Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

If You Want To Be Happy For The Rest Of Your Life...

More weird stuff from my e mail...I don't get #2 at all....Bridg

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?---------------------------------------
1 Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!
6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.
9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.
16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to searchfor water.
18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and aGentleman" and "Tootsie." 20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture ofwhite paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash.
23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.
25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.
26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

They are all true.... Now go back and think about #16

Monday, May 30, 2005

Yippie Kay Yea

And fellow Bruce Willis fans know the rest of that expression....
Hi world, hope your day was good?
Me, I found out that I have to go back to The Place Where Hope and Brains Die (my office) starting Tuesday. Because that bums me out beyond words, here are some clever ones that a friend sent to me today to entertain you:

Murphy's Real Laws
1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
11. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.
12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower."
13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.
20. Just remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population.
25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first. 27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.
28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
29. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Vote for your fave!

Bridg

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Unbelievable

Gooooood evening world! How are ya tonight? Any news?

This was one gorgeous day, complete with thunderstorm, tropics-like downpour, followed by crisp clear sky and sun.

Didn't even get dressed till 1:00 or so....

Despite the late start, got half of the weekend type stuff done. A little more than a week to go, hey I see the doctor on the 30th as a precheck, so maybe it'll be longer. There are ups and downs to going back later too. Can't make my mind up, do know that the last thing I want to see is that empty office. M said that he doesn't see how I could manage to walk back in there. I think I could as long as S and Pauly are there, and they are. Have been sick all day thinking about it though, literally, including right now.

There's something twisted about a system that allows, hell it promotes, this kind of junk. Could not even do early retirement for another 2 years. Well, maybe. You never know. I come from damn tough stock.

Anywaaaaaaay, it is a treat leaving windows open at this time of year. The aromas are unreal (in a good way), all the rain has made EVERYTHING just zoom on up out of the ground. Forgot that I had someone coming here today to give me an estimate on the roofing (remember the condo command?). They were supposed to be here between 6:00 and 6:30. He showed up at 6:15 on the dot. Must be at least my Mom's age (76), dressed neat as a pin. Looked at the front, back, and then climbed on the roof and took at least 5, 10 minutes to inspect. Came down and gave me the cheapest of the three estimates. And he was the ONLY one to go on the roof. He asked how his estimate compared to the others, and I was delighted to give him the results. I think I'll go with him. Mom's checking him out with the Better Biz Bureau. He even handed out a fact sheet that advised getting 2-3 quotes and doing a BBB check. That was indeed a treat--seeing a real pro in action. Impressive. He owns the company, has only one work team, and he comes on site with them. They even have a dress and behaviour code. Kewl.

Not that I"m a control freak, I"m the opposite. But it's great to see someone who truly takes care of the work they do.

On top of that NCIS was on tonight. Twice a week--another delightful thing today. OK if things happen in threes, I'm due one more. Keep your fingers crossed for me folks......job or romance, I'm not picky, would take either one.

Took M's cell and office number off of my phone since both are no longer his numbers (it was a work cell). That sucked big time. Wish I could flash forward to see what's going to happen. The suspense is killing me.

The Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe sure has it good. Laid in the sun all afternoon, facing the garden, drinking in the sun, aromas and birdsong. If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I want to come back as her. Mom did her stuff on her own, which is a good thing. Tomorrow's my turn to 'cook', so that means I get to pay/pick the restaurant for dinner.

Nothing much more to add about today. The odds and sodds I did around the house would just bore yall to tears. But they are things I find comforting, and they keep me from dwelling on unpleasant stuff that I can't control.

Any advice, world? It feels a little lonely here today. I'm sure it'll pass.

Hugs, Bridg

Friday, May 27, 2005

Whenever I Call You Friend//A New Day Has Come

Hola world, how goes it?

It's raining like Vancouver here, but it ain't Vancouver! I smile whenever I hear the songs listed above. It reminds me not only of M but the whole gang at work (the good part--98% of them). That's M, S, Pauly, Issy, Marc, and Doris. Jery's song, well there are so many of them, but the big one is Sometimes You Can't Do It Alone and Isn't That What Friends Are For. OK while I'm at it, Pauly is "Adrian" because I always wanted to do a duet with him on that one , "Money for Nothin" because he is so cool and also 'Right Here, Right Now" because he stands up for what and who he believes in AND he told me the name/performer of the song. There are approx. one billion songs that M reminds me of, we don't need to go there, but "Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood", which started out as MY song, now reminds me of him (mostly the boot stomping part). Doris (definitely a Lenny Kravitz one), Issy (I'm guessing Celine Dion/R. Voisin but not sure) and S I am still working on. Am close to one on S. Marc, well he's "Waiting On the Dock of the Bay" and "Walkin in Memphis"--a diff kind of cool.

You realize that I"m probably totally wrong on all these? Well, it's a Bridge's brain thing.

Went into work today for a meeting with M. He gave me a good appraisal, we met with a contractor (I had the whole story to give her on something, then M, I, S and Pauly went out for lunch. MAN it was so GREAT. I LOVE THESE GUYS with my entire heart and soul, I really really do. Did NOT want to be in the office but desperately want to be with the guys. Had a lot of laughs--I proposed to come back with a pillow under my clothes (to drive Mr. B nuts) and suggested that the guys do the same thing. We could all get preggers at the same time. Heh heh heh. I still got it (*wink*)! Got a lovely big hug from my darling pal Pauly and a kiss from S. They are just perfect. Hard working, funny, smart and damn cute. And all like the same type of music--how is THAT for cool?

So went back home--it was 2:30 ish, raining like all get out, cold and slippery. I had errands to do but decided to stay home. Mom had another one of her emergencies (left all her meds somewhere) but my darling nephew C, the one who looks like S, went and got them. Napped till 7:00 or so. It was particularly sad because it was M's last day. I can't believe that, I just can't accept or believe it. He said that he didn't know how I'd be able to do it (go back without him) and suggested extending my leave. I didn't know what to do, was just so sad. Until the smart-assery started at lunch, that is.

So there isn't much to report on except very mixed feelings about going back. That's a little more than a week away. I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday to see if I"m ready. Sure don't feel that way, lemme tell ya. Sorry if this is boring. What if my old boss offers me a job before M does? THEN what? Leave the old boss, who rescued me, in the lurch? I couldn't do that! Hold off for M? That's a real gamble. Easiest/Best/Most Stressful thing would be to go back to work where I was. Ick Ew but the guys are there! Aw what do I know? Will let it sit a while.

Will do more basement stuff (moving clothes down there) this weekend, along with weekend stuff, maybe catch a movie or two. Heck might even see if S wants to do something social.

The Bee-Foot is much better but still needs bandaging and all that. Gross. Am covered in pretty scary looking bruises but they'll fade. Am still over the moon about how much space is in the basement. Cannot believe it. Wow.

Well folks, enjoy your weekend. Party hearty, nap, retire to the comfort of your loved ones.
Me, I'm going to bed!

Nighty night...Bridg

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Bee vs Bridg Lilac Site


Image hosted by Photobucket.comnot quite Lannigan vs. the ants...

Bloomin Fools!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Foaming Whelksbury

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Flight of the Bumblebee

Heh heh heh couldn't resist it! Hi world, hope your day was smooth sailing?

