Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Hey It COULD Have Happened!

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted crazy then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing?

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was nuts and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing ?"

I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her: " ..And where do you think you're going?"

( You're gonna love this..... )

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

We Love Quantas

Subject: FW: Quantis

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded by the maintenance engineers (marked with an M).

(By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
M: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
M:Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
M: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
M: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
M: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
M: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
M: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
M: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
M: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
M: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
M: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
M: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
M: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
M: Cat installed.

And the best one for last...

P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
M: Took hammer away from midget

I wanna work for Quantas

Heaven!

I'm thinking of the old song, but also FEEL that way! No pain for the first time in as long as I can remember. Wow. So THIS is how you guys normally feel, right? Awesome.

Went to physiotherapy tonight. First time in many years. As you all know too well, lots going wrong in knees, feet etc. Turns out there are several things going wrong (causing pain), and probably a heart thing on top of that. So I"m not imagining it. Also found out today I have to go for another heart test (PET redicium?). Don't know when or why other than my test results were 'Abby something' (abnormal. If you haven't seen Young Frankenstein, rent it. It's a hoot, and that's one of the lines).

Mom also had an m.d. appointment today. They said that the blood she lost was in her stomach ???? And didn't tell her what the cause was, only that she's in the beginning of a 6 to 8 week phase of getting better. I.am.worried. A lot. Put in a call to my uncle the doctor to see if he can shed any light on the subject.

Work is the same old same old. Finished the stuff the new boss gave me. More people are calling me to do work, and these guys don't want us to do the work. VERY glad to be leaving, the ethics here make Enron look like choirboys. Sooner or later this is going to hit the fan, and when it does, Mr. B will be long gone into retirement.

God, please get this guy, OK? Before he does much harm? I mean, more harm?


Yikes dinner's burning, cat making a hell of a racket. Later world...Bridg

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Stay Hungry (Twisted Sister)
Courtesy of http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/twistedsister/stayhungry.html

ARE YOU FEELING THE FIRE?
ARE YOU READY TO EXPLODE?
ARE YOUR DREAMS AND DESIRES
RIDING DOWN AN OPEN ROAD?
I'M LIKE A RUNAWAY
A HEART WITHOUT A HOME
OTHERS CAN LAUGH AND PLAY
I'LL FIGHT FOR EVERY INCH I TAKE
I'M DESPERATE TO THE BONE
STAY HUNGRY
FEEL THE FIRE
STAY HUNGRY
DON'T EXPLODE
STAY HUNGRYWITH DESIRE
STAY HUNGRY YOU'RE ALONE
BE THE HUNTER AND THE HUNTED
KEEP YOUR TARGET IN YOUR SIGHT
DON'T BE SIDE TRACKED OR SHUNTED
LET PRETENDERS FEEL YOUR BITE
AND IF YOU START TO SLIDE
NEVER SHOW YOU'RE WEAK
DON'T FEEL YOU'VE GOT TO HIDE
REMEMBER WHAT YOU'RE FIGHTING FOR
REMEMBER WHAT YOU SEEK
STAY HUNGRYFEEL THE FIRE
STAY HUNGRYDON'T EXPLODE
STAY HUNGRYWITH DESIRE
STAY HUNGRY YOU'RE ALONE
ALL RIGHT!IF YOUR FIRE IS FADEDAND YOU CAN'T FEEL IT NO MORE
IF YOU'RE TIRED AND OVERRATEDLET ME SHOW YOU THE DOOR
EXPECT NO SYMPATHY
THERE'S NONE TO BE HAD
OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE
THERE'S NO ROOM FOR THE WANNABEES.
THE HAS BEENS OR THE BAD
STAY HUNGRY
FEEL THE FIRE
STAY HUNGRY
DON'T EXPLODE
STAY HUNGRY
WITH DESIRE
STAY HUNGRY
YOU'RE ALONE
STAY HUNGRY
FEEL THE FIRE
STAY HUNGRY
DON'T EXPLODE
STAY HUNGRYWITH DESIRE
STAY HUNGRY YOU'RE ALONE

Needless to say there's always sympathy here, world. That song's been in my head all night. Hope you all are having a good night and had a great day,world? Including New Orleans, my/our prayers are with you.

Today was not half bad. Had a great deal of trouble waking up, made some brand-new mistakes in trying to fix yesterday's mistakes. I'm nothing if not imaginitive. But none of them very serious..

Marc is back with a bang. He has had a wonderful reception by all, including Mr. B (Marc is the one person Mr. B doesn't/hasn't reamed in our group. OH wait, actually Pauly and I are the only ones. The rest got sent away. The newer folks have been attacked yet except Issy.

It is depressingly predictible, but we all laugh at it.

Hey just lost this post and had to re-do it. Well, I am very tired. Did last week's and this week's laundry, tried to get things away from the storm drain (worried about flooding killing the treadmill), froze more of those berries. Mom's doing fine except fatigue, and she's seeing her doctor tomorrow aft about it. Tshsmom, I hope your mom is OK???

Oh yes, one more sign of the Apocalypse's nearness--Mr. B joked with me today.

Had to fight the fainting feeling....

May be MIA for a day or two and apologize in advance for that (will post jokes when I get them, tho). Am gonna be at the Psychic Fair, and sleeping.

Later, world! Hugs, Bridg

Monday, August 29, 2005

Smile and Show Your Dimples!

An expression of my great-grandmother's.

Here are two of today's jokes....enjoy!

> Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down
and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have
5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog
won would be entitled to dominate the world.> >

Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in
the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only
the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings,
which gave him all the milk.> >

After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had
ever seen. > >

Its cage needed steel bars that were 5" thick and nobody could get near
it. > >

When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange
looking animal. > It was a 9 foot long Dachshund. > >

Everyone felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog
could possibly last 10 seconds with the Afghanistani dog.

> > When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage, and
slowly waddled over towards Osama's dog.

> > Osama's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American
> Dachshund---but when it got close enough to bite, the Dachshund opened

its mouth and consumed Osama's dog in one bite.> >

There was nothing left of his dog at all. > >

Osama came up to Bush, shaking his head in disbelief, "We don'tunderstand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for5 years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."

> > "That's nothing," said Bush. > >

"We had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a wiener dog."
***********************************************
A physician claimed that the following are actual commentsmade by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing a rectalexam:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no manhas gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that myhead is not up there."
***************************

Can't Hurry Love

Can't Hurry Love

(b. holland/l. dozier/e. holland, jr.) Courtsey of http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/diana-ross/40097.html
I need love, love
To ease my mind
I need to find, find
someone to call mine
But mama said
You can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don’t come easy
It’s a game of give and take
You can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes
But how many heartaches
Must I stand before I find a love
To let me live again
Right now the only thing
That keeps me hangin’ on
When I feel my strength, yeah
It’s almost gone
I remember mama said:
You can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don’t come easy
It’s a game of give and take
How long must I wait
How much more can I take
Before loneliness will cause my heart
Heart to break?
No I can’t bear to live my life alone
I grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that i, I can’t go on
These precious words keeps me hangin’ on
I remember mama said:You can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don’t come easy
It’s a game of give and take
You can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes
No, love, love, don’t come easy
But I keep on waiting
Anticipating for that soft voice
To talk to me at night
For some tender arms
To hold me tight
I keep waiting
I keep on waiting
But it ain’t easy
It ain’t easy
But mama said:You can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes
You can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don’t come easy
It’s a game of give and take

I like Phil Collins' version best but take your pick, world! Thanks for the idea, Undies!!

Poor New Orleans. Holy cow, spent at least half an hour watching the news this a.m. 10 feet of water on the streets?? Here's hoping for the best, Big Easy.

It got cloudy up here (duh) but very warm. Mr. B was back, I suppose in all his glory but the times I had to walk by that place (his office) I ignored him and even the office. And likely he didn't quite have the stomach to make me more miserable today. Marc was in (his first day back with us) and bored by 4:00. S and I left 13 minutes early. Could not take one more minute.

Did DO work, then found I somehow did it wrong in places and now have to go back and check everything. OOOh how inspiring that was )I can do really complicated things very quickly. The simple ones, including punching holes on paper to put them into a binder, I screw up every single time. In different ways, each time). This was one of those 'simple' jobs.

