Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Rock N Roll Heaven

since not much happened today, here's a good funny one from Vic, world traveller:

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds."
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity......Send This joke To Someone To Make Them Smile.....It's Called Therapy.

Bridg p.s. doesn't #14 look do-able?

6 Comments:

  • At 8/01/2005 09:35:00 AM, Blogger Adrian said…

    I do almost ALL of those already... : )

     
  • At 8/01/2005 04:49:00 PM, Blogger bsoholic said…

    LOL, these are really funny. I have got to try and order a diet water. The confused look of the waiter/waitress would be priceless. #14 does indeed look do-able and would make a great photo for 5th Circle ! :)

     
  • At 8/01/2005 04:50:00 PM, Blogger bsoholic said…

    oops. hyperlink failed. oh well sorry bout that.

     
  • At 8/01/2005 07:52:00 PM, Blogger tshsmom said…

    I've done #17; it embarrassed the hell out of my kids! That's my motto: Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.

     
  • At 8/01/2005 08:01:00 PM, Blogger .: raven :. said…

    hilarious .. i've read various versions .. but these .. FUNNY.

     
  • At 8/01/2005 11:47:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Hi All, glad you liked them! Bsoholic and everyone else, please feel free to use them however you please.

    I like driving up to the Burger King window and asking for a lobster sub, or ordering beer. Usually throws the staff, but one guy was really smooth. Said that they were all out of lobster.

    Cool guy huh?

    Pround of you, Tshsmom. YOu're right ya know, one of life's pleasures is embarrassing the heck out of your kids while you're young enough to enjoy it...

    Rave LOVE the new look. Wow.

    Adrian, how COULD We know that you're a master at these things, lol???

    Bridg

     

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