The wonderful, lovely, quick and quite cute junk guys came today and took allllllll the mess away. Forgot to take before pics (guess I was too scared!) but did take some afters. Now, you're gonna look at them and say 'what the heck, this is still a lot of junk'....well just imagine 1.5 truckloads MORE of it in falling-apart boxes. Yikes.

Am in 7th heaven over the stuff being gone. Also stuff from the garage, made by my ex in 1974, finally gone. Hadn't realized how much it stressed me out seeing that (it was a shelving unit that fell apart long ago) every day until it was gone. Lovely lovely lovely.

Also updated garden pics, minus bee input.

Miss Cat is a bit put off with me for shutting her up in (get this) her room for the afternoon, but is happy with her new summer home (the basement).

Now have to recuperate from Operation Junk. Have been working on it, breaking up boxes and stuff, for about a week. Am pretty sore but the beers with M should help a great deal, I think. Spoke with the dear lad a few times today while the junk guys were at work (couldn't just sit there, felt reeeeallly guilty). He is doing fine. Had to visit his new/current boss and it went about as well as he thought it would (not great but then fish don't fly, do they?). He's taking vacation for the next little while and about time too. I am sort of dreading going into work tomorrow, but maybe I'll luck out and not run into Mr. B (no relation to bumble).

After lunch, which M promised would be long, am intending to do absolutely nothing. Who am I kidding, after even 1.5 beers, I am not capable of doing anything anyway. M mentioned that Issy was asked to do something fairly unethical by Mr. B, and she handled it beautifully (i.e. didn't do it, didn't get killed in the process). That girl is all right. Will probably see her tomorrow too.

Man is my shrink going to be ticked at me for this one. Well, I kinda sorta have to go in. It's M's last day and he wants to give me his version of my appraisal.

For those of you who just said 'uh-oh' after reading that, you are right. Mr. B will probably go to great lengths to say nasty things about me in writing, given the chance. This is his chance. However, he isn't/wasn't my direct boss. So here goes.

Did I ever mention 'all guts, no brains' is my slogan?

Well, wish me well my dears.

Oh yah before I forget, saw Revenge of the Sith today. GOOD movie. It made all the connections it had to, great scenery and misc characters in it, well done. A truly worthwhile trip to the cinema that was.

OK off to relax and hopefully sleep. Best of everything to you, world. Take care, look out for siths and bees and Mr. Bs. Meetcha back here tomorrow night, unless I wind up in beer slumberland (not too likely).

Bridg

I Fought The Bee and The Bee Won

Not quite what the Bobby Fuller Four had in mind but it's what happened, world! Hope your day did not involve bees...

I opened the garden door to let the aroma of the lilacs and Daphne into the house--it's wonderful this time of year. I almost walked into the biggest damn bumble bee I've ever seen, and probably gave it a heart attack in my stampede to get away from it.

Didn't even notice that I"d cut my toe badly until I noticed all the blood on the floor. Big deep cut. Took 4 big bandaids and I don't know how many Kleenexes and paper towels to stop the bleeding. That was around 6:30 and it's still throbbing a bit (prob because the foot's down).

So far the scary room transition to basement is going pretty OK. Have used up 21 plastic storage bins and have about half that many's worth still to go and the junk guys are coming tomorrow after lunch. This is going to be f.u.n. (well at least getting rid of that crap). On the bright side, I found my degree, driving school grad certificate, high school diploma and other oldies but goodies. Come to think of it, I came pretty close to throwing that stuff out. Scary huh?

Also old dead c-------h buggies but so far they're all long dead. 3-4 to date. Not sure what I'll do about that but will wait till the junk's gone. Ick ick eeeeewwwwww

The number two man at our organization resigned today. Gave no reason, no warning, only said that he really liked working with us, etc. Hmmmmmmmm. I have a friend, the one out west that I interviewed, who also reports to this guy directly and HE didn't know until I told him. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. He was very good at his job, and a firm supporter of my field, me and M. S-H-I-T!!!

Wish I hadn't written about the buggies. Now I feel all icky.

Have to take more garden pics. The place is looking better now that there are more blooms. Hope the bees leave me alone tomorrow.

This has to be one of God's jokes. I'm scared to death of bees, so guess what my hobby, one of very few, is? Right. Planting bee magnets.

Mom's off to get a Doppler image of one of her carotid (neck) arteries tomorrow am. They think that there's a blockage in one. That is a BAD place to have blockage. Hope it is a little one....

Got the letter from the condo cops ordering me to get the roof redone. Pauly got his house done three years ago for $2K. So what was my first estimate (done today)? Yep a whopping $3800. YIKES. Called four more places for estimates. I live in a townhouse for pete's sake. The same guy estimates $3K for my mother's HOUSE. How does a townhouse cost more than a single house? You tell me.

Need to find someone rich/solvent to adopt me.....

Am having lunch with M on Friday. He has promised beer, and I intend to drink it. He knows damn well I can't drink more than 2 anyway (my feet swell so badly that I can't get my shoes on/off). Well it'll be lovely to see him again.

And I bought a boom box for the basement to make packing a little cheerier. Had to search to find one that'll play and record tapes as well as CDs. I found my 45s and tapes when repacking downstairs, and I have a nice set (up to a given era/year that is). So tomorrow there shall be tunes!

Now all I have to do is find another job, ramp the stress down and make sure that my foot doesn't fall off.

And how are you doing world?

Look out for the damn bees, they're everywhere!

Bridg

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

More Than A Woman

So sue me, I like the Bee Gees! And (some) disco!

Hola world, how goes it? We finally got the sun out here. It was a gorgeous day, which naturally I spent in the scary room ---which is turning into a basement--slowly but surely. So far have filled ten of those plastic storage boxes with stuff, mostly Christmas decorations and clothes. The skinny clothes look like doll's clothes, but I've kept the ones I want to get into again. Called the got junk guys. They are coming on Thursday afternoon, which gives me tomorrow to get finished down there.

Found another one of THOSE bugs, very dead and dried up. I think it came from an unopened $149 fake Christmas tree I bought several years ago. So I think that's the end of them. Bought another 9 plastic boxes a few minutes ago and hopefully that will take care of that in the basement. Sure is a lot roomier down there.

Had a call from M this am about work, and it made me physically ill, I kid you not. Not because of M, love his voice and he's just a super person and everything, it was the work part. Oh well no biggie and we're having lunch on Friday. He was very alarmed that I didn't have any paperwork on a new potential job 'till I reminded him that I don't go back next week, I go back on June 7. Am really looking forward to it too, yah, like a root canal.

Well, I will love being with the guys.

Mr. B, well that's another story.

Hope we (the gang) will be together again soon. It's too good a group to suffer like this.

In the process of cleaning up the basement, got the spare room straightened out (again too many clothes stuffed into every conceiveable nook and cranny---now plastic boxes). Miss Smoky is very happy with this turn of events. Also noticed that when I spend less time on the computer my feet don't get as swollen. My md thought that some of the valves in my legs are no longer working the way that they should, so everything south of my ankles swells like all get out if I sit too long with my feet on the floor.

Take it from me folks, once you hit 40 it's all down hill and I hit that sucker a long time ago!

