Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Punky's Dilemna

Hola World, hope I haven't used this title before. The lyrics are the neatest funkiest stuff:

wish I was a Kellogg's corn flake
floatin' in my bowl, taking movies
relaxing a while
living in style
'casionally talking to a raisin who plays L.A.
Casually glancin' at his toupee

wish I was an English muffin
'bout to make the most out of a toaster
I'd ease myself down
comin' up brown
I'd prefer boysenberry more than any ordinary jam
I'm a 'Citizens For Boysenberry Jam' fan

ahhhhhhhh south california
If I become a first lieutenient
would you put my photo on your piano?
"To Mary Jane, Best wishes Martin"
Old Roger, draft doger, heading down the basement door
everybody knows what he's tippy-toe-ing down there for

Simon and Garfunkle! Gotta love them.

Hope your day was super fantastic, world? Mine rapidly, as you would predict, deteriorated. Tried to patch up what I thought was a small mess. Didn't work, TLT is going to get dragged into it, which means I've just loaded a gun, pointed it at my head, and handed it to TLT. While I was unsuccessfully trying to avoid this, was visiting people we used to sit near at work and who are pals.

Broke into tears and couldn't stop. The guys were very comforting--two are personal pals of long standing and they walked me back to my office. Had decided by then that there was no way I could make any meeting with TLT, needed to tell him that I was going home sick since M is home sick. AT first he wasn't in, so the admin assistant asked if I was OK. Nope, waterworks started up again. Finally TLT showed up.

He took me into his office, shut the door and shrugged his shoulders and said "well????". I said that I couldn't work today (by then it was 1:00 or something). I guessed it was all the stuff going on plus the M thing. TLT says 'Well, M was on a one year assignment and it's over." and shrugged again. Then he asks, are you overwhelmed? I said yes. He complained about lack of productivity under M (but M couldn't do work--he was swamped with administrivia. I didn't argue). There is a 'mandatory' meeting to discuss this on Monday but I can't face going in even tomorrow....just can't stop crying. He told me to take the afternoon off, and I did.

Have a dr. app't tomorrow at noon. Will beg for at least a month off, if not two. I don't want to go in until I have a different/new place to work. Called M at home and he agreed. Said that the 'event where TLT will be dragged in' will be used as an excuse to go for my throat. I agree. We both can explain what happened and we know how to fix it (this is a symptom of a larger problem in our shop and another one). M's appraisal is full of half truths from the sounds of it.

TLT appears not to have managed staff before--he is not allowed to do the things he is doing. I found the policies involved...they definitely say that this isn't on (e.g. ambushing someone in a performance appraisal). The bottom line is that TLT is not getting his annual raise because of poor performance and he is trying to blame it on us (M and me. He can't blame the rest of the group, they weren't even there). Unfortunately for TLT, it is largely his fault. He's a seagull manager (craps on everything, everyone, and flys away).

We also think that our e mails are being monitored, not that anything bad got said (well, 1-2 jokes). Asked my buds to use my home e mail. Got so much in the way of loving replies it was and is amazing. Thank you especially Jery, K, Monique, Rita..love you all (and of course prime among them: Pauly, S, Issy).

This is kinda sick. Hope the new places pan out. If not, I have a few other irons in the fire. Would like them to work out, not stick me/M in the ass , tho!

When I was into my third jag of crying I was in Pauly's office. S, bless his sweet heart, came in to talk too and then another colleague, the one with the detached retina, came in! He rarely chats but felt that something bad was going on (and here is Bridg, bawling her eyes out). They, esp. S and Pauly, pulled me out of it. S took over a task for me (God bless you honey). He and Pauly understand crises, that's for sure.

Talked to M at home. I was getting into a state of panic. He talked me out of it and focussed me on solutions and wins. It is amazing how good we are as a team. I don't mean that in any sense but work/intellectual...but when we get or heads together, really good stuff happens. Same with Pauly and S I think. These people are such high quality that it is unreal.

Also talked to long time pal T on the way home. Said I couldn't understand how I could survive other bozo bosses (you know, robo cop's cousin?) for seven years and then THIS guy gets to me. T pointed it that it isn't the most recent bozoboss, it's the seven years of them.

Man I'd love to be somewhere where people actually want you to work and help you do it. How do the rest of you feel? Is this a normal working condition? Is it unreasonable?

Hmmm. I don't think so.

Hope the rumors about TLT retiring are even semi true.

I sure am sick of writing about him and I"m sure you're sick about reading it.

Hey maybe they'll put me on good meds and I can write about THAT (just kidding folks). Will do job hunting, shrinking and gardening tomorrow. And after will go to a movie.

May your days be merry and bright and NOT spent working with TLT!

hugs, Bridg


  • At 5/06/2005 12:04:00 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    Hi Bridg --
    Looks like I missed everything this past week! Sorry to hear about the work shakeup, but am glad to know you are receiving so much support/assistance from friends and colleagues. I can only imagine how it rips ya up to see something you put so much into being dissolved in front of your eyes. Your job is very special to you, and I won't BS you and say, "Don't worry, you'll find something else just like it". But I hope you'll find something to do that is healthy and satisfying, because the toxic atmosphere you've been decscribing lately isn't doing you any favors. Hang in there, keep us posted and please know I'm wishing for good things to come your way! :)
    -- Chris

  • At 5/06/2005 02:11:00 PM, Blogger Steph said…

    I don't know anything about your work stuation, but it seems like one thing is universal - in times of stress, when you're barely hanging on, it only takes one person being kind to you to make you totally lose it! I do the same thing. Maybe because with them we feel safe. Whatever the reason, you're lucky that in such a tumultuous situation, you have some rays of light.

  • At 5/06/2005 07:04:00 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    Hi guys and you are both so right. Chris, I sure hope that when I find something else, that it is NOTHING like this lol. You're right it is toxic. I'm kinda tired of taking meds to get through the day/night under these circumstances. It must be bad--my dr. today, besides giving me a month off, wrote a prescription for sleeping pills to take with the OTHER sleeping pills she gave me. Without asking (i.e. I guess I look bad).

    Steve, you are so right too. When you're facing pure shit, it doesn't take much kindness to be touched. Glad I'm not a nutbar (i.e. you both know what I"m talking about)....Bridg


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