh how I hope. Am now back on terra firma and calm. Did fall asleep by 2:00 which is a whole lot better than the last 4 or so days.

Do any of you do this? Worry so much about folks you care about? Feel their joy/pain? Take action to help them? I do. M, well OK he's unique but not that unique from others (mostly junior support folks or starting policy folks, other more senior folks), in several very senior cases. Just can't stand to see good talent and people go to waste. Someone reached out to me, twice, to save/develop me with no agenda other than to pass on their knowledge. Kind of feel that this is a sacred trust, from this one man in particular (a lovely friend who died about 3 years ago suddenly), to pass on. It just pours out of the core, like it did from him.

Is that what 'paying it forward' is? There's no thought of benefit or obligation or power (icky stuff) involved, just 'the right thing to do'.

OK sorry this must sound like preaching. Am just thinking out loud here. Lou need the same kind of helping hand but I know absolutely nothing about the fields she was in to help. Just thought of a contact or two tho who might be able to point me at something.

OK enough rambles. This has been the M update for Tuesday Nov. 15 at 10:25.

This is your reporter, Bridget Jones, signing off.

And NOT sliding down a flag pole!!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Cuban Cathedral Night

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Cuban Cathedral Day

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Well I Hope You're Feeling Better

I bet most of you, perhaps even Raven and Tshsmom, don't know this one! It's a rather obsecure cut from Abraxas (Santana). The only reason I ever listened to it was that it preceded Samba Pa Ti (wore that cut white on two LPs) on the album (remember albums??).

How are you world?

It's supposed to snow, rain and freezing rain tomorrow.

HA! Says Bridg. It was warm today. Didn't wear a jacket (well that's normal, but today didn't need one either).

Don't use my camera nearly enough to remember how to use the software to download the pics, but for Zombieslayer's sake, I did. Took photos of the cathedral paintings and will post separately. The camera appears to take huge pics but these two turned out, yay!

Murray (my late love) used to say that he was busier than a one-armed paper-hanger. Today I found out what that means. At one point 4-5 diff folks needed to see me all at the same time. Meetings wall-to-wall but all of it was good, actually great, if you know what I mean. The troops are still happy, work is tearing right along, so far meeting deadlines and the troops are learning (man those guys are little sponges), which is why I'm here in the first place. A third new body wants to come to our group and M's interview is tomorrow BRIDG IS REALLY EXCITED!

No have not been hitting the bottle, just am really happy and excited about tomorrow...love my job, love my colleagues. (well OK one is a witch but three others are angels and the troops are just...sorry for this word, adorable and smart as hell)....still hearing from the old ones who I love with all my heart...does it get better? Sure doesn't feel that way.

Am officially entering into senior-hood. Today yet another person walked up, said 'hi I remember you from blah blah blah' and I could swear that I'd never seen them before and WORSE, forgot her name 5 minutes later.


Me, not her.


That using heat on arthritis worked like a charm. No pain at all today. Not at ALL. No limping, yadda yadda yadda. Didn't even realize it till the end of the day. Another YAY! Lately have been walking like Steppin-Fetchit (ummm can't think of an equivalent for the 99% of you who haven't seen SF. Chester on Gunsmoke? Frankenstein?).

Last night was the same as the last few. 4:00 came and went with me wide awake. This time had to get up at 7:00 and did. Don't even feel tired now, which is scary.

Am more than a little bit suspicious that this had to do with New Boss (guy) being grumpy on Wednesday (I was off Thurs and Fri), memories of Mr. B rampaging, not taking naproxen, and Heaven knows what else. Oh yah right full moon (Bridget howls in the background).

So today New Boss (guy) was all smiles. He was in a bad mood on Wednesday, I didn't know it and walked right into a major bad mood (it is very rare that I have those. It's also very hard to HAVE them if you are on Paxil). He was back to his usual sweet and smart self, and asked me 'how things are going'. Have learned that's code for 'are you OK with me?'. That makes me grin. He denies being a people person but he's extremely sensitive.

Cool. It's a double-edged sword, but cool.