Anyway, am really happy with the way that the house is shaping up. And oddly enough, I can't tell you what, if anything, I am thinking about when I'm cleaning up, but it isn't work or problems. Believe it or not, it is like resting my brain. If I was lying in the sun, I know I'd be thinking about it. Do lose track of time and today fogot to eat lunch.

Last night I dreamed that somehow I talked Mom into working for me, and called a meeting with a Minister and his staff. The minister (it was a specific one in the dream) ridiculed me for lack of knowledge and cool (jumping the gun) and was quite sarcastic. Yep a real dream that one was. Wonder how long it'd take to thoroughly get this crap out of my brain? It must be serving a purpose of some kind, probably defense.

Did any of you see the season finale of NCIS? What did you think of it? Holy crap I was totally absorbed by the entire episode. Could not believe the ending. Wow. Talk about out of left field.
And another strange thing happened--have totally lost my taste for pizza. How bizarre huh? My number one food obsession for 53 years has now turned to grease. Oh well. Must be all that healthy stuff I'm eating now.

Had an e mail from S this am. All about his weekend and stuff, asking after me. It was sweet and lovely of him. Jer sent me Don Quixote lyrics (odd since I mentioned that lyrics don't cut it) but hey at least he's reading the blog. S is too shy to do so, Pauly does sometimes. None of us will tell M what the URL is. Thank God!!

Bought a book (may have mentioned it a few posts ago) about controlling anger, anxiety etc. that I found on Amazon.com. I love the writers, they (Fanning and MacKay) are really good. Have been reading the text when I take breathers from the basement. Hopefuly it will help, although my shrink said (a) that I have had some pretty hard/difficult bosses and (b) anyone else put into my situation would have reacted the same way and (c) my anger, the times I've had it, is totally justified. That makes me feel better, but I'd like to control situations instead of having them control me. That's why I"m reading this stuff. Here's a link to the book at Amazon. com: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1572243449/ref=pd_rhf_p_1/002-3243246-1627269?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance

Was something else I had in mind to blog, but can't remember it. Oh well, must be old age creeping in there.

Have a wonderful night, you all. I'm off to snooze soon....Bridge

Monday, May 23, 2005

On The Radio

Let's hear it for Donna Summer, world! Ca va?
On the Radio
DONNA SUMMER
Someone found the letter you wrote me
On the radio
And they told the world just how you felt
It must have fallen out of a holeIn your brown overcoat
They never said your name
But I knew just who they meant
Oh, I was so surprised and shocked
And I wondered too
If by chance you you heard it for yourself
I never told a soul
Just how I've been feeling over you
But they said it really loud
They said it on the air

Chorus
On the radio,
ohhh, on the radio
Ohhhh, on the radio,
ohhh, on the radio
.
.
.
If you think that love isn't found
On the radio
Then tune right in
You may fin the love you lost'
Cause now I'm sittin' here
With the man I sent away long ago
It sounded really loud
He said it really loud

Chorus

It's raining here like it's never going to end. Not the driving kind of rain, the soft misty stuff. Almost like something out of a black and white 1950s Sherlock Holmes movie night shot. Not too shabby, if one must have rain.

Started worrying about TLT again (no link will be made to the 'bug' found in basement yesterday). Don't worry, took the meds to take the edge off but don't like having to do that. It's a fear response and I'd rather be on the love side (of the love-fear divide).

Today being a holiday here when very little is open, napped a lot. Woke up to find The Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe watching me from her perch by my feet. Kind of disconcerting at first. Did absolutely nothing today. Didn't read, didn't DARE go down in the scary room after yesterday's discovery. Since nothing was open, didn't bother shopping and was too sleepy to try cooking. Didn't even eat.

Oh oh. Sounds like depression, right only I"m on meds for that.

Well it might have been plain old tiredness, since the scary room stuff took up a lot of time and effort and isn't finished yet.

Yeah, that's it.

Will do movie (Star Wars) tomorrow, after calling 1-800-got-junk. Want that nonsense in the basement gone. Ick ick ick. Hate to be 'girly' but gross.

Not sure if it's been mentioned before, but I live in a 3 bedroom structure with totally packed closets. Tomorrow THOSE get cleaned.

Makes me tired thinking about it.

Need to get back to work for a rest, but since our appraisals are being done, that is the precise hour when WWIII will start.

Oh damn. May as well do the closets then.

Nice things about rain (a) it makes things cooler/easier to sleep)
(b) makes flowers and plants grow like mad
(c) gives you time to do stuff you would normally ignore as long
as possible (13 years in the case of the scary room)
(d) gives birdies something to eat (worms)

Have a lovely worm and bug free evening, world!

Hugs from Bridg, fraidy cat

Sunday, May 22, 2005

The Pony Man

Hi world--this is a GREAT song for kids:
G. Lightfoot
When it's midnight on the meadow
And the cats are in the shed
And the river tells a story
At the window by my bed
If you listen very closely
Be as quiet as you can
In the yard you'll hear him
It is the pony man

We're always there to greet him
When he tumbles into town
He leads a string of ponies
Some are white and some are brown
And they never seem to kick or bite
They only want to play
And they live on candy apples
Instead of oats and hay

And when we're all assembled
He gives a soft command
And we climb aboard our ponies
As in a row they stand
Then down the road we gallop
And across the fields we fly
And soon we all go sailing off
Into the midnight sky

And as we gaily rock along
Beside a ripplin' sea
There's Tom 'n Dick 'n Sally
And Mary Joe and me
And the pony man is leading
Cause he's traveled here before
And he gives a whoop and a holler
At Mr. Moon's front door

And then we form in single file
inside the moon we go
Into a land of magic
that the grownups do not know
Where the streets are paved with chocolate
and the trees are hung with toys
And there's chewing gum for every one
of the little girls and boys

And as we stop to rest a while
Where the soda river glides
Up to the slip comes a pirate ship
To take us for a ride
And the pony man's the captain
And the children are the crew
And we go in search of treasure
And laugh the whole night through

But then the clouds surround us
and the seas begin to boil
And the wind howls like a dragon
as upon the decks we toil
When 'longside floats a bottle
which soon on board is hove
With a map inside which leads us to
a giant treasure trove

And when the hold is filled with gold
And the sails begin to strain
And the deck's piled high with apple pie
We head for port again
And down the whirling starcase
So swift our ponies fly
And we're safely in our beds again
When the sunbeams kiss the sky

When it's midnight on the meadow
And the cats are in the shed
And the river tells a story
At the window by my bed
If you listen very closely
Be as quiet as you can
In the yard you'll hear him
It is the pony man

Well I would have LOVED the Pony Man's company today in the scary room aka basement. My back, upper and inner thighs are killing me--for all the wrong reasons (exercise by cleaning).
It is looking much better down there but there is so much junk to get rid of it isn't funny. Tomorrow is a holiday in Canada...which means no stores will be open in the province. Oh well, it's waited 12 years to get cleaned, it can stand waiting another day.

Buuuuuut during my 2-3 hour cleaning spree.....I found a big dead bug under a box that had not been opened (It's a box containing a new fake Chrismtas tree. Think I got it at Wal Mart. It's never been opened).

Not the good kind of bug to find in one's basement. It was 'fresh dead', not dehydrated or anything.