Decided to take Friday off. That leaves only 3 more days in Hell. And this coming weekend is Labour Day so it's a long weekend. The Psychic Fair (go ahead and laugh, I know you want to...!) is this weekend and I can't wait. Bet my aura's a bright red (just kidding. Red is the anger color).

Did get the rest of the stuff I wanted to do on Sunday (and didn't because of the !@#%^ vacuum cleaner) done. Except putting the VC back together. That I'm saving for another day when I will feel more like being frustrated.

It felt like the whole world around me was waiting for something to happen today, like everyone and every living thing in the near vicinity took a gigantic breath in and held it. Spooky and nerve-wracking. I don't usually pick up on 'vibes' around me that way although my Mom does. So that's how strong it was (even the non-receiver Bridg noticed it). Sure hope I was wrong. With my luck it'd be a Mr. B special. sigh.

This isn't a pity party guys, just description. Why can't we get hurricanes here? Everybody's having them but this place and we really really need a day or ten off. How about it, weather guys? Send us one of your spares. Only half kidding here.....

Well world, hope that tonight finds you dry, sheltered and with your loved ones...Bridg

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Can't Touch This

World, have you ever had a day when every little thing was just difficult?

Well today was one of those in some ways, great in others.

Very lazy again, didn't start getting dressed until after 2, when My Cousin Vinny was over. Have seen that film a few times and still love it.

Decided to change the filter in the Eureka upright vacuum. Vacuum immediately drops tons of cat gravel every time it's moved. Removed the filter cap, which is where Ithought the new filter would go. Not so, according to the instructions. Did I read the instructions first? Of course not, I had to go through trying to figure it out on my own, THEN give up and get the instructions. Which say that this filter is not the one that gets changed. You're supposed to clean THAT filter by either vacuuming it with another vacuum (brilliant engineering, that) or running warm water over it. I chose the later route. EWWWW. What flew out of the filter was so packed with grey fur (courtesy of guess who), it more resembled mouse bits than fur. EEEEWWWWW! The HEPA filter didn't need changing.

Then tried to reassemble the dirt cup and put it back into the vacuum. HA! Fixing the draw drapes would have been less frustrating and faster. STILL haven't gotten the damn vacuum back together. At one point, every move of the vacuum caused more kitty gravel to pour out and I was sick of the little piles all over the carpet. So I assembled another upright vacuum similar to a model (actually THE model ) that Mom liked. THAT vacuum was packed so tightly, I had to tear the box AND the styrofoam apart to get the pieces out. But did succeed and it does the job well, until you go to use the attachments. Have still not figured out how that works. Every time I try it, there's no suction.

Needed to go to the drugstore and electronics store but ran out of time. Went to Mom's, feeling VERY frustrated, but all turned out well. The restaurant we went to gave us great service (once they noticed us sitting there) and the meal was excellent.

I've calmed down/cooled down. Will try the vacuums again tomorrow after work, and will do the errands first. At least the little piles are gone. And the cat litter's changed.

It was stinking hot here today but didn't go out in it, was too busy watching movies, freezing berries and messing up vacuums. By the time dinner rolled around, it had cooled off well.

So how was your Sunday, World?

I have Mr. B (unless he's sick or something) for the first time in about 2 months tomorrow. Not looking forward to it, but perhaps if I'm very lucky, won't see him at all. He has two new victims to go after anyway. Hope they're going to be safe....

Had a very disturbing dream that my little sister was being held captive in some hospital (something to do with her eyes). Bro and I broke her out of there, Bro got away but I was captured and tortured. Then the cat woke me up. Don't need a PhD in psychiatry to decode that one!!

Well, world, I wish you clear cool days, cool nights and sweet dreams.

Hugs, Bridg

p.s. Mom doing much better, even she says that--stronger in many ways all the time.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Beautiful

Beautiful LyricsArtist: Gordon Lightfoot
Album: Beautiful Courtesy of http://www.lyricsdepot.com/gordon-lightfoot/beautiful.html

At times I just don't know
How you could be anything but beautiful
think that I was made for you
And you were made for me
And I know that I won't ever change
We've been friends through rain or shine
For such a long, long time
Laughing eyes and smiling face
It seems so lucky just to have the right
Of telling you with all my might
You're beautiful tonight
And I know that you won't ever stray
Cause you've been that way from day to day
For such a long, long timeAnd when you hold me tight
How could life be anything but beautiful
think that I was made for you
And you were made for me
And I know that I won't ever change
We've been friends through rain or shine
For such a long, long time
Well, I must say it means so much to me
To be the one
who's telling you
I'm telling you
that you're beautiful.

Isn't that a haunting song, world? How is it va'ing for you today?

Here it was hot, sunny, a little breezy and no clouds at all. Gorgeous late summer day. The butterfly bush (well, butterfly sprig is more like it) is finally blooming. Tiny lilac like flowers with red centers that smell of mint and baby powder. The garden in general did REALLY well--too well for my liking. The plants are huge. Azaleas and rhodos did especially well and the flipping bleeding heart is just a big bully, growing all over the place. Ferns are huge, hostas too. Will have to do some dividing next year.

The front is another story. The violets took offense to not being watered and turned to straw. So did the grass. Ingrates. I'm taking most of those plants up next year. Not that there is much of a front lawn in the first place.

Feet are markedly improved. Increased daily dose of devil's claw, kept wearing the new (good but ugly) shoes and it seems to be paying off. Sheesh.

Also went out and got a whole wack of strawberries and raspberries. Am freezing them on a tray, then dumping the frozen berries into baggies. This after proving to myself that if you just put them fresh into a baggie and then defrost, what you get is really gross.

Can't say that much went on here today. By co-incidence (which I don't believe in), was thinking about calling my cable provider to experiment with new channels. Low and behold, they call me today. Now if that is the way the universe is working these days, will start focusing on new job thoughts! The cable guys have this two months free deal so I'm gonna try it. Mom has that already and it seems pretty cool.

Gotta say that this weather is great. Warm and sunny days, very cool nights. Perfect sleeping weather. Am dying to get back on the treadmill but want to make sure that the feet are absolutely OK before doing that again.

The Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe enjoys weekends and I do too. Besides the obvious (no work), it is a weekly luxury to do nothing but sip coffee and read the paper with Smokey purring next to me for hours. Just love that. And now the birds are singing outside the window(s).

World, hope that whereever you are, that you're enjoying the peace and tranquility, however fleeting, that I am now!

Hugs, Bridg

Friday, August 26, 2005

Laugh Laugh, I Thought I'd Die

Subject: Should you be institutionalized????????????

Should you be institutionalized?

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time. This little test should get you started.During a visit to the mental hospital, a visitor asked the Director what is the criteria which defines a patient to be institutionalized.Well," said the Director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him/her to empty the bathtub".OK, here's your test.1. Would you use the teaspoon?2. Would you use the teacup?3. Would you use the bucket?Make your decision before you continue......................................................................................
Oh, I understand" said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or teacup".

No" said the Director,"A normal person would pull the plug! Do you want a room with or without a view?
************************

C'mon Eileen

Come On Eileen Lyrics courtesy of http://users.cis.net/sammy/eileen.htm
( Dexys Midnight Runners )

(Come on Eileen!)(Come on Eileen!)
Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
He moved a million hearts in mono
Our mothers cried and sang along and who'd blame them
Now you're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
And we can sing just like our fathers ....
Come on Eileen!
Well, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
With you in that dress, my thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty ......Ah, come on Eileen!
(Come on Eileen!)(Come on Eileen!)
These people round here wear beaten down eyes
Sunk in smoke dried faces
They're so resigned to what their fate is
But not us, no not us
We are far too young and clever
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye Eileen, I'll sing this tune forever
Come on, Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
Ah come on, let's take off everything
That pretty red dress .... Eileen (tell him yes)
Ah, come on! Come on Eileen!!!
Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
Come on Eileen!
Well, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
With you in that dress, my thoughts I confessVerge on dirty ......Ah, come on Eileen!
Come on, Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
Ah come on, let's take off everything
That pretty red dress .... Eileen (tell him yes)
Ah, come on! Come on Eileen!!!Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything

Isn't that a cool song (unless your name's Eileen), world? How are ya now?

