Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Monday, August 22, 2005

ROFL

Thoughts to ponder from Peter

>Life is sexually transmitted.
>>Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
>>Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use>the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
>>Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying>of nothing
.>>Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>>All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to>criticism.
>>Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a>substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
>>In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is>weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>>Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to>realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
>>I had amnesia once - or twice.
>>Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
>>All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
>>If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
>>What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?
>>They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
>>Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows>up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
>>Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
>>Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
>>What if there were no hypothetical questions?
>>One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
>>A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
>>I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
>>The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
>>Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
>>Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a>man who can't get his pants off.
>>It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
>>Is it my imagination or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

12 Comments:

  • At 8/22/2005 06:23:00 PM, Blogger Storm said…

    I love it Bridget! That's so funny and so very true. :)

     
  • At 8/22/2005 06:54:00 PM, Blogger The Zombieslayer said…

    Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    Too cute.

    By the way, you're getting the blog spam now. :(
    It's weird because I have yet to get any today. (knocks on wood).

     
  • At 8/22/2005 06:58:00 PM, Blogger jeff jewett said…

    Nice Blog!
    Thanks for showing me yours. Ok now, stand back, I'm going to show you mine

    http://jeffjewett.blogspot.com/

     
  • At 8/23/2005 09:03:00 AM, Blogger Mel said…

    "They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them."

    Unfortunate, but I totally relate to this one.

    Thanks for the funnies!

     
  • At 8/23/2005 10:30:00 AM, Blogger cookie said…

    "One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people."

    Great list Bridget.

     
  • At 8/23/2005 11:30:00 AM, Blogger braindead said…

    haha.. thanks, those were really funny.

    and yea, u do seem to be gettin a lot of spam! strangely, i've never received spam yet.. not that i want them though.

    thanks again

     
  • At 8/23/2005 12:05:00 PM, Blogger Niccio Dartsmouth said…

    Ok now thats some funny stuff. thanks for the laughs.

     
  • At 8/23/2005 01:54:00 PM, Blogger bsoholic said…

    LOL Good ones!

    What if there were no hypothetical questions?

    That made my brain hurty. :)

     
  • At 8/23/2005 05:22:00 PM, Blogger jipzeecab said…

    I laughed at the "sidesaddle one".
    Here's a "free gift" from Google/blogspot.."word verification" now an option in your comment settings, designed to keep the "bot spammers" out.

     
  • At 8/23/2005 06:34:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Thank you Storm! Will keep the laughs coming....

    ZS MAN am I getting spam. Am actually starting to wonder about cooking the real thing (lol). Visions of that Monty Python skit keep pounding through my head...

    Thanks Jeff J! I will drop in on your blog too (deliberatelyl ignoring the pun but laughing her head off at it...)!

    Bridg

     
  • At 8/23/2005 06:56:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Mel, I am so gullible it hurts. Know exactly how you feel....

    thank you Andre, you still da man..

    Braindead, I'm going to take jipzeecab's notion and use that verification thing. Am getting tired of deleting the spasm I mean spam..

    Hey Niccio good to see you again (why do I feel like I should be holding a glass of wine?)

    Bsoholic, how did I know you'd like that line? Actually I thought you'd like the one jipzeecab liked. It's my fave too (men riding sidesaddle)...

    Hope you like tonight's jokes guys..and ladies!!

    Bridg

     
  • At 8/23/2005 08:01:00 PM, Blogger tshsmom said…

    THANKS for the tip jip, I just added word verification. Hopefully it'll help.

     

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