This is really stressing me out. I'm talking about the c-------h word. Ick ick ick. They were in an apartment I lived in and moved out of because of the damn bugs. Got the whole works fumigated--twice--to be sure after I moved to a rented townhouse. Sure don't want to go through that again.

How did it get in here? In a box? I have bought a fair bit of stuff lately. Well, that's how I"m consoling myself unless/until I see another one.

If/When that happens, you'll hear the scream all the way to the Pacific coast, I promise. Ick ick ewwww.

Even got plastic containers to keep the wrapping paper in. You can still smell the odor of the bug killer that the fumigator guys used, it was that strong, and that was 12 years ago.

MAN I need a new focus!

Well tomorrow's supposed to be rainy again, like today was (going to six degrees tonight folks. What am I wearing? Silk light blue pjs. I like cold). So if it is rainy, I"ll cook stuff and make soup. And in general stay out of the basement.

Did buy and installed one of those plastic shelving units. It has 5 shelves and is way taller than me. Managed to fill 3 of the 5 shelves with paint and pain-related stuff. Same situation as the Christmas stuff. Oh yah, found more Christmas stuff. And found out that the mice that Emmi attracted into her/my/house next door's basement got into the container that the 6 man tent is in. I'm not even gonna bother looking at it. I know what I"m gonna find. The junk guy can have it. At 53, I"m not keen on setting up that huge tent anyway. I love camping, it's just the stiffness after a night sleeping on air mattresses is no longer my idea of a good time.

Mom and I hit Swiss Chalet for dinner. Talked her into having a large draft beer...so who fell asleep at home after din-din? Yah right me. How embarrassing. This woman just can't hold her liquor but at least I'm quiet about it lol.

Hope you had a great weekend world, even if it was rainy locally. It sure is making the flowers bloom. Am getting ready to take more pics--sun or no sun. The remaining two weeks of leave feel like an incredible luxury and I haven't thought (much) more about work since I quit the e mail etc. It's a suprisingly good feeling (separation from Pauly, S, Issy, Marc aside).

Did say some prayers about it. St. Michael is my hero/go-to guy.

Well, night world. Think I"m gonna be crashing soon. Worn out from all the home-keeping stuff.

hugs, Bridg

Correction: Ten Things I've Never Done and a Screw-Up

I forgot that I actually HAD sung in public (choir). So here's that list again...also Ann, who I tagged, gave me a great idea:

I've never:
1-been blonde
2-had an engagement ring
3-had children (and yes it bugs me)
4-eaten liver or any organ meat
5-lied on my blog or anyone else's
6-known how to ice skate or ski
7-had writer's block (i.e. never at a loss for a smart ass comment)
8-not believed in angels (i.e. have always believed, talked to or seen them)
9-gotten a good report card as far as 'deportment' (behaviour) goes.
10-liked veggies unless they're on pizza

Now that's better!

Happy Sunday, world. Raven it's still raining here, so I'm sending you 'rain wishes' to cool things off!

Bridg

Saturday, May 21, 2005

10 Things I've Never Done

Hey been tagged by my fave blogger, Raven. OK, here we go, ten things I"ve never done (Raven I took some of yours because they fit me too):

1-been blonde
2-had an engagement ring
3-had children (and yes it bugs me)
4-eaten liver or any organ meat
5-sung in public
6-known how to ice skate
7-had writer's block (i.e. never at a loss for a smart ass comment)
8-not believed in angels (i.e. have always believed, talked to or seen them)
9-gotten a good report card as far as 'deportment' (behaviour) goes.
10-liked veggies unless they're on pizza

OK, now I tag: Annhttp://annangel.blogspot.com/
BlogKrishttp://notimeforlater.blogspot.com/
Undies http://undertheundies.blogspot.com/
annnnd Kitkathttp://penguinsrcool.blogspot.com/

Stuck On You

Buenos noches world! Hope your Saturday was delicious?

Rainy day (not in Georgia, however) here--many of my garden babies are blooming (the rhodos and azaleas). Took Mom shopping, and as usual we broke our respective banks. Did the nap thing after...and then started straigtening up the scary room.

Holy crap the things that pile up in 12 years. I filled a large Sears bag with unused bows, a box that a microwave came in with Christmas paper, and on it goes. Four garbage bags of trash and that does not include recycled boxes or the stuff I'm having junk people haul away.

Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe is quite peturbed--the basement/scary room is also her evening retreat. Whenever I don't feed/pet her enough, she retreats to the basement.

Feel very buggy and dusty ICK. Also found a disturbing amount of paint...and what the heck is it with me and Christmas decorations? There are enough down there to do the whole flipping neighborhood.

Knowing me, I forgot that I already bought decorations and got more.

Not this year!

Hell, I won't have to buy anything but presents (as if that isn't enough) until I'm 80, if I make it to that age. Wonder how bad it would have been had I had kids/been still married? YIKES.

Anyone want some junk? Worst of it is, I"m not finished yet.

Night all....Bridg the dusty

Friday, May 20, 2005

Take Me In Your Arms

No this isn't aimed at 123 I-Love-You. It's the 70s song by the Doobie Bros:

I know you're leavin'
Leavin' me behind
I'm seein' you darlin'
For the very last time

Show a little tenderness
Mama, before you go
Please let me feel
Your embrace once more

Take me in your arms
Rock me, rock me a little while
Oh, with you darlin'
Rock me, rock me a little while

We almost feel heartache sometime
Right now, right now
I'm feelin' mine
I tried my best to be strong
But I'm not able
I'm like a helpless child
Left in a cradle
Before you leave me mama
Leave me far behind
Please let me feel
Happy one more time

Take me in your arms
Rock me, rock me a little while
Oh, with you darlin'
Rock me, rock me a little while

I'm losin' you
And my happiness
My life is so dark
I must confess

I'll never, never see your smilin' face no more
I'll never, never hear your knock upon my door
Before you leave me
Leave me behind
Please let me feel
Happy one more time

Take me in your arms
Rock me, rock me a little while
Oh, with you darlin'
Rock me, rock me a little while
©1965, 1975 Jobete Music Company, Inc.

It's a GORGEOUS day here! Have been sleeping like a log, sorry for the neglect--it won't happen again. But did forget my dreams, which didn't involve murder. Got through a nice thick Jeffrey Archer book (his latest about twins separated at birth) today, AND got groceries done today. Mom went to her first day at the day hospital for geriactrics and came back on cloud 9. THANK YOU LORD!!!

M's interview, although not a done deal, went really well (again thank You Lord!!!) . Their first preference is for someone already permanently an executive (he was acting/new at it chez where I am/was) but I'm pretty familar with the scene in this town and there are three jobs currently open at that level and VERY few folks to fill them. He also mentioned that he could staff the whole group with pros at all levels (I'd be #1!!!) and they were very happy to hear that, since that's what they need. And I've worked in that field before too.

I can't wait, I can't wait, I cannnnnoooottttt waaaiiiitttt.

And do NOT want to go back within 10000 yards of wherever TLT is. I'll have to, at first, but given that man's prediliction for verbal assault (and hatred of me), I'll probably be back on sick leave within 24 hours. Just a guess. A @#$%@#^ educated one, tho. I can't believe that he'll stay in that job long. M thinks he'll be gone by September. I sure hope he's right, but it's pretty late in the day for corrections now.