Today at work, even though I had stuff to do I was so bored that brief thoughts of setting my (long brown) hair on fire stampeded through my so called brain. But thankfully it was over at 3:00. Left early to go join M for a beer. Which turned into two (I am sloshed at 1 these days, what with the sleeping meds and all. Cheapest drunk on the planet but damn not easy! Unless you're M and he isn't having any of that!). Annnnyway, he beat me to the restaurant, so I walk up to him--he's all in black, which he looks DAMN FINE in, seated at the window, head leaning on it and the dark wooden wall (longish white hair)...he looked like an oil painting, bless his heart. And it was fine!!

I think most of you who leave comments out there are married, so I'm not sure you remember this, but finding and being able to talk to someone who you admire, respect (OK lust after a little too), and with whom you share much in common intellectually....is a rare treat. Sort of like what a plant in my house must feel like when I finally water them ("like the desert missed the rain"). Well, this was one of those treats. We talked about everything and nothing. Each other. Our experiences with Mr. B (and what we'd like to do to him). God, karma, paying it forward, how/whether women can tell how well endowed men are and whether it matters--you name it we talked about it.

I'm just so grateful that there is a M. And it's both an honor and a good thing that we have so much in common. I wish we worked together still, but as long as we're around (I mean breathing) there is a strong relationship. He told me not to worry, and I'm not. As long as I can have the occasional talk with him, fine (does this sound like a 'fix' of M? It sure feels like one). Made my day, weekend, week, whatever. It was a treat.
We did that double kiss goodbye thing.

Got a parking ticked, crumpled it up & tossed it into the back seat. Then got onto the highway with all the windows and roof opened up. Think the ticket landed somewhere on the highway. You don't have to pay until they bill ya anyway. It was cheap at twice the price.

S is off to a friend's cottage for the weekend; Pauly, friend of friends, is off on 3 weeks holidays and then S goes :(( but Marc starts on Monday.

Unfortunately so does Mr. B but what the hell, everyone has to be somewhere. (it it taking some control not to add something to that last line there......).

Hope all of you have a sunny, happy filled weekend. I sure intend to do that. Good start, eh? Wish he had a twin bro.

Hugs to all, Bridg

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Got Gas?

From Peter..

The Tooth

A man walks into the dentist's office and after the dentist examines him, and tells the patient, "that tooth has to come out. I'm going togive you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes."

The man grabs the doc's arm, "no way. I hate needles I'm not having any shot!'

So the dentist says, "okay, we'll have to go with the gas.

The man replies, "absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple>of days.. I'm not having gas."

So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "here,"he says. "Take this pill."

The man asks "What is it?"

The doc replies, "Viagra."

The man looks surprised, "will that kill the pain?" he asks.

"No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!"

Ms Laughsalot

Here's a cute story from Dr. Vic:

A little Indian boy asked his father, the big chief and witch doctor of the tribe, "Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have shorter names - Bill, Tex or Sam, for example?"
> His father replied, "Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem for our culture not like the white men, who live all together and repeat their names from generation to generation. Also, it is part of
> our makeup that in spite of everything, we survive.

> For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake, because on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake. Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the prairies, because he was born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairies of the world appeared near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity to live and the life force of our people. It's very simple and easy to understand. Do you have any other questions, Two Dogs Fucking?

************
And another one from Chet:

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Kentucky arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.She said, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude.
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed
..."YES! YES! I WON, I WON!

"She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?

"The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching.

"Moral -Not all Kentuckians are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men

****************
OK should call it quits there but this one is so good, have to include it..(Adrian, swallow your beer now...)
Subject: oops Also from Dr. Vic...

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years inthe parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregationwas chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner.

He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited."I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession Iheard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. Thevery first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen atelevision set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it.

He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, hadan affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD tohis sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my
people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parishfull of good and loving people.".....

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full ofapologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentationand gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priestarrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being thefirst one to go to him in confession."

Moral: DON'T EVER BE LATE.

Punky's Dilemma

Punky's Dilemma (sp) (Simon and Garfunkle) courtesy of http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Punky


Wish I was a Kellogg's Cornflake
Floatin' in my bowl takin' movies,
Relaxin' awhile, livin' in style,
Talkin' to a raisin who 'casion'ly plays L.A.,
Casually glancing at his toupee.
Wish I was an English muffin'
Bout to make the most out of a toaster.
I'd ease myself down,
Comin' up brown.
I prefer boysenberry
More than any ordinary jam.
I'm a "Citizens for Boysenberry Jam" fan.
Ah, South California.
If I become a first lieutenant
Would you put my photo on your piano?
To Maryjane--Best wishes, Martin.
(Old Roger draft-dodgerLeavin' by the basement door),
Everybody knows what he's
Tippy-toeing down there for

Hi world, sorry I was MIA yesterday. Made the mistake of buying new shoes. They had a little tiny heel on them. Not the thin kind, the penny loafer kind, not at all sexy, not at all high.

By 2:00 I was in PAIN like you could not believe. Ankles looked like my knees. OUCH. Put my feet up (at work, this is not easy to do) and could not stand it by 4:14 so I went home 16 minutes early. Drove directly to a store (up the street from my office) that sells items to handicapped folks including shoes and sandals. Asked them to measure my feet and find something that didn't hurt, which they did.

Both pairs of shoes cost less than the one single pair that hurt so badly. And felt like heaven.

It took until now (24 hours later) for the pain to stop and the swelling to go away. Needless to say, I didn't go to work today. Took Advil for pain. It took away about 50% of the pain but not the sheepish stupid feeling I have for going through that kind of physical torture for a pair of shoes, not to mention the embarrassment of taking time off for that reason (actually said that I wrenched my ankle). Also missed a dentist appointment but might not have to pay for it.

The killer shoes were Eccos. A different style than the ones I got earlier that felt really good. Frig. Ouch.

The good thing? Got nice feeling shoes, got to sleep, and coming out of the door, met a 9 year old boy and his sister. They were waiting for their mom to come out of a nearby store and they were holding their PUPPY, an 8 week old collie (sable and white) female. Gorgeous, sweet (all 3 of them, but I'm focussing on the puppy). Just THE most adorable little thing I've ever seen.

Made me want one but The Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe would definitely not like it. Oh well, at least I got to visit with her/them. How adorable. Almost made the pain worth it lol (the shoe pain, I mean).

How was your day world? Good I hope? It 's hot, warm and breezy here...and something in the air's making it hard to breathe. Gee, maybe it's time to give the house its annual vacuuming.....

lol!!!

Bridg

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Tee Hee Hee

Peter's advice on keeping your mouth shut

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state her husband readily agreed.This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for the next 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that at the age of 55, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed thirty years ofdeposits and interest totalling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him cer! tificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the 30 years she had charged him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

THAT'S WHEN SHE SHOT HIM!

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut...

********************************
And here's one from the other Peter

Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home.

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "eighty is the worst age of all." "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old. "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock: no problem at all." said the 80-year-old.

"Do you have trouble crapping?" asked the 70-year-old. "No, I crap every morning at 6:30." the older man responded.

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so tough about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00 !”

Monday, August 22, 2005

ROFL

Thoughts to ponder from Peter

>Life is sexually transmitted.
>>Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
>>Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use>the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
>>Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying>of nothing
.>>Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>>All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to>criticism.
>>Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a>substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
>>In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is>weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>>Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to>realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
>>I had amnesia once - or twice.
>>Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
>>All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
>>If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
>>What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?
>>They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
>>Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows>up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
>>Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
>>Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
>>What if there were no hypothetical questions?
>>One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
>>A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
>>I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
>>The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
>>Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
>>Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a>man who can't get his pants off.
>>It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
>>Is it my imagination or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall

Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall (Simon and Garfunkle) courtesy of http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/simon-and-garfunkel/124734.html

Through the corridors of sleep
Past shadows dark and deep
My mind dances and leaps in confusion.
I don’t know what is real,
I can’t touch what I feel
And I hide behind the shield of my illusion.
So I’ll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end,
And flowers never bend
With the rainfall.
The mirror on my wall
Casts an image dark and small
But
I’m not sure at all it’s my reflection.
I'm blinded by the light
Of God and truth and right
And I wander in the night without direction.
So I’ll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end,
And flowers never bendWith the rainfall.
No matter if you’re born
To play the king or pawn
For the line is thinly drawn
’tween joy and sorrow,
So my fantasy
Becomes reality,
And I must be what I must be
and face tomorrow.
So I’ll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end,
And flowers never bend
With the rainfall.

