Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Yippie Kay Yea

And fellow Bruce Willis fans know the rest of that expression....
Hi world, hope your day was good?
Me, I found out that I have to go back to The Place Where Hope and Brains Die (my office) starting Tuesday. Because that bums me out beyond words, here are some clever ones that a friend sent to me today to entertain you:

Murphy's Real Laws
1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
11. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.
12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower."
13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.
20. Just remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population.
25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first. 27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.
28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
29. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Vote for your fave!

Bridg

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