I miss seeing and talking to my buddies already but so far am surprisingly OK. Well, this doctor is good. If she says I need to be totally away, then she's right. It was also great, fantastic, soul-nourishing to hear M happy and hopeful again too. And I"ve had allll kinds of joke e mails too. So I"m kind of alone but it's OK, not lonely.

Even got the LAUNDRY done (and dusting and polishing) yesterday. This is quite something, considering I'm on 'holiday/sick leave'. That's usually a Sunday/Saturday thing.

Want to put in a garden wall in the front, but it hurts my back just THINKING about that. Will get a book on it, maybe bricks, and first clean up the scary room (I keep saying that, but do I do it? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo) this weekend. Have to make minestrone too. Making soup is something I love doing. It's good for you, the body and soul. Wish I could give all of you guys my minestrone!

Will also take more pics to post, so that I don't forget how lol.....

Sending you all my love, hugs, best wishes and sincere thanks for your hopes, wishes and prayers. I know they're working!

Hugs, Bridg

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Don't Think Twice (It's Alright)

Hi world, gorgeous day, no?

Had to get up early to see my shrink today. Her verdict: I'm still dreaming so have to increase meds to make me sleep; and NO E MAIL (work e mail), because mentally I'm still at work. That is why I've had nightmares about being murdered.

She also said that I've had some very tough (read: maniacal) bosses and that (a) this is not my fault and (b) anyone else would have reacted at least the same way that I did (stress reactions) and that it is time for a rest. One of my closest buds used to work with me and is now Pres. and CEO of two companies. He said that I've had some of the worst bosses in this org. I think he's right.

My shrink's explanation helped more than I can express. Guess part of this, like victims of other kinds of abuse, is thinking that somehow it is the victim's fault for attracting the abuse. Thank God for this doctor, although two weeks without hearing from my buddies--just the THOUGHT of it is definitely NOT OK. But this lady knows what she's doing so I'll go along with it.

She did NOT say no blogging tho!

Am feeling lost but this'll clear up sooner or later, I guess. No word from M on how his interview went, I am now officially very worried. Tried to call but didn't get an answer. YIKES.

Visited with Emmi at her request (She Who Makes Birds Fall Silent), she gave me an herb to plant, which was very nice of her. I mean, plant in my garden, not hers lol. Nothing else new to report, i.e. I read and fell asleep (no nightmares this time) and did get to talk to Pauly on the way home from the dr's.

Maybe this is a trick to make me WANT to get back to work to see my pals?

Naaaah.

All the best world, I'm calling it an early night. Hoping to see the Star Wars movie soon....hugs, Bridg

p.s. Jer's given me some song lyrics to try out on you folks. That's to come, next edition!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Ya Gotta Have Friends

G'Day world! HOpe your day was great? Mine was, even with the clouds, rain etc. here.

Had all kinds of phone calls and e mails from cherished ones today. Jer called (and even said hi to Smokey--The Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe. I have a special place in my heart for folks who like my pets), heard about the job interview directly from the interviewers (so far so good), e mails from Pal of Pals Pauly, also Issy, S and SM. My day was complete enough with that, but there's even more!

Took Mom to drop off her pee (yes yuck. I meant to the lab), then we went shopping. To me shopping is a hobby, and something I excel at.

Do not ask about 'paying'.

Anyway, wound up getting, among other things, support hose (yes it turns out I sit at this computer too long!), a back massager (see previous comment), annnnnnd--chocolate!! Yep all kinds of it.

Have not eaten (much) of it. Did talk Mom into doing it too.

Think that there is something healing about chocolate, and about shopping. Shopping for chocolate is just sublime. Don't you (women) find that? We sure did today. That feeling is gonna last for days I am positive of it.

M's interview is tomorrow, so please pray/keep something crossed for him. Can't think of anything to add to that except that this is a fine, very talented and highly ethical person who deserves to have something great happen for him. I hope that this is it. Same applies to Pauly, Jer, Marc, S and Issy, BTW, but M is the one with the interview on Thursday.

Bought an excellent book on controlling (your own) thoughts and emotions and started reading it today. McKay is one of the authors, and he is fabulous at stuff like this. He and a guy named Fanning wrote a book called Self Esteem years ago. My doctor (shrink) was so impressed with my progress that she bought copies of the (Self Esteem) book. Ooops good thing I typed that, I have a shrink appointment tomorrow a.m.

And speaking of THAT, listen to this (well, only if you want to). I am having the wildest dreams and they're all scary. Last night's was that I was kidnapped by mobsters, and while out on some errand they sent me on, I was in a convenience store which was robbed. The owner was executed but I wasn't. Somehow I got a paper towel stuck in my throat and had a great deal of trouble breathing. This morphed in some way (do not ask me how, I have no idea) of my being in a market with a great looking gay neighbor guy (neither of my neighbors is male in real life). I lost my shoes and wound up walking around barefoot in the snow looking for the shoes...developed a deadly case of asthma and could not breathe. Then I woke up.

Isn't that odd???? Was so relieved (a) that it was a dream and (b) to find Smokey at the bottom of the bed.

Guess I need a book on controlling my dreams next, lol. Can't wait to tell my shrink about those dreams...

Am torn about work. Miss my colleagues/friends like crazy. Miss doing the work too. Do NOT miss TLT, who is no doubt sharpening piercing objects preparing for my return. Oh damn, oh well. Am trying very hard not to think about it.

Watched a Nightline show about miracles tonight. We all need one: M, me, the office I work in, my blog buddies...and I wish each and every one of you at least one in the near future.

Like the song goes: wishing, hoping and praying.....

Hugs world...Bridg

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Bridg Finally Learns to Publish Photos


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Even The Bad Days Are Good (for something!)

Hi world, hope ca va?

It's getting better here. Heard from Pauly (Best of da best) that I did a very good job on the interview..but since I was parachuted into the middle of an ongoing process that they have to finish up.

All together now....WHEW!!

Also got to talk not only to Pauly but S and M (heh heh heh just realized the combo), heard from Z and many of you wonderful guys out there too. Love you all and I mean it.

Beer with S and Z, perhaps others, on Friday yippee. M will have his interview this week..things are definitely looking up.

Finally got blood test (hormone levels including cortisol, the one that causes arterial plaque and is a stress hormone) done today but not without some rather funny effort. Had to get to the lab before 8:00. Apparently cortisol has an alarm clock. Anyway, woke up at 7:30, got dressed--didn't even wash face and headed for the garage.

Which decided after 12 years, that it would not open. Changed the battery in the opener. No dice. There is only one way into this sucker--the big door.

Went back inside, called the garage door fixers. Said they'd be here by noon, so I gave up on getting blood test done, but decided after the phone call to make one more effort to open the door.

And of course it worked.

Hmmm. Got to lab, along with 35 others. Took 45 minutes but got the test done. Since it was WELL before noon, decided to shower. Got naked, put hand on water faucet, and doorbell rings.

Yep they were 2 hours early.

But fixed the door, gave me new control thingies for the car, AND fixed the door so that a key can also open it (they didn't do that the last time).

THEN I washed up. Spent a bit of time doing e mails, taking pics of garden, fell asleep.