Love that song..hope you do too world. How goes it this day?
It's a fall ish day here but is going to reach 27 (hot) by Friday. Today was pretty good but had roller coaster moments.

First, I realized I'm mouthy (OK quit laughing you guys!). We had a staff meeting and I wound up either talking a lot, telling (true) stories and explanations, or...well you get the picture. With sound. The guys said that I wasn't mouthy but.......

Then some of the questions being asked, decisions being made--I've been through this 10000 times before and I know why it won't work, and just how it will fail and how much work and grief it's all going to cause. And I am keeping my big fat trap shut about it because this guy has to learn it on his own. Have/Do talk to the guys, neither of which have been through it before, but they see it coming too. OH DAMN IT!!! It is time to go.

Heard from (maybe, hoping) future boss today. Said he was digging into the funding issue that is keeping me here where I DO NOT want to be. Sigh. When I talk to folks about leaving they all object from their point of view (I'm the living memory here). Sigh again.

The funniest thing is having the new boss, who is a sweet man, ask me to do things I did years ago which got killed by Mr. B. Why? Because frankly he hates the profession we are in. Odd and sick right? Well, I warned the new guy, at least gave him ideas of new names to call the old things to throw Mr. B off the scent.

This. is. sick.

Oh well at least I can sort of laugh at it.

So now Bell has a competitor where I live, and I just spend the longest half hour of my life making the switch. I think the call centre is in New Dheli from the sounds of things. I know how hard it is to learn another language, especially English which is so odd. I also am not at all racist. But if you are going into telephone sales in a foreign tongue, for heaven's sake make sure that you are fluent!!! This man asked me 4 times what he could do for me today. I wanted to stick with Bell by the middle of the call (heh heh maybe Bell sent him there?).

Am limping like crazy. Did everything wrong with icing the knee (the way that I did it--took the ice off too long) according to M. We spoke again today. There is a man who takes away the trash in our building. He's from El Salvador and was teaching M and me to speak Spanish. The three of us got into chats a lot too (he comes around the offices about 5:30-6:00). Today he happened to mention how important a smile or cheerful greeting can be. I jumped, dialed M's new number and gave him the phone. It surprised M but good to hear this man's voice on my phone number.

Got lots of jokes today, so will post some of them. Glad you guys like them, I depend on them on days like this. Have been having wicked awful nightmares lately and the worst one was last night. Dreamed, among other things, that I got back together with my ex, we moved in together, then all the stuff that happened since we'd first parted, and all the reasons why we broke up, hit me all at once and I left (HE left me in reality). Then I got lost, my cell phone broke...etc. etc. it was AWFUL.

Guess it's the stress of not knowing if I have another job? Whatever, it sucks.

Oh well, NCIS is on tonight and that's always good.

Later!!

Bridg

Red Rubber Ball

Red Rubber Ball LyricsArtist(Band):Simon and Garfunkel courtesy of http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Red-Rubber-Ball-lyrics-Simon-and-Garfunkel/E593D99AB047AB9A4825689600164C59

I should have known you'd bid me farewell.
There's a lesson to be learned from this
and I learned it very well
Now I know you're not the only starfish in the sea.
If I never hear your name again it's all the same to me.
And I think it's gonna be all right.Yeah, the worst is over now,
The morning sun is shining like a Red Rubber Ball.
You never cared for secrets I'd confide.
For you I'm just an ornament,
Something for your pride.
Always running, never caring,
That's the life you live.
Stolen minutes of your time were all you had to give.
And I think it's gonna be all right.
Yeah, the worst is over now,
The morning sun is shining like a Red Rubber Ball.
The story's in the past with nothing to recall.
I've got my life to live and I don't need you at all
The roller coaster ride we took is nearly at an end.
I bought my ticket with my tears, that's all I'm gonna spend.
And I think it's gonna be all right.Yeah, the worst is over now,
The morning sun is shining like a Red Rubber Ball

Tshsmom got me thinking, I still have the 45 of this song. I bet half of you are saying 'what's a 45?'.

Just kidding...

Great day today. Woke up an hour late but Mr. B isn't here this week (YAY!) so it didn't matter. Got some work to do (helping new boss/Pauly), and best of all, heard from M!!! We're going to have lunch on Friday. He isn't retiring for at least two years and is pursuing jobs THANK YOU, LORD!!!!

Now all we have to do is get me working.

Got rest of laundry done; even signed Mom, me and next door neighbor (the bossy one) up for a snowplow person.

Know how some folks are about cigarettes? That's me and Doritos. Managed to eat the biggest salad in the world (well it seemed like it) and a healthy lunch in general.

Now I'm starving.

Hey there's dinner, gotta go! Enjoy Peter's jokes, all....MWAH!
Bridg

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Stolen from Robyn's Blog (http://ultrabright.blogspot.com/)

Seven things

Seven things you plan to do before you die!!
1. Get back to my weight as it was in 1985 (size 10)
2. Travel in the Caribbean again at least once
3. Attend Mardi Gras
4. Live near a/any beach
5. Start a new career, hopefully in healing arts (reiki feels right)
6. Have another romantic relationship (looking doubful now)
7. Visit California (have never been), including the San Diego Zoo and California vinyards or Egypt

Seven things you can do!!
1. Like Robyn, entertain myself (and others, since I am a smart ass)
2. Sing (K. Carpenter, Olivia NJ ish)
3. Make good healthy soups
4. Write (allegedly)
5. Cook, esp. chicken and desserts
6. Bartend
7. Work as a disc jocket (did it for years at parties, etc.)

Seven things you can't do!!!
1. Drive a stick shift....Have learned but why bother? Have NOOOO intention of thinking while driving
2. Tolerate mean, abusive, intellectually dishonest or just plain idiotic people, without great and obvious pain
and effort. Pain for all, that is...
3. Vacuum the house. Hate the noise. OK do it when I get hives on my skin from the dust, but hate it just the
same.
4. Play or read music..never learned
5. Maintain a car by myself. Rely heavily on honest mechanics and dealers, won't go to anyone who isn't
straight with me
6. Relax and do nothing at work. Drives me nuts
7. Hold scissors normally. Dunno why, just feels wrong.

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex!!
1. Positive attitude, sense of humor, compassion for others (meanness to waiters, etc. shows a disaster waiting
to happen)
2. Cares about other people
3. Intelligence without being a brainiac
4. Non-arrogance
5. Like Robyn, ability to converse (i.e. I don't have to do all the work)
6. Openess
7. Good eyes/hands/butt

Seven things you say most!!!
1. Cool
2. Neat
3. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
4. I love you
5. ROFL
6. Hey (got the whole office saying this now instead of hi)
7. How's it goin, world?

Seven celebrity crushes!!!
1. Keanu Reves
2. Johnny Depp
3. Orlando Bloom
4. Rob Lowe
5. Jason Priestly
6. Sean Connery
7. Kevi Bacon

Seven people you want to take this quiz..
1. Raven
2. Mel
3. ZombieSlayer
4. Blog Kris
5. S
6. Jery
7. tshsmom
plus whoever else would like too steal this is welcome to spread it around.

YMCA

YMCA (Village People) courtesy of http://www.lyrics007.com/Village%20People%20Lyrics/Y.M.C.A.%20Lyrics.html

Young man, there's no need to feel down
. I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.
Young man, there's a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.
You can stay there,
and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
You can get yourself clean,
you can have a good meal,
You can do what about you feel ...
Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, what do you want to be?
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.
But you got to know this one thing!
No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there, to the y.m.c.a.
I'm sure they can help you today.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
You can get yourself clean,
you can have a good meal,
You can do what about you feel ...
Young man, I was once in your shoes.
I said, I was down and out with the blues.
I felt no man cared if I were alive.
I felt the whole world was so jive ...
That's when someone came up to me,
And said, young man, take a walk up the street.
There's a place there called the y.m.c.a.
They can start you back on your way.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys
... Y-m-c-a ...
you'll find it at the y-m-c-a.
Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.
Y-m-c-a ... you'll find it at the y-m-c-a.
Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.
Y-m-c-a ...
just go to the y-m-c-a.
Young man, young man, are you listening to me?
Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?

