ROFL

Thoughts to ponder from Peter

>Life is sexually transmitted.
>>Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
>>Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use>the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
>>Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying>of nothing
.>>Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>>All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to>criticism.
>>Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a>substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
>>In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is>weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>>Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to>realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
>>I had amnesia once - or twice.
>>Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
>>All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
>>If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
>>What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?
>>They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
>>Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows>up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
>>Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
>>Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
>>What if there were no hypothetical questions?
>>One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
>>A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
>>I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
>>The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
>>Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
>>Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a>man who can't get his pants off.
>>It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
>>Is it my imagination or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?