Dreamed, and I am not kidding, that the Jehova's Witnesses were on a mission to kill me and my son (oh yah I had my own in this one) because I'd had an affair. I even knew the JW killers. Woke up very glad that it was a dream, it was wicked.

Am now afraid (a) of the shower (b) to sleep.

Just kidding, folks.

Thanks for being so patient through the dark times, love ya for those e mails and messages (mwah!!) ...and for your wisdom. It'll pay off, honest.

Here are some pics of where I've been spending my time...finally learned how to do it.

Thanks so much Blogger Kris...

And TY world. Love ya, Bridg

Monday, May 16, 2005

Can't Smile Without You

OK World, I have many faults, chief among them is that I like, yes like, Barry Manilow's singing. Not the guy himself, but I do like his music.

So sue me.

Today was fairly mixed up, so much in fact that I asked myself (a) if I was having a nightmare and really was at work, (b) how I got all this stuff done on weekends in 'normal time' and (c) what the heck kind of person I am.

As to (a) and (b), had to take Mom for testing. It isn't as simple as going to her house, getting her in the car and leaving. It is going to her house, settling whatever nonsense she has going (and today there was TONS of it), urging her to GET GOING (not easy let me tell you), THEN getting her into the car, etc.

Patience is a virtue I don't have. I am growing it, but man it's a slow growing thing.

Today's pre-boarding the car nonsense was whether or not the drugstore had given her the right prescriptions. Out of habit, I called MY drugstore, who had never heard of my mother, upon which I became quite indignant...and on it goes. Having that 'settled', finally got Mom into the car. Upon arriving at the lab (both of us needed testing), SHE couldn't pee and it turns out my bloodtest had to be done before 8:00 (by then it was 12:30). My doctor forgot to tell me that. Nice. Now we are looking at a round 2.

So we leave to go to the bank, which took about 20 minutes, because the bank machines only dispense $50 bills, which no store in our area accepts. Having dispensed with that hurdle, did manage to get food and another errand done,which actually went quite well. Then I had to go to a high tech equipment place to get them to either take back the expensive camera I bought there or enlighten me as to how it works. Naturally it worked fine in the store, and they managed to sell me more stuff (rechargeable batteries and the recharger). That was at least useful.

On to the drugstore, where it turns out that yes, they had given Mom the right medicine, right dose. After that my mind mercifully went blank.

Until I talked to M. His interview has been pushed back a day AGAIN. He is worried that TLT is badmouthing him all over town out of spite, which I would not put past the little turd. Except that means that both M and I are going to find it extremely difficult, i.e. impossible, to find somewhere else to work. OK that's the worst case but still enough to make me consider what the hell else I could do.

Retire? I'm going to try to figure that one out. Given my debt, etc. I doubt it but want to see just how bad of a financial pretzel I"ll have to turn into to manage it. Nothing is worth this silliness. I wonder how my friends do it? What is so weird about me that I can't?

Do any of you know what a 'long dark night of the soul' is? I know that Raven, S and Pauly do (hugs to my buddies, I love you all). Think I'm on the edge of one. Won't bore you with the details, it just feels very lonely and cold out here. You know, the kind of lonely and cold where no one gives a damn what happens to you and you deserve it..blah blah blah. Am trying to talk myself out of that. Actually I was wrong, it isn't cold, it's numb out here.

Anyway, back to other stuff, well, I'd like to go back to other stuff but can't think of anything else. I'm kinda preoccupied with the nonsense now. Guess this is what my doctor had in mind when she said relax (i.e. not to think about this stuff). Maybe she was right?

I don't know how S and Pauly went through the hell that they did, and turned out so great. All I want to do is be numb. In one way I am, but in the most important way, the soul way, I'm feeling this to the bone. Maybe this is why folks drink/drug/whatever. Now I get it. Not that I want to go there, there is enough to deal with at the moment without adding more.

This brings us to (c). Could there be a valid reason why TLT is behaving as he is? Did I bring this on myself? Issues are rarely one sided. This group that I am (sort of) working in has had one nutso boss after another. Yes the field attracts control freaks, but why so many first class, headline-worthy, screaming (literally) nut jobs heading up the same group? The only factor that stayed the same is me and the detached retina guy. It's gotta be easier working anywhere else--if that option even exists at this point for me. aarrgghh. Allegedly I"m good at what I do. I've been asked to teach it and did, have awards (5-7, I forget but there are a few)--M also.

What the hell is going on? It's hard to see something when you are right in the middle of it.

I had a really hellish year in 1990. My boyfriend of 10 years died (July), my dad died (Nov), I had a major car accident in which my lemon of a new car was written off (January) I had a scuba accident that my (scuba diving) doctor said that no one'd survived before (May), and a bunch of other bad things happened too--all in the same 11 months.

Couldn't take--WON'T take--another year like that one. It's odd the number of people I've met who also have had a similar year.

Maybe I need time with my buds/out there and less time thinking. Just for now.

Night world....peace! Keep your fingers crossed for us, huh?

Bridg

I've Been Tagged (By Raven!!)

Thanks Raven, I really like this and needed something like this tonight!

Three names I go by (would not DARE put my real names down here):
1. Honey
2. SAM
3. Roo2

Three screen names that I have had:
1. Ottawangel
2. Tjn68
3. Rainbowaura7

Three things I like about myself:
1. Sense of humor
2. Guts (the 'brave' kind)
3. Writing ability

Three things I don't like about myself:
1. Bod (at the moment)
2. Lack of patience
3. Execrable taste in men

Three parts of my heritage:
1. Irish (98%)
2. French
3. German

Three things that scare me:
1. Bees or anything that sounds like a bee (e.g. hummingbirds)
2. Normally calm quiet people losing it
3. Abusive men/women

Three of my everyday essentials:
1. Coffee
2. My buds/family
3. My cat (pathetic I know but she's faithful, fun and damn cute)

Three things I am wearing right now:
1. baby blue pj top
2. baby blue pj bottom
3. a smile

Three of my fave bands or musical artists:
1. any R&B, esp Atlanta (Otis Redding, Freddie Jackson, Peabo Bryson, Sam Cooke, etc.)
2. Carlos Santana
3. Michael McDonald

Three of my fave songs:
1. Sweet Freedom
2. Samba Pa Ti
3. Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Three new things I want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Lose 70 pounds (well that is SORT of new)
2. A different job/different boss
3. Date with confidence

Three things I want in a relationship:
1. Humor
2. Honesty (yah I know about the Billy Joel song)
3. Trust

Two truths and a lie:
1. I've been in a television commercial
2. I been called 'fearless' and 'Hawkeye'
3. I respect authority figures

Three physical things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Eyes
2. Shoulders
3. Hands

Three things I can't do without:
1. Computer (this is a new addiction)
2. The Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe
3. Family/Friends

Three of my fave hobbies:
1. Gardening
2. Blogging
3. Photography

Three places I want to go on vacation:
1. Barbados (would need to rob a bank)
2. Egypt (would need to rob several banks)
3. California (never been)

Three things I just can't do:
1. Be patient with abusive authority figures
2. Do anything the least bit mathematical (guess what subject BOTH parents taught???)
3. Drive slow on highways

Three kids' names:
1. Alexandra
2. Nick
3. Arabella

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. Contribute something meaningful (no shit, I mean this oen)
2. Have sex with someone I adore and who loves me back
3. Own a big hairy dog

Three celeb crushes:
1. Johnny Depp
2. Orlando Bloom
3. (in former times) Patrick McGoohan

Now I have to tag three people...I tag Derikhttp://http://iamgettingfat.blogspot.com/, Stephhttp://http://www.blogger.com/profile/6756246 and undieshttp://http://undertheundies.blogspot.com/

Looking forward to some interesting reading.....Bridg

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Tequila Sunrise

It's another tequila sunrise,
stirrin slowly across the sky,
I said goodbye,
he was just a hired hand,
workin on the dreams he planned to try,
as days go by.