Remember the YMCA dance? And the little bird dance? Were we out of our minds or what??

Hi world, hope it's going great for ya!

Warm day here again, sunny and breezy. Man last year all it did was rain. What a switch. Not a whole heck of a lot to report here..just the usual domestic stuff. Do any of you actually flip your matresses? I do every four weeks and am thinking of giving it up permanently. MAN it gets tough after a while, if you're doing it yourself.

Not sure whether I posted this yesterday, but I interpreted my feet/ankle/knee difficulties as my body's revolt against excess weight and lack of exercise. So last night I started in earnest on the treadmill. Was only targetting to be on it for 10 minutes, but once the MP3 player kicked in I kinda got into it. Do you know it's possible to combine dance and walking? Sure you do. Well, got the arms going, and at my worst, started singing too. Scared the cat all to hell, but she survived. So did I. And everything felt so much better after too. Yay!

Love weekend mornings at home, being able to spend just about forever sipping coffee and reading the newspaper with the Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe for company (purring like crazy, watching me). THE life! Could easily be a beach/house bum.

Hey my pal Marc(us) who is coming back to work with us? He won tickets to a Stones concert! Actually heard his call into the radio station this afternoon. MAN talk about COOL! Could not happen to a nicer guy. I'm so happy for him and his wife. Hope his good luck carries over to the rest of us.

On a different but deeply disturbing note, did anyone watch Dateline tonight? It was HORRIBLE but I'm glad I saw it. Featured a U.N. delegate to Uganda describing child soldiers. If you saw it, you know what I mean. Where the HELL are the U.N. troops and why isn't anyone doing something about this? It's been going on for over a decade. Can't get that hellish thing out of my head.

World, tonight I"m praying for all the peaceful people in/on you. For protection, for help, for succor...Bridg

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Solitary Man

Solitary Man (Neil Diamond) courtesy of http://www.angelfire.com/ca/NeilDiamond/Solitary.html

Belinda was mine 'til the time that I found her
Holdin' Jim
Lovin' him

Then Sue came along, loved me strong, that's what I thought
me and Sue,
But that died, too.

Don't know that I will, but until I can find me
A girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me
I'll be what I am
A solitary man
A solitary man
I've had it to here - being where love's a small word
A part time thing
A paper ring
I know it's been done havin' one girl who loves you
Right or wrong
Weak or strong
Don't know that I will. but until I can find me
A girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me
I'll be what I am
A solitary man
A solitary man

No I'm not gay, just love the song. The man's got soul. Not Marvin Gaye type, but soul all the same. Dontchathink?

How are ya world?

It was rainy and cool here (YAY!!!!!). Raven and Storm, hope you guys are cool literally today too?
Found out I didn't need caulking today. Turns out the leaks came from the roof. Thank heavens for the honest handyman! He repaired the light downstairs, and all it cost was roughly $80. OK I could have done it myself but I am a BIG chicken about electricity, especially in a dark basement corner. Soo happy that's over. Now have to figure out how to re-thread the drawdrapes. Have a big old loop of string hanging down now and pulling doesn't work, and poking it in doesn't either. The stupid thing is 84 inches long (big sucker). Well, maybe that can wait.

Got boots. Winter ones. Didn't intend to but saw some zip ups that come a little over the ankles, so decided to grab them while they were around. I hate normal boots so much that last year, wore duckies until they split (noticed while Mom was in the hospital. One splintered into about 6 pieces. Well, they're only for rainy season...it was pretty cold by then).

Other than shoe stuff and grocery shopping, didn't do much. Oh yah, sent out jokes as many of you now know. Wish I could think of a way to post the movie type jokes here. They are a scream. It takes me about 2 hours to send out jokes, bouncing from yahoo rogers to Google mail. Yahoo only lets you send out 1 big distribution list an hour, so I use my g mail account too, but first I play/read the jokes to make sure that they aren't lame. It takes a while. By that time my feet are so swollen, I kid you not, that there is NO WAY I'm walking anywhere. Have a wait a bit till they shrink down again. Isn't that stupid? Oh well. Live it up guys/gals, once you hit 50 things get a little nutso!

Hope you'll be proud of me, got 3 salads (ready made--if it takes work forget it) and lots of other healthy stuff today. Absolutely no bad stuff if you know what I mean. The store that I got this stuff in has at least two sparrows who have been living inside the store for over a year. They were close to where I was in the checkout. MAN it was SWEET. But the management is going to try to use music to get them to leave. Apparently they're freeloading off the produce section (big deal, man. How much can they eat, really?). I thought it was cool. The guy checking my groceries out mentioned something I'd never heard of before: 'Brown keys/notes'. Apparently that's a frequency that makes animals/folks, ummmm, poop. Have any of you ever heard of this? Sounds hokey to me.

Speaking of animals, there is a maniacal grey squirrel in this neighborhood (there's a park right behind my yard) that likes to climb screens. Makes a hell of a racket when he does his 'climb the walls' thing. This morning I was only awake for 10 minutes before the handyman showed up. Let him into the house, then hear what I think is that stupid squirrel. Sounded like he was on the sliding door into the back garden. Went to open the door to shoo him away, and almost ran into two blue jays. They were both trying to perch on the light fixture for the garden. MAN are they PRETTY. They can stay.

Also did a lot of printing out of food fibre content for my mother. This high fibre stuff is not only good for the heart, it's also good for this stuff she has (diventriculosis). Found out that half a cup of raspberries (which cost the earth) with oatmeal is 7.7 grams, and 20-30 per day is recommended. Not bad, huh? Also bought a bunch of raspberries and strawberries on the way home last night. Can't stand the sight of plain oatmeal early in the a.m. Looks too much like stuff I don't want to think about.

Am trying very hard not to think about the potential new job and M. Am really anxious to move onto something else and escape Mr. B. Can't stand the thought of seeing him ever again...and can't stand the thought of not seeing M again either. Not that I have any say about either thing. All I can do is adjust, control my thoughts etc. Heard a heck of a lot more about how loud thoughts can be this a.m. (don't ask me where, I was half asleep) but it kind of echoes almost anything I've read on the subject. Sort of like thoughts become reality sooner or later. What do you think of that? Fact, fiction or fantasy?

Watched movies with an icepack on the foot/knee with the Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe sitting near the other leg today. It is so cool, she just hangs out with me. Neat cat. Pretty too, but then I'm soooo biased.

S is going canoing with a friend of his out West. He'll probably be away when I leave (hopefully I am leaving?). It scared the living daylights out of me when he told me what he was going to do. Keep your fingers crossed that he comes back ok, OK? He's too good a person to be injured in any way.

Marc starts with us on the 29th. He's a good, funny, smart and cute guy too. It's funny, you know, all these guys--Pauly, S and Marc--are cute, funny, smart as HELL, and totally unconceited. It's amazing. Don't know what I ever did right to have the honour of working with these guys/men, but I am so eternally grateful that I did whatever it was. They are truly the best. Issy too. And needless to say, M also. It's amazing.

I know, I know, quit talking about it, I'm making you nauseous.

OK I'm off to dinner. Will check back on all your blogs by bedtime.

Hope that you and yours are very healthy and happy, world. Especially you, Tshsmom!

Hugs, Bridg

Friday, August 19, 2005

Giggle Time

OK I realize this applies to your PARENTS more than you (and sort of me)...but show them this anyway. They'll laugh....thanks to Peter again
This is fun, even if you can't remember 1957
REMEMBER 1957?
I know some of you are not old enough to remember but this email below was put together in a great way, hope you enjoy it.

Remember this?
The following were some comments made in the year 1957:
(1) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, itsgoing to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20.00."
(2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when$5,000 will only buy a used one." (3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter apack is ridiculous."
(4) "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just tomail a letter?"
(5) "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."
(6) "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in thegarage,"
(7) "Kids today are impossible. Those ducktail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls,"
(8) "I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying damn in "Gone With The Wind", it seems every new movie has either hell or damn in it."
(9) "I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."
(10) "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for$75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday that they will be making more than the President."
(11) "I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now"
(12) "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."
(13) "It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hiresomeone to watch their kids so they can both work."
(15) "I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to awhole lot of foreign business."
(16) "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takeshalf our income in taxes.. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the bestpeople."
(17) "The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriouslydoubt they will ever catch on." (18) "There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. Itcosts nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel."
(19) "No one can afford to be sick any more, $35.00 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."