Mom doing fine too. We searched high and low for a restaurant to go to yesterday. The one I wanted to go to was closed up and gone away. Same for choices two and three. Now we go out fairly frequently. This was odd. Choice 4 had been good in the past but STUNK to high heavens and it was (gulp) almost $80. For really awful food.

It wasn't assertive of us/me but we just finished the food and won't go back there again. Ever. I hate fuss/confrontation, but also don't like patronizing bad business. The service was good (i.e. it wasn't the wait staff's fault) but...dat's all folks.

OK will go now and try to post the cathedral pics/paintings. They're side-by-side in my office. Just love the liveliness of the colors. Not sure the camera caught enough of it, but hey. You probably can't see it in the pics but there are traces of gold (and birds) in the sky of the day painting, and silver with stars in the night one.

Ciao world. See ya tomorrow!!


Sunday, November 13, 2005

I Did It Again Last Night

Stayed sleepless, that is! Even with meds took until 4:00 something to get to sleep. This is ridiculous. The raking, heaven knows, was a work out, it isn't lack of exercise. No naps either.

Oh well, sooner or later....Spent the whole morning today luxuriating (watching Pirates of the Caribbean again). MAN that was a cool movie, huh world? It's 2:43 and am just getting dressed (well not right at this moment). It looks a heck of a lot like snow out there, but nothing yet (thank heavens). Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe is napping downstairs, and I get to do all the household stuff I didn't do yesterday. Actually don't mind doing it, and if it doesn't get done it bugs me. Less hassle to get it over with.

The lawn looks a lot better with no leaves, although the leaves killed all the grass. More to do in spring, I guess. The heat treatment on my knee works wonders. Someone cleaned out my gutters of leaves. Will get them that winter bouquet thing but don't know which neighbor it was (am guessing Emmi).

*BING* light goes on over head...since I've been using heat, have not taken naproxen and that's also when the sleeplessness hit. Hmmmmm. Well bod will just have to get used to it. Can't keep taking that stuff forever. Don't know what kind of damage it does (sure that most meds hurt as well as help) but I've been taking 300 mgs/day over the daily max (1200) for weeks.

OOps just remembered have to get gas in the car too. Cha-ching. Has anyone noticed the price going down? Me neither. Were there more hurricanes that I missed? How long does it take to get one back on line? Something tells me that the oil companies would not be all that slow to do so.

Now Bridg, stop being cynical.

OK off to do laundry, linen/litter changing, that kind of stuff. Happy Sunday, All!


Saturday, November 12, 2005


Artist: Stevie Wonder Lyrics
Song: Overjoyed
Courtesy of: http://www.lyrics007.com/Stevie%20Wonder%20Lyrics/Overjoyed%20Lyrics.html

Over time,
I've building my castle of love
Just for two,
though you never knew you
were my reason
I've gone much too far
for you now to say
That I've got to throw my castle away

Over dreams,
I have picked out a perfect come true
Though you never knew it
was of you I've been dreaming
The sandman has come from too far away
For you to say come back some other day
And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
over loved,
over me

Over hearts,
I have painfully turned every stone
Just to find,
I had found what I've searched to discover
I've come much too far for me now to find
The love that I've sought can never be mine
And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
over loved, over me

And though the odds say improbable
What do they know
For in romance
All true love needs is a chance
And maybe with a chance you will find
You too like I
over loved,
over you,
over you

Isn't that a terrific song? Really like Stevie Wonder (except for Sir Duke)'s material. Got this idea for this one watching the Saturday Night Live special on the 80s. Good show. It's had its ups and downs but MAN in the 70s and 80s they ruled. Do any of you remember Killer Bees? Samurai tailor? Land Shark?

Cool. As well as Second City, Monty Python and other silliness. It was a great time.

Tried to sleep without meds and gave up at 3:00. Took until 4:30 or so for the meds to kick in. Think I'm going to have to do this over a vacation (say, Christmas) instead of a long weekend. The weird thing is that I woke up at 8:30 and wasn't the least bit sleepy. Even now (took meds, I am NOT going through another long night). Noticed it's almost a full moon..wonder if there's a connection?