Every night when the sun goes down,
Just another lonely boy in town,
And she's out runnin round.

She wasn't just another woman,
And I couldn't keep from comin on,
It's been so long.

Oh and it's a hollow feelin,
When it comes down to dealin friends,
It never ends.

Take another shot of courage,
Wonder why the right words never come,
You just get numb.

It's another tequila sunrise,
This old world still looks the same,
Another frame.

Hola world, como usted?

Me, not so bad. Still mellowing, despite having spent most of the day with Mom. Went to see Monster In Law. J. Fonda in this one really got to me because she looks and acts exactly like an abusive ex-boss I had years ago. Scared the sh*t out of me. Wow. Amazing impact. Ate too much popcorn so we didn't go out to dinner. Talked a bit to Sis today..it's amazing. If either Sis or Bro had been told to take a month off (i.e. was cracking up) I would have called or been there in a heartbeat. When Sis moved out of her abusive ex-husband's place, I took a 5 hour excrutiatingly slow bus trip to 'rescue' her (help her move, he didn't know that this was coming. In the end, because he didn't leave the apartment that night, we had to have police stand guard while she moved her stuff out. I engaged the ex in conversation to keep him out of the way. He was carrying two knives at the time. Charming, no?). Anyway, long story short, I ferried Sis, her peeing rabbit and a huge hibiscus back home. 4-5 hours and since we started off at 2:00 am and were exhausted, it was a 2 day event.

So I don't hear from any family members until after a week's gone by. Actually only Sis. Still dunno what's in Bro's head. Just grousing here....

Well it is called ravings and rantings....

Anyway I'm too mellow to be all that p*ssed. Monster In Law isn't bad. It's very predictable but I think that JLo does fine. Jane F way overacts but the part calls for it. Her assistant (the black lady) is the best part of the show.

Am having camera issues. Have been trying to get pics to show you this garden I keep talking about and the blessed new camera is not working. Back it goes tomorrow. Won't mention what it cost, but enough so that this is not acceptable.

Never had this prob with the Sony.

OK OK....enough crabbing.

Off to watch CSI/Law & Order.

Have a great evening, world. Please keep your fingers crossed for M and me finding jobs/vanquishing TLT.

hugs and optimism, Bridg

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Right Here, Right Now

Yea Fatboy Slim! I know I've used this one before, but this is how I feel. Bring it on!

Hi world! Roaring atcha....how are ya?

It's raining softly here. The gardens love it, the birds are happy (brings worms and other bird-delicacies up to the surface). A great movie day if I ever saw one....

Mom's visit to the geriactric day hospital was GREAT but on the long side. Nevertheless, there are a BUNCH of folks there her age, with sparkles in their eyes (non drug induced) and plenty of the right kind of activities. The place is run by one of the major hospitals in town--the one I took her to when she had her heart attack.

And the doctor in charge is of geriactric vintage herself. A tweeds & jeans type, unbelievably perceptive and bright. Loved her on the spot.

She spotted two obvious probs right off the bat and I'm kicking myself for not having seen them myself: 1- Mom had a stroke as well as a heart attack. It shows in her walk and speech; and 2-Mom's on the wrong antidepressant, which is why her mood has deteriorated and why she's lost 45 pounds in a month or two. On top of that, her dose of blood pressure meds is too high, which is why she keeps falling over backwards after standing up.

All this on the first visit. And a very thorough exam too. MAN we are so relieved. Might have mentioned it before, NOT knowing is the killer, not bad news. At least in my book.

Mom had the best night's sleep she's ever had last night, probably because the pieces are falling into place. She was accepted into the day hospital program, starting next Friday and her meds changes took place immediately. I'm so relieved to find a doctor who knows one end of the gut from the other that it's ridiculous. At last!

Didn't do much after that visit, except go to lunch. The exam and lunch took from 10:30 until 2:00. And lunch was an hour. Was pretty worn out after that, so took a huge nap.

Today have the usual housekeeping things to do but at a more leisurely pace since for me there is only vacation/leave on Monday. Can't help but grin over that. After the hell I've been through, and will go back to in June, it's about time I got to unwind. Am hearing regularly from those buddies I love so dearly. These are special people, as you are too dear readers.

OK off to shop (my fave type of med!)!!! Catch ya later, and have the best weekend ever, world!

hugs, Bridg

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Sharp Dressed Man

Let's hear it for ZZ Top! Yea!!

Hi world! Hope your day was as restful as mine was.

Got dressed at 4:00 or later. Spent the whole day making distribution lists for jokes on my home accounts, which are not compatible with each other. That's right, I had to type in all of the blinking addys twice. And the list has over 60 names on it. But it was worth it! Finally got it done. And some of you guys are on it.

Also a small victory: I finally won the last game of Emperor's Challenge Mah Jongg--got the rank of Emperor. You have no idea how much it bothered me not being able to win that flipping game until today. I have played it for hours...I think it's almost impossible to win, but you let me know how YOU find it. Won with 18 seconds to spare out of 3 minutes. Man that is a relief.

Watered the garden, which is looking MUCH happier since I also put down fertilizer yesterday. My back is absolutely killing me, but am treating it...

Feels so good to take your time in the am, read the newspaper right away...I am in heaven. The Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe is not happy with me (too much computer time) but she'll get over it. Didn't call or hear from M, which was sad, but he planned on today being his last in the office and had some jobs to staff. That was very noble of him...just makes me shake my head that HE's going and TLT is staying. It's the opposite of what SHOULD be going on but ohhhhhh I have to watch the flippin blood pressure.

Am taking Mom to a geriatric hospital program for an interview tomorrow. This will be a first in terms of not taking work time off and I'm very glad about it. Come to think of it, this entire month is NOT vacation time but medical time. YIPPEE!!!

Even got some photos (I'm a shutter bug) and cooking done.

Does life get any better? OK OK don't all answer that at once. But right now it feels pretty good. Yah I know there's turbulence out there, but here in my little garden (which I hope to have pics of for you soon), all is serene, sunny, flower-filled, warmish and calm.

Hugs world, may all of your gardens be beautiful, Bridg

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Afternoon Delight

No not the kind we all love, world!

Do any of you have a Jacuzzi mat or Jacuzzi tub? I can't afford the tub so bought the mat. Wow. Sheer heaven. This thing turns your tub into a Jacuzzi, and has a remote control on it that lets you control the speed/size of bubbles. It even has a holder for the remote control so that you can stick the thing on the side of your tub and comes with six different types of aromatherapy beads. It is the closest thing to heaven I know. Also bought (a while ago--like a few years ago) a thing I call the California Machine. It's pyramid shaped, has soft light (you control the intensity) coming from the sides, plays your choice of six sounds and your choice of volume (I like the ocean, but there's a brook, thunderstorm, zen chant, you get the picture) and the top of the pyramid warms aromatherapy rings or beads.