I'm Your Captain

I'm Your Captain (Grand Funk Railroad)
Courtesy of http://www.twin-music.com/azlyrics/g_file/songs/grand_i.html

Everybody, listen to me
And return me, my ship
I'm your captain, I'm your captain
Though I'm feeling mighty sick
I've been lost now, days uncounted
And it's months since I've seen home
Can you hear me, can you hear me
Or am I all alone?
If you return me, to my home port
I will kiss you, mother earth
Take me back now, take me back now
To the port of my birth
Am I in my cabin dreaming, or are you really scheming
To take my ship away from me?
You'd better think about it, I just can't live without it
So, please don't take my ship from me
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
I can feel the hand, of a stranger
And it's tightening around my throat
Heaven help me, Heaven help me
Take this stranger from my boat
I'm your captain, I'm your captain
Though I'm feeling mighty sick
Everybody, listen to me
And return me, my ship
I'm your captain,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm your captain, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm your captain, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm your captain, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm getting closer to my home...
I'm getting closer to my home...
I'm getting closer to my home...
I'm getting closer to my home...Oh...
I'm getting closer to my home...
I'm getting closer to my home...
I'm getting closer to my home...
I'm getting closer to my home...

Remember that one? That's my old school (well, that and "Tommy").
How are you world??? How goes it tonight?

Sorry I've been MIA. That wild singles life, fell asleep again.
Yesterday was one neat day. Had to go back to the hospital a SECOND time for the radioactive whatever and picture-taking. The picture-taking requires lying perfectly still for 17 minutes while a huge camera moves around your chest/back taking photos of your heart. And if you move or speak, they have to start all over again.

Why did I have to go back? They changed the way that this test is done. Now the 'resting', or non-stressed, pictures of the heart are taken on a separate day. What the hell, it's good for another day off from 'work'. Met the neatest people there (at the hospital). The one who hugged me yesterday (did I mention she's in menopause too? Yah and she started before I did AND is 3 years older than I am) nagged them to 'do' me right away the minute she saw me, and then gave me a big grin. What a sweetie! There was a gang of folks in the waiting room, 2-3 of them were together, another woman on her own and a girl with her father. The older man in the group of 2-3 was the one with the heart condition.

I mentioned that the hospital we were sitting in gives classes on how to buy/cook/eat heart-healthy ways. He said that he didn't like whole wheat bread because of the seeds in it. We all looked puzzled, then his daughter asked where on earth he bought whole wheat bread with seeds in it. He gave the name of a real real awful junk store (honest, you wouldn't buy SOAP there!). We all broke up laughing, especially when he said that it cost $1.39 (whole wheat starts around $2.00 here). I said that they were mouse parts, the other woman on her own (a quiet looking person) said that they were mouse turds. We killed ourselves laughing. You should have seen the look on his face---it was priceless! Everyone there was so kind, and funny. Both days were as pleasant as that kind of stuff can be. And both times I left the place at 4:00--which is about when I leave work anyway. So no guilts over the early departure.

So was only in the office 2 days this week. And Mr. B isn't in next week either YAY. Didn't do much today, took a whole bunch of personality tests on the web. It isn't as if I have work, and I"ve done most of the stuff Pauly gave me (I work pretty fast, will finish the rest in less than an hour. Am trying to stretch it out).

Did call a handyman to come in and fix the basement light that won't work and do caulking around two windows in the upstairs. They're the only ones I didn't replace, and both have leaks in both corners (just noticed that a little while ago. The curtains hid the marks.). Also, the electric light sockets near the windows also have leak streaks (probably dangerous, right?). So tomorrow it'll get fixed and Good Heavens Above, will finally be able to SEE the laundry and fridge. What'll she think of next lol?

Mom seems to be doing just fine. Even though she claims to be depressed by it, the cooler weather is agreeing with her. And she is EATING!!! Turns out that she was in pain from the ulcers and that contributed a great deal to her not eating. Now she cleans up everything on her plate. Not just once, but every time for the last 3-4 times I"ve seen her! YAY!

Now word from grumpy Bro but that's normal.
Sis looking to change jobs. About time. The place she's in specializes in burning out folks and tossing them aside. In 1990, I was one of them. I'm talking 95 hour workweeks, and then they get mad when you cut back on the stupid overtime. Seriously.

Has anyone seen Red Eye? Looks good, thinking of seeing it tomorrow night. To celebrate increased insulation. According to government info/propaganda, windows are responsible for 30% of heat losses...

And with gas prices continuing to go nuts...aw it's the weekend. Don't wanna talk about that stuff. Here's some fun stuff from Peter:

Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it.
If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.
The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket (OK Peter, THAT one I am taking
personally lol!).
To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.
Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? and belly button rings.
Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.
Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.
Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead

Have a great Friday night, world!!
until S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!!

luv, Bridg

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Get Together

Get Together (Youngbloods)
courtesy of http://www.solcomhouse.com/gettogethe.htm

Love is but a song to sing
Fear's the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Though the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why
Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now
Some may come and some may go
We shall surely pass
When the One that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moment's sunlight
Fading in the grass
Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now
Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now
Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now
If you hear the song I sing
You will understand (listen!)
You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
It's there at you command
Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now
Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now
Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now
Right now ... Right now.....

I get goosebumps just reading those words. Love that song.

How are you tonight, world? Ca marche?

Had the first night in several months of continuous 8 hours of sleep. No nightmares, just dreams--and in them, succeeded at whatever I was trying to do. That is a lifetime first. Probably due to not taking conflicting medications for the first time.

All I did today was get poked and injected with things. Thought that treadmill torture was on the menu for today. Thanks to some disorder of a knee (mine), was injected with thallium (yep it IS a poison) instead. OH MAN thought it was game over. Then came radioactive something or other, then the antidote. Could feel the thallium right down to the soles of my feet. Oh yes, after the poking and injecting, you lie perfectly still for 17 minutes while some huge camera takes pics of your heart with your hands over your head. Fortunately, lying down.

If I was reading this on someone else's blog, I think they were whining; but I kid you not--if I say that my head hurts, then it's about ready to fall off. MAN that was some kind of feeling. I asked if I could take a bag of that stuff to work. The techie thought that that was a hoot and asked who it was for (Mr. B). She asked how I'd give it to him, and I said "If there's a God, up his butt". Think she doubled over then since at the time I was REALLY in pain (i.e. what kind of brain thinks of stuff like that when they're suffering?!). Anyhow, they declined to provide a take home kit, and I have to go back there tomorrow afternoon. Today it took from noon until 4. Tomorrow it allegedly starts at 1:30 but since there's a 4 hour fast, I'm just taking the day off. Keeps me from forgetting and eating. And it's not like I have any work to do anyway.

On the other hand, it's a shame to miss a day without Mr. B.

The nicest parts of the day--the techie gave me a big big hug when I left, and then said " I just sexually harassed you, you know that?" (she was female). Cracked me up. Also got to chat with the cafeteria lady. She'd been working in the same job for 38 years. Didn't look over 45. What a sweetheart. Even said 'goodnight' when she left.

MAN there are such sweet, lovely folks out there!

And today was one of those clear, breezy, springy-cool days. Just wonderful. Perfect. Not necessarily for getting punctured but if you have to get punctured, why not on a great weather day by very nice folks? I'm cool with that.

BTW, completely unrelated, could someone explain to me what 'kick it at old school' or 'kickin old school' means? OK I"m an idiot, but I really don't get it. That phrase is in a commercial for Diet Pepsi, and today was in a comic strip.

Talked to M today. He is probably retiring, maybe any day now. I'm heart broken. He is so good, kind, funny, cute, smart...so great with people. It's a huge loss, not only to me but to the entire field. There's a generation just getting to know him in this profession. And I'll probably never see him again. It doesn't hurt like it did when I knew he was leaving our office, it's more intellectual than that. But it is hard to accept. Might be the best thing for him as a professional, but.....well, guess it's time to just accept the things I can't change. But for the life of me I can't see the purpose of this at all. I mean in the bigger scheme of things.