Picked up Mom from her hair appointment and drove like a maniac (no that isn't my norm) to the restaurant we wanted to go to. They close in mid-afternoon. We thought at 2:00. Fortunately we were wrong, they close at 3:00. Had the best lunch and cutest waiter ever. The restaurant's called Cora's. It's a chain, originally from (I think) Montreal. There is fruit in almost everything, of all kinds, all of it excellent no matter what time of year you visit. They use sweet cream as well as whipped cream, and the food is unbelievably good. Not high priced either. If you haven't been to a Cora's but get the opportunity, by all means go. You'll be amazed at the high quantity and excellent quality.

Anyhow, after that went grocery shopping. Spent an enormous amount of money but a good part of that was getting a Christmas turkey/stuffing. And two gigantic sets of wintery (evergreens, pine cones, big red bows)potted hanging plants (one for Mom, one for me) to hang up in our front yards. Sobey's had these lovely things outside and being the financially irresponsible person I am, had to get one for each of us.

Found out who was pounding on the door when I was stuck in the washroom on Friday. My sweet cute neighbor (his mother is a year younger than I am!) two doors down, volunteering to rake my leaves. Since he didn't get hold of me, he just did the lady next door's and I did mine. Man that's more exercise than it used to be/looks like. Have had dumb little chest pains ever since (that was before lunch with Mom, 1:30, so I'm sure it's no biggie).

Spent the morning prior to raking with an ankle wrapped in ice (15 minutes an hour) and a serious heat pad wrapped all around my knee/upper thigh on the same leg. Actually didn't limp for a few minutes. Is it weird that the heat (and ice) did far more to kill pain than any of the strong meds I've been taking? What's the story there? Will be doing some internet searches on that one.

How'd you like the dusting post? Really liked that one.

Well hang in there folks. Enjoy the weekend, rest, relax...with family, friends and beloved pets if you can.

Hugs, Bridg

Dust, Glorious Dust--Clean It If You Must (sung to "Food Glorious Food)

Again, thanks tshsmom! I don't know why the pictures that were with the original e mail didn't copy, but the words are great all by themselves!

Remember...a layer of dust protects the Wood beneath it.

"A house becomes a home when you can write "I love you" on the furniture."

I can't tell you how many countless hours that I have spent CLEANING!

I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect -- "in case someone came over." Then I realized one day that no-one came over; they were all out living life and having fun!
Now, when people visit, I find no need to explain the "condition" of my home. They are more interested in hearing about the things I've been doing while I was away living life and having fun. If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed this advice. Life is short. Enjoy it!

Dust if you must, but wouldn't it be better
to paint a picture or write a letter,
bake a cake or plant a seed,
ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there's not much time,
with rivers to swim and mountains to climb,
music to hear and books to read,
friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world's out there
with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair,
a flutter of snow, a shower of rain.
This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
old age will come and it's not kind.
And when you go -- and go you must --
you, yourself will make more dust!

Share this with all the wonderful people in your life!


It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
that tells what kind of life you have lived.

Ladies' Night

Thanks tshsmom! Needed these! Right, ladies?

Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note: One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

Friday, November 11, 2005

Do You Believe In Magic?

Hi world, hope your Remembrance Day/Armistice Day was good?

Am very grateful to those who fought to maintain and protect our way of life. But hate, absolutely abhor, anything that has to do with war. Have ever since I was old enough to remember. Even cowboy movies. Guess it's the conflict bit...

It was cold here again but sunny. It's also a statutory holiday, which is great. Someone pounded on the front door at 9:30 but I was already up (and stuck in the bathroom, so they didn't get an answer). Had to go back to THAT pharmacy. It was fun, let me tell you. Once again, they had difficulty finding an order I'd refilled by phone 5 days ago. The druggist ignored me. Cannot wait to see the end of my prescriptions there, let me tell you. Olga was there too but thank Heavens someone else was on cash.

But that was later in the day. Got to spend the morning reading the paper in the living room with the Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe curled up against my leg, purring and swishing her tail around. Sweet!

Also sent M something to read to help him get ready for Tuesday (his personal chemistry test).

