Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Dancin (Laughin) In The Streets

Just got some cool jokes via e mail that I have to share with you all....

You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one....
A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned ona night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, coveredtheir pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrivedand the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in the house because "she" always tries to eat the bird.

The wife goes out to the taxi whilethe husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man inhot pursuit. The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty.She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon."He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab..

"Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coathanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep herfrom scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threwher out into the back yard!" The cabdriver hit a parked car...
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Here is one for the ladies...
http://www.magnum7sins.com/theSun/ddate.html

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Have one for the guys but will have to post the pic separately...
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and here is some info (serious)
....A dear friend of mine (not Bridg's, a pal of Bridg's) just had a mild stroke about two weeks ago.
> > > > She had driven to the garage to have her car worked on.
> > > > She tried to talk to the mechanic and she could not speak.
> > > > She did not know anything was wrong until this happened.
> > > > They took her right to the hospital and she has since made a full recovery.

> > > >> > > > Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify.
> > > > Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster.
> > > > The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
> > > >> > > > Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking 3 simple questions:

> > > > 1. Ask the individual to smile.
> > > > 2. Ask him or her to raise both arms.
> > > > 3. Ask the person to speak a simple sentence.
> > > > Or ask the person to 'stick' out his/her tongue...

> > > > if their tongue is NOT 'straight' but goes off to one side> that is another indication of a stroke.
> > > >> > > > If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call the> ambulance immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. After discovering that a group of non-medical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the general public to learn the 3 questions.

> > > >> > > > They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke> Association's annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.> > > >> > > > A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this email sends it to 10 people, you can bet that at least one life will be saved. Tell as many people as possible about this. It could save their lives!

Bridg

4 Comments:

  • At 7/14/2005 01:51:00 PM, Blogger bsoholic said…

    That is good info to know, there have been a few strokes in my family history.

    Also that joke was really funny!

     
  • At 7/14/2005 06:13:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Hey welcome to the blog, bsoholic!! VERY glad to pass on the info and am very pleased you liked the joke! Feel free to pass along any that you want to......Bridg

     
  • At 7/14/2005 08:19:00 PM, Blogger The Zombieslayer said…

    Awesome cat joke. That stroke thing both Mrs. Zombieslayer and I knew though. We both knew a few friends and/or family members who had them. :(

     
  • At 7/14/2005 08:34:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Really ZS? Are they OK? I'm really getting to know the heart/stroke stuff, unfortunately. When my mother had hers (heart attack) on Christmas, all she had as symptoms was an aching jaw. Had just read a Newsweek article and knew what it was (she had stomach gas too).

    Guess we're getting to that age?

    But strokes are really sneaky. Keep your asprins handy....we need Zombieslayer(s)!!!

    Bridg

     

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