Wish I could see down the road. And understand even just a little more than now.

But first I have a ton of weight to lose. For me. Am on it folks, am being very good.

Hope your weather was as good as it was here, world. Hope that your day was equally good.

Bridg

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Got Gas?


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Laugh Lines

Thank you Peter!!

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.
#15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."
#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"
#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!#
1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Sea Of Love

Hey World how goes it?
Last night was a tough one. Definitely up until 4 or later, despite taking four sleeping pills, two arthritis strength Tylenols and a Chlortripolon. Could not wake up this a.m. so called in sick to work. Did make it to my shrink appointment. There I learned that Chlortripolon has an interaction with Plavix (an anticoagulant that I'm on) that causes (TA DA!!) insomnia! Hopefully that explains what's been going on.

Have a stress test (tee hee hee) tomorrow. The one where you're injected with radioactive dye and then they try to kill you using a treadmill? And then they take pics of your heart? Yah that one. So I'm taking tomorrow off also. You can't eat 4 hours prior to the test, no caffeine for 12 hours prior, and I think the test takes a while (they try to schedule one person's stress test after the other--like an assembly line). It might take as long as 4 hours to get through.

I thought the real life stress test was yesterday, lol.

Don't get me wrong, Bro was wrong as wrong can be then, but I'm not about to raise it explicitly. Not passive agressively either, I'm just gonna stay the hell away from him as much as humanly possible (actually none of us call his house now. Usually he/wife are quite p*ssed off when anyone calls, regardless of hour. It's less ummm stressful for THEM to call US). Don't want to cause Mom any more probs than she already has.

Yesterday at work was so boring that I typed "my boss is an idiot" on Google, and it came back with some really good sites. One of them I posted yesterday (the url). Another one had even more meaning, at least for me. It's heading was something like "Got A Problem With A CoWorker/Boss?". I read it and it ...well let's say it was pretty religious. Advised looking at the person in the way that God/Jesus would and that all transgressions, including theirs, had already been paid for, so to 'leave it at the cross'. OK OK I felt a bit ashamed and a lot better after reading it. So will try not to rant about anyone. Last night I was ready to explode. Holidays and 'celebrations' were like yesterday's event was when we were growing up only with yelling involved. The gathering of family presented a collection of folks for my dad to take his temper out on, and I felt that Bro was recreating that nonsense yesterday. Even if he is, I am not going to play the game or let him interfere with me. Or inflict it on you readers.

Probably easier said than done but that's the intention anyway.

Guess what? There is ANOTHER flying bug in the house. Much bigger than the moth. It looked like a huge dragonfly. It was in the same room as this computer, and it flew right at my head. I ducked, screamed and ran. It disappeared. Have no idea where the damn thing went, and if it wants to eat my clothes, it can! With relish!! Wonder why my house has become so attractive to insects? It's not as if it's filthy or anything. Have only been in or out during the day. Oh well, that's life in the suburbs I guess. Still...knowing it's in here is kind of like waiting for the other shoe to fall.

Maybe I can convince the Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe to take an epicurean interest in insects.

HA!! Wishful thinking, that!

Have a great bug-free night, world. If any of you WANT bugs, just drop by my place. They're probably all in my kitchen having a drink.

Bridg

p.s. Anyone care to comment on the price of gas? I just paid $45 to fill the tank of a Honda Civic! Have seen on the news that in New York (City) the price was $3.54 a gallon a few days ago. Yikes.

Comic Relief Part 2

From Monique:
There are only eleven times in history where the " F **K " word has been considered acceptable for use.
They are as follows:
11. "What the @#$% do you mean we are sinking?"-- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912
10. "What the @#$% was that?"-- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"-- Custer, 1877
8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."-- Einstein, 1938
7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"-- Picasso, 1926
6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?"-- Pythagoras, 126 BC
5. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"-- Michelangelo, 1566
4. "Where the @#$% are we?"-- Amelia Earhart, 1937
3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"-- Noah, 4314 BC
2. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"-- Bill Clinton, 1999
and a drum roll............! ....
1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @%#*^ing mad."-- Sadaam Hussein, 2003

And from Peter....
Here's a one question IQ test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day......
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses".

If you got this wrong - please turn off your computer and call it a night.
I am!!
Night!

Monday, August 15, 2005

Comic Relief

Zel, you are a lifesaver...

TOP 21 WAYS TO SAY "YOUR FLY IS OPEN"

21) So you like to hang out!

20) The cucumber has left the salad.
19) I can see the gun of Navarrone.
18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17) You've got Windows in your laptop.
16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15) Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.
13) Paging Mr. Johnson.. Paging Mr. Johnson..
12) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9) Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hilary."
4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3) You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2) I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR FLY IS UNZIPPED...
1) I thought you were crazy before but now I see your nuts.


You may also want to check out this site I ran across today: http://www.craigslist.org/sby/rnr/89769500.html

Horse With No Name

aka ARRRRRGGGGHJHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was my first day back at the Place Where Hope And Souls Die (work). It was the longest, most excrutiating day in the history of time keeping.

Also the longest.

Anticipating my departure, during my one month sick leave, Mr. B reassigned my projects. Which suited me just fine, since his concept of my/our profession is that it shouldn't exist, he doesn't understand it, everything Bridg does is wrong and can't anyone do it in the first place?

I'll ignore the obvious reply to that.

Before vacation, was helping out my colleagues for something to do. My hopefully future boss is off until Sept., and there are some other maneuvers to be done which means I will stay as I am probably until mid Sept. Hence I am in doldrums. Becalmed. Bored out of my f'ing skull.

Am still helping others out. It's OK but it is very tough to be here and to have a light load. I.hate.it.

Today we had a family birthday party at a local restaurant that my Mom and I like. Bro and his family, Sis (her bd too) and HER family were there. Bro walks in late, his wife even later. This was not their favourite restaurant--I usually cave in and go to it even tho Mom and I don't like it. This time I didn't. He is a son of a bitch all evening. Argued with everything I said--just plain angry. What about? Who cares? The point is HIM. And when he is angry, acts just like our late abusing father. Facial expressions, movements, words, everything. CHARMING.

Mom blissfully ignorant of everything going on around her (or pretending to be)--like an advanced Altzheimer's patient.

We went to Mom's afterward, where I just ignored the guy. He tried to start conversation, I just left as soon as gracefully possible after the festivities. Excuse was that someone had to take the billion gallons of ice cream (barf) home, as there is no room in Mom's freezer. Practically ran out of there.

I did graduate from university/college. Am NOT a know-it-all, but I do my homework (e.g. researching Mom's health problems). See no reason to argue the scientific facts with Bro (do not ask) nor argue with Mom about what her original version of the doctor's orders were (which have now changed). These were the items of contention. Not that it mattered much, I think he just wanted to be mad. At someone, at something.

Bro has literally just come back from visiting a former neighbor who now lives in a nearby city. This fellow used to be quite close to Bro and his family. The guy is now a VP in some high tech firm, making well into the six, if not seven, figures (no exaggeration) salary.

I can see how that would be hard to take for Bro, who is quite proud and controlling, and his wife, who is even worse. But it is not MY fault. Coming on top of a long first day back---OH this was a treat.

Feel like diving under the f"ing covers and staying there for the next 24 hours. Oh yah, I can't, I have my SHRINK appontment tomorrow. Geez wonder what we'll talk about?

Tonight, I would gladly move to Timbuctu or further to get the hell away from all of the madness. I can't. Much as she sometimes drives me crazy, Mom needs me. Have no idea what if anything to do in the future about this, and right now I just don't care. Can't discuss it with her, she already has a son we never see. But that is no reason for me to have to tolerate this kind of crap.

These are the times that call for a stink bomb.

You know, something sophisticated?

Ooooooh world, hope your day was better!

woefully yours, Bridg

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Rock and Roll Part 2

Gee wonder why the lyrics are so simple!?

How are you world?