Like some of you said on my last post--oh goody get to go back to the dentist AGAIN and pay the REST of the bill in a few days. Total is $2300 or something like that, of which our plan pays 45%. The dentist told me to 'baby' the teeth he'd worked on (yah right like I can see which ones were involved) and not to waterpik or floss (the two things they always nag/threaten me about? Yah those two) those teeth. Well, I saw something on a tooth near that area with stuff on it that looked like bread (you know, that white stuff) and took it off. How was I supposed to know that that was filling?

It was a tiny speck, think it was a small cavity and have NO idea of what they're gonna tell me to do on Monday. Also had a large open sore on the gum that wasn't there when I went in. No wonder there was pain yesterday!

Boy can't wait to go back there.

Just like the drugstore.

Hmmmm. Bad karma? Maybe they're related to Mr. B or Olga? Yee godszooks.

Had some shopping to do today and after finishing that, Mom wanted a ride to the drugstore (my new drugstore). This is a bit harder than it sounds because by that time I'd been to a few stores and couldn't take much more walking (if you read this blog and do dance or aerobics a lot, this is why you should stop those activities. Arthritis is a royal pain in the butt). But survived the whole thing, Mom's happy, I'm home (but sore). Some day I will learn to call Mom FIRST lol.

Also noticed (I forget how) that none of the smoke detectors were working. Figures, since I have lived here about 14 years and never replaced the batteries. So did that today. Funny thing is that one doesn't take batteries. Here I was, balanced (more or less) on a chair squinting into this thing looking for the battery place, with about 20 years' worth of dust falling into my face (am not the first owner of the house), then decided to give it up and put the thing back into its holder.

Easier said than done. But finally did it. Am way too lazy to dust ceilings. Dust can stay there as long as it leaves me alone.

Much more stuff to do tomorrow, but tonight's for relaxing. Hope that you are doing the same, and that your lives are free of bad karma, Mr. Bs, G-men (S is calling him Mr. Canoe-Head. It fits too), Olgas and rain. And conflict. May they be full of good karma, furry kitties/puppies, sun, long weekends, good pals and great bosses.

Hugs, Bridg

Thursday, November 10, 2005

It's A New Day

Well, world, survived the dentist thing. The two halcion tabs did absolutely nothing. The cabbie was 100 years old, or so, which was good (nothing to worry about of course). Got there on time. Can you believe that? It's a 20 minute drive on a Saturday that took exactly an hour at 8:30 Friday morning. Coincidentally that's how long the appointment too. Was not asleep during the whole thing but at least the intravenous and nitrous kept me from bolting out of the chair (hate that drill, can't stand the look of the needles--everything about it gives me the creeps. And the machine that tracks heart rate and blood pressure is just annoying (beep beep beep). Used meditation to play around with my heart rate just for the fun of it. Worked.

The worst part is paying a 'partial payment' of $1,000 for that. Good thing I have overdraft.

So then they tried to make me nap afterwards. Nope, not happening, so I just went home in the cab with Mom. Again no probs. Have to go back for the permanent thingies in 10 days--they just have temps on now. And how it hurts, now that everything's worn off. Guess doing two at once on the same side is kinda asking for it.

Have been sleeping ever since until now and decided to post. Not as 'up' as normal but it'll get better. Can't wait to actually eat something lol.

All in all a pretty dull day. Oh yah, we had snow flurries while I was in the chair. Icing on the cake! But at least it didn't stick...

Hope your day was better in every way than mine, folks!! Keep warm!

Luv Bridg

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Party For Two

Billy Currington/Mark McGrath
courtesy of: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Party-For-Two-lyrics-Shania-Twain/200FD5577CB491CD48256F0900083473

Whoa!Huh! Huh!(Aww, Baby)
I'm having me a party(I don't think I can come)
Uh,uh, this ain't just any kind of party(Nah, I think I'll stay at home)
Uh, oh, no It's gonna be really, really hot(Startin' to sound good)
I'm gonna put you on the spot (Thinkin', maybe I should)
Yeah, there'll be lots of one on one(Guess I could be there)
Come on and join the fun(What should I wear?)
I'll tell you bout' it..

