Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Sisters Are Doin It For Themselves

From Monique...

CUSTOMER SERVICE
> >
> > > > > >
> >
> > > > > > This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a
> >
> > longtime.
> >
> > > > > > I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
> >
> > > > > >
> >
> > > > > > This is a true story from the WordPerfect Help line which was
> >
> > > > > > transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
> >
> > > > > > department.
> >
> > > > > > Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired. However, he
> >
> > > > > > is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination
> >
> > > > > > without Cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former Word
> >
> > > > > > Perfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record
> >
> > these
> >
> > > > > > conversations)
> >
> > > > > >
> >
> > > > > > "Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
> >
> > > > > > "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> >
> > > > > > "What sort of trouble?"
> >
> > > > > > "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
> >
> > went
> >
> > > > > > away." "Went away?"
> >
> > > > > > "They disappeared."
> >
> > > > > > "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> >
> > > > > > "Nothing."
> >
> > > > > > "Nothing?"
> >
> > > > > > "It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."
> >
> > > > > > "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
> >
> > > > > > "How do I tell?"
> >
> > > > > > "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
> >
> > > > > > "What's a sea-prompt?"
> >
> > > > > > "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> >
> > > > > >
> >
> > > > > > "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
> >
> > >type."
> >
> > > > > > "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
> >
> > > > > > "What's a monitor?"
> >
> > > > > > "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does
> >
> > it
> >
> > > > > > have little light that tells you when it's on?"
> >
> > > > > > "I don't know."
> >
> > > > > > "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
> >
> > power
> >
> > > > > > cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
> >
> > > > > > "Yes, I think so."
> >
> > > > > > "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
> >
> > plugged
> >
> > >into
> >
> > > > > > the wall."
> >
> > > > > > "Yes, it is."
> >
> > > > > > "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
> >
> > were
> >
> > > > > > two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
> >
> > > > > > "No."
> >
> > > > > > "Well , there are. I need you to look back there again and find
> >
> > the
> >
> > > > > > other cable."
> >
> > > > > > "Okay, here it is."
> >
> > > > > > "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into he
> >
> > back
> >
> > > > > > of your computer."
> >
> > > > > > "I can't reach."
> >
> > > > > > "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
> >
> > > > > > "No."
> >
> > > > > > "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
> >
> > over?"
> >
> > > > > > "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because
> >
> > it's
> >
> > > > > > dark." "Dark?"
> >
> > > > > > "The office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
> >
> >
> >
> > >from
> >
> > > > > > the window."
> >
> > > > > > "Well, turn on the office light then."
> >
> > > > > > "I can't."
> >
> > > > > > "No? Why not?"
> >
> > > > > > "Because there's a power failure."
> >
> > > > > > "A power....... a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it
> >
> > licked
> >
> > > > > > now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff
> >
> > your
> >
> > > > > > computer came in?"
> >
> > > > > > "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> >
> > > > > > "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
> >
> > like
> >
> > > > > > it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
> >
> > bought it
> >
> > > > > > from." "Really? Is it that bad?"
> >
> > > > > > "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> >
> > > > > > "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
> >
> > > > > > "Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."
> >

4 Comments:

  • At 6/30/2005 10:12:00 PM, Blogger The Zombieslayer said…

    That's awesome! If I don't have anything for spoken word monday, I'm using that piece. I usually write something funny but I'm going to be gone this weekend on vacation in the San Francisco area, so I doubt I'll be able to write anything.

    Thanks for the post. You got both me and the Mrs. a good laugh. :)

     
  • At 7/01/2005 12:06:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Good ZS, I love to make folks laugh/happy! Go for it!!!

    MAN I'd love to see San Fran.....Bridg

     
  • At 7/01/2005 06:29:00 PM, Blogger tshsmom said…

    My husband is the computer genius in our family,(I just point and click), but even I'm more computer literate than that!

     
  • At 7/01/2005 07:10:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    I'm no computer genius either, but surely....could anyone be that out of it????

    Bridg

     

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