It's overcast but not too hot here. Did absolutely zip except more groceries/errands yesterday. Got stuff I forgot to get while I was getting Mom meals that she just has to heat up. NOT looking forward to tomorrow, but as Tshsmom said, at least Mr. B won't be there (for another two weeks YAY!). Got so fed up/guilty about not doing housework that I started last night. Did dusting, polishing, changed linen, put away wash/dishes. While cleaning up the main bathroom, saw something out of the corner of my eye. Actually had been seeing that for some time and thought that I was imagining it, but THIS time also heard that faint bumping sound...looked up and saw one huge moth. Not imagining it was huge, it was. ICK. Ran out of the bathroom and slammed the door, taking the beach towel (souvenier of Mexico) that usually hangs over the door with me. After the panic died down (ZS I can hear you laughing now!), decided to throw the towel over the moth and let it go outside. And that's what I did.

Boy was I awake after that. EWWWWWW

Aside from that 'excitement', have any of you noticed that those scented oil things don't work? I don't usually smell things, but noticed that the house smelled of cat (with completely clean litter). Got new scented oil thingies with fans, and presto the problem wasn't there anymore. How annoying. The old air fresheners, the solid ones, can't be found anywhere and they used to work just fine without fans. And who outlawed vegetable boullion liquid? Haven't been able to find that for a year in any store around here.

Yet another question, even tho most of you are likely younger than me, have any of you ever woken up wondering what the hell happpened? One minute you're 18, having one heck of a good time, not thinking all that deeply about the rest of you life, the next minute you're older, heavier and a lot less lively. Some days I still feel like I was when I was younger (18 or 30 something--never feel like 20 something. Those --married--years were kinda like being in school and I don't think about them); other days are just normal (like I've always been 53). My mother's going to be 77 on Monday and she said that she still feels 18 inside some days. Now I know what she means.

Would not want to be in my teens or 20s for the world. Not sure about my 30s, I was in great shape then (well, up until the end of them but I was a little idiot then too. Very idealistic--painfully so). Hardly remember my 40s--so many family/friends/lovers died then it isn't something I can think about without great pain. Come to think of it, each decade had its own learning curve that I wouldn't want to go through again at all. But still. It's hard to imagine that once 34 waist jeans were 'fat' ; all I wanted to do was be married and have a family--being alone (unmarried) was the worst hell imaginable and a social stigma (other folks' values mattered a lot then); music and my buddies were all that mattered; health was boring and good health something taken for granted (e.g. arthritis was something folks got in their 80s); for that matter, mortality and nearness of family were both taken for granted--and on it goes. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

I'm not bitching here, it just all seems a bit fantastic--like watching a sci-fi movie about someone else. Actually kind of funny. One of my pals at work said something about working to live instead of living to work. That's probably what started this train of thought. Just when did work get to be so important? Never mind, I just answered my own question--when the objectives of what I'm doing co-incided with my values, as well as those of my friends (who I work with), that's when. Hmmm. Maybe it IS not just a good thing that I change jobs--maybe it's essential to get things back into balance.

Geez I'll do anything to get out of housework!

Just kidding .....has anyone else thought like this? If so, did you conclude anything?

Far out!

Have a great day, world!

love, Bridg

Friday, August 12, 2005

Da da da da

Hi world, how goes it?

Here life is very rainy but a great deal cooler (note: it's 11:49 and the a/c is on. Oh well). Didn't do much today except get hair done (and that takes hours) and getting groceries. Also bought a bunch of frozen meals for my mom's dinners and lunches. She's weak, and her habits of soup for lunch and little or no dinner are going to make her ill unless we can get her to carry on the hospital's food habits. Honestly the food at the hospital was great. And so was the staff, room, care, etc. Anyway, I brought the food to her place, put it away (it's impossible to get one more bit of food into there now), cooked her dinner and watched her eat it. I got hell for that later on but in a nice way.

Forgot to pick of some stuff of my own so have to go back tomorrow. Isn't that how it goes? I've let a few things around the house slide, which I'll do tomorrow.

Heard from M. He is not looking forward to going back to work in a week (one week later than me) and his old boss is trying like hell to get him a job somewhere else in M's home organization. Good. I can't say that Mr. B is doing that but hopefully I won't need him to. He's still off for a couple of weeks when I go back on Monday.

So life's going back to 'normal', whatever that means. Hey did mention that I got my hair done, right? Well they also colored my eyebrows. I look like a cross between Groucho Marx and a 70s rocker (long hair in the back, lots of body on top). The eyebrow thing will tone down in a day or too but to me it looks hysterical.

The Most Spoiled Cat In The World is enjoying her new perch these days (thank heavens) and her mom's company (I get cat love nips and kisses. She is sooooo sweet). Will miss this peaceful laid back part of life when I go back to jail I mean work.

Hope all is well in your worlds?

Hugs, Bridg

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Hang Fire

Well world, Mom's home! She got a new roomate in the hospital (24 hours prior to leaving) who, sorry to say, bleats like a calf continuously, including all through the night. The night nurse gave her morphine, and even that didn't knock her out. She's calling for her grandmother in French. Her son, who visits her, said that this isn't his mother now--it's her shell. The loudness and plaintiveness of the voice--it was horrible. I hope someone shoots me if I ever get that way. When Mom was in the hospital in December with the heart attack, she had other roomates in similar states (demented, but not as loud/persistent). What a horrid price to pay for growing old/outliving your mate. Wonder what will happen to that poor lady?

Anyway, Mom's fine, cat's fine...I took Mom to dinner (to make sure that she eats, now that she's become used to having three meals a day). Her meds have changed, and Bro took care of that. Ordered the birthday cake for her, Sis and Sis' partner. A/C unit's fine (maintenance guy came as promised). I'm looking for descriptions of diets for diventricular folks. Or however you spell that. I'm looking forward to sleep, so is Mom and the rest of the family.

Thanks so much for the prayers, good wishes and support. I know they worked.

Know that KFC commercial where a woman walking down a side walk spots a fallen leaf and starts screaming/runs away? Well, the leaves are turning up here and today I saw three different (and big) flights of geese on the wing.

Would b*tch about it, but would be glad for relief from the heat. Any signs where you are?

Tonight's post is gonna be short, gotta nap.

Hugs and love to all, Bridg

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Smoke On The Water

I was going to call this post Spam on the water but figured why invite trouble?

Great news!!! They did the colonoscopy and .....it was diverticulitis!! YAY!! That's the best outcome that could have been expected. Diverticuli are small sacs on the intestine wall. Sometimes they bleed (or worse, get pus filled), but once they've bled, are very unlikely to do it again. Mom also had a large polyp (2 cm) which they removed, cauterized and are putting through biopsy. 1% of them are malignant. The bad news is now all of us siblings have to get the same exam. Ewwwwwww. But anyway, the condition's begnin, and I think Mom's coming home tomorrow YAY YIPPEE Thanks so very much for your prayers, I know they did the trick. According to whatever blood counts they did (red blood cell?) Mom had lost 1/3 of her blood. One more cell and they would have given her a transfusion, but thank heavens she didn't get/need one. Why thank heavens? Canada saved money by not examining blood that had been banked when AIDS hit. I've seen figures estimating as many as 75% of the hemopheliacs in Canada were thought to have been wiped out/have AIDS. And that doesn't include the ones now suffering from hepatitus C. I don't trust the system at all, at least with my family, and I really really hope that that rumor's not true.

The doctor was darn cute but way too young. He reminded me of Chachi (however you spell that name) from Happy Days. And nice too.

Bro, Sis and I spent a fair number of hours at the hospital, Sis the most which was nice. Bro is taking Mom home tomorrow (assuming they'll let her go home then). Since this is my last week of (ho ho ho) vacation, I scheduled a lot of stuff for this week that HAD to be done. You know, the appointments that drive singles wild? Had the car in for its 29000 checkup and to get rid of a loud rattle that was driving me nuts (done today); the air conditioning folks, who up until now denied knowing that I was a client, found my policy and are coming to do the a/c tune up tomorrow afternoon, and I am getting 1" of snow white roots taken away on Friday afternoon because.....Monday is (a) Mom and Sis' birthday (family party) and (b) the day I go back to work. Also made suppers and my lunches for next week (i.e. cooked chicken for sandwiches and made main dishes for the week). Holy crap I need a cook/handyman/babysitter (for me)!!

Don't even ask about laundry or housecleaning. Both are 2 weeks overdue.

Know what? I'm gonna rest.

Thank you all so very much for the support. I hope this is over and that your lives are happy, peaceful and excitement free.

Hugs, Bridg