BRIDGE:It doesn't matter what you wear'
Cause it's only gonna beyou and me there
CHORUS:I'm having a party
A party for two
Ain't Invitin' nobody
Nobody but you
You'd be sexy in your socks(We could polish the floors)
In case that anybody knocks(Let's lock all the doors)
Yeah, all the things I'm gonna do(I'm gonna do with you)
I'm gonna try somethin' new(I wanna try that, too)
I tell you bout' it...

BRIDGE:(It doesn't matter)uh, uh(What I wear)
('Cause it's only gonna be)You and me there

CHORUS:I'm having a party
A party for two (yeah)
Ain't invitin' nobody
Nobody but you (yeah)
Yeah, you
BRIDGE 2:(I'm here) You're there
(That's all) we really need
(We're gonna) We're gonna party hearty
(Just) Just you and me(Don't) Don't think about it now
(Don't) Don't even doubt it now
(I'm inviting you to a) party for two(Whoa!)

[GUITAR SOLO]shake it, shake it(Come on baby!)
Aww, all the things I'm gonna do(I'm gonna do with you)
I'm gonna try somethin' new with you, boy(I wanna try it, too)
I'll tell you that it..

BRIDGE:It doesn't matter what you wear('Cause it's only gonna be)
It's only gonna be you and me(Awwwww, yeah)
[backing] I'm havin' a party(A little bitty party baby)
[backing] A party for twoIt's just me and you(That's right)
[backing] Invitin' nobobyI ain’t inviting anybody(Nobody baby)
[backing]nobody but youChorus (alternating voices, double lyrics)
Come on, Come on(Come on, Come on)Come on, Come on, Come on
(Come on, Come on, yeah)Come on, Come on(Come on, Come on)
Come on, Come on, Come on(Come on, Come on, yeah)
(Just you and me there)
That was great!(Let’s do it again!)

Hi world, how was Wednesday (or in my case, Friday)? It is frickin freezing here. Lots of rain, thunder but MAN it is snow time for sure. And every leaf on that stupid tree next door is in my rain gutters. Oh well, they had to go somewhere! Should get around to cleaning that stuff up sometime when it isn't raining.

Am back down to earth today about M. Hope I didn't overdo it getting all hyper. The person he'd be taking over for was hyper too when I talked to her about it(we are a lot alike). M's also working on a professional but out of the office project, and Issy, Pauly and I are working with him. That man takes on way too much and has NO idea of when to stop. I mean, here he is changing jobs and taking on a huge task.

Oh well, it's his life!

Lou and I went to the best Italian restaurant I've ever been to last night (fantastic food, top notch decor, quiet, well lit, stone building, not to bad prices). Yum. Tonight can't eat anything after 9:00, which is in 15 minutes. No biggie. Because of the dentist thing tomorrow. Guess you can tell that I really like being under the influence of that stuff. Would have made an awful addict--glad I never touched the stuff. The last few times (over 10 years) that they've put me under could still hear and feel the hammering (yes they use hammers, little ones), hearing teeth crumble, and the remarks you'd expect (like 'damn it shattered'). This time don't really want to hear that stuff. I was a biology major and know all too well what the visuals would be, even if I can't feel it. Yay let's hear it for 'better living through chemistry' (that is the old DuPont motto).

Got a lot done today. New Boss is behind in a lot of his deadlines, according to Lou, and she wasn't going to let him leave today without signing stuff. He was kind of snarly (sitting there, trapped in his office by a very fierce Lou), well not exactly snarly, just short, with me last thing today but Lou said that it was the worst day he'd ever had at work and he was tired. Sure hope she's right.

Heard from Pauly, which is always a treat, and Tina, who's a consultant I've worked with and am friends with, over the years. Those calls definitely made my day. Not that the day was bad to begin with, the folks around me are fantastic. And the Witch Lady (head of audit) was out of town too. Everyone was more relaxed and laid back.

So at least tonight's post is more ummm coherent? Have both feet on this planet?

Hope you all are well out there, world. Going blog-hopping tonight...Bridg