Today I finally put down the 14 3 litre bags of mulch that the unhappy man in the familiar plaid shirt delivered last Sunday. Was big red mess after (it's cedar mulch) and it took HOURS (I'm guessing 4). Put down the J mat, lit candles, laid down some lavender beads and had a bubble jacuzzi. I am so mellow now it's disgusting. My back's still sore but I don't care anymore.

Yesterday I got groceries, including the biggest bag of pistacio nuts that you've ever seen, and a bunch of trashy mags. Read and ate all afternoon, and finally felt like I'm on vacation after a while. Yes IT/TLT is still on my mind, M is never off of it, but I did feel a whole lot better. Today was kind of an extension of that, even tho they asked me to do some work stuff (well, S did and he's a darling so I did it for him. It was a quickie anyway).

Maybe should make this J mat thing a feature of my month off. Did I drink wine in the tub? Alas, there the fantasy fades. Took a 2 liter bottle of diet ginger ale in. What's worse, I finished it there!

Talked to M today. He got some verbage from TLT that is as close to an apology as he is going to get (M actuall went into work to finish off work he committed to do to staff others. Is that noble or WHAT? MAN he's good). The semi-apology probably does not apply to me but do I care? Hell no. I'm with M, wherever he goes. Hopefully to the place I interviewed at on Monday. No word yet, and that scares me. Pauly says that no news is good news there (he used to work there. That's where I stole him from).

The yard, which is two gigantic flower beds, looks great now. It's supposed to rain tonight, so I put down some fertilizer too. This yard is going to look great if I can help it. Want to get a self supporting hammock, will do that tomorrow if it's raining.

Hope I can lose weight too but at the rate I'm eating pistacios, not likely lol. Did have some horrid nosebleeds which I have never had in my life. Before any of you say 'high blood pressure', I"m on extra strength meds for that. Could it be the salt in the nuts? Who knows/cares, I'm too mellow. Besides it stopped so..no biggie, just strange.

Am hearing from my blessed buddies every day so far, one of them almost every hour (Z, Pauly, S, Marc, Doris, Jery and M). I love them so much. You really find out who your friends are when something like this happens.

M brought in a bottle of wine to the cafeteria lady (A) who's been so nice to all but especially us. When I had my heart operation she said that she wouldn't sell me french fries anymore, and the cook (D) said that she wouldn't make them for me lol. Anyway they're solidly on side, and it sure was classy of M to bring them the wine.

What can I say? They're ALL the best.

OK off for more mellowing. Please keep your fingers crossed for us, or if you could, provide the name of a good witch doctor (just kidding on that last one!).

Night and hugs, world!

Bridg

Sunday, May 08, 2005

It's A Beautiful Day

Gotta love U2, right world?

It IS a beautiful day here! Warm, breezy, birds singing....just lovely.

Saw Kingdom of Heaven last night with Mom, Sis and Sis' life partner. Wow what a movie. I can see what the controversy was about--NO ONE comes out of this looking good, but from all I've read about religion in those days, it is accurate. Orlando Bloom does a marvelous job. Good movie, definitely. Unless you're pro-war or fervently religious, in which case I'd stay the heck away from it.

Didn't do much else yesterday except get hair done (getting ready for interview-s). Did some minor things for M that were work related (his last day as a boss is today although I'm not supposed to know it officially).

So today am doing the usual home-care things (changing linen, laundry, dusting, etc.) and reading up for my 9:00 interview tomorrow. Am excited and looking forward to doing something different, TLT willing. If not, also plan to make more contacts re moving on.

Am just realizing that this will take more than a month to pull off. Oh well, I will get rest. Have been sleeping super well the last few days, and that's made a world of difference in the physical impacts of stress (melting away like snow) and how I see things generally.

Don't worry, I'm still me! (Hope that's a good thing, lol).

Am taking Mom to dinner tonight, not that this is anything different from the usual routine. But also got her a gift certificate at her fave store, and Sis has dragged her there shopping this aft, certificates in hand. She (Mom) just called. Is firmly convinced that I'm doing the right thing, bless her heart.

Can't wait for the latest Star Wars movie. May 19 seems like forever. OK will garden etc. in the meantime....

Well, off to get dressed and read my little (? Little? Big fat white) butt off!

All the best, world! Hugs and best wishes for all, Bridg

Friday, May 06, 2005

Sweet Freedom

Since I love this song, am pretty sure I've already used it but what the heck.

Hi World! Happy Friday!

Today my doctor gave me a MONTH off sick leave. YIPPEE!!! No more of that troll for a glorious four weeks. Hopefully I'll have a foot out the door by then. Went in today and turned in my leave form (the troll was out) and cleaned out the rest of my office/gave away stuff and then went to dinner with S, who (as I said before) is gentle, very smart/witty, fun to be with and gorgeous. Not because of the looks, but he is one of my fave guy-folks, along with Pauly, Marc, Michel, Jery.

Does life get better? Well, it sure is looking this way.

I have a job interview on Monday at 9:00 and the people there are good. I do have to read up a bit but no big deal I hope. Mr. B/TLT/troll will need to sign off on it. Let's hope his hatred for me outweighs his need to torture me in person. Michel is being 'sent back' three weeks early as of Monday (TLT/etc. sent him an e mail to that effect today) and has a job interview, of all things, Monday afternoon. Keep your fingers crossed, please folks?

So for the next little while I get to garden, go to movies, sleep (oh man if only I could!), and job hunt. It sounds great. Scary but less so than what's been going on.

Pauly says, and I agree, that things happen for a reason. Don't know where this is leading, but even the really crappy stuff usually (for me) had lead somewhere good.

The weekend is supposed to be glorious, weather-wise and it sure is now.

A sign of things to come?

All the best to ya, world. Hugs, songs, kisses and great joy!

Bridg

Punky's Dilemna

Hola World, hope I haven't used this title before. The lyrics are the neatest funkiest stuff:

wish I was a Kellogg's corn flake
floatin' in my bowl, taking movies
relaxing a while
living in style
'casionally talking to a raisin who plays L.A.
Casually glancin' at his toupee

wish I was an English muffin
'bout to make the most out of a toaster
I'd ease myself down
comin' up brown
I'd prefer boysenberry more than any ordinary jam
I'm a 'Citizens For Boysenberry Jam' fan

ahhhhhhhh south california
If I become a first lieutenient
would you put my photo on your piano?
"To Mary Jane, Best wishes Martin"
Old Roger, draft doger, heading down the basement door
everybody knows what he's tippy-toe-ing down there for

Simon and Garfunkle! Gotta love them.

Hope your day was super fantastic, world? Mine rapidly, as you would predict, deteriorated. Tried to patch up what I thought was a small mess. Didn't work, TLT is going to get dragged into it, which means I've just loaded a gun, pointed it at my head, and handed it to TLT. While I was unsuccessfully trying to avoid this, was visiting people we used to sit near at work and who are pals.

Broke into tears and couldn't stop. The guys were very comforting--two are personal pals of long standing and they walked me back to my office. Had decided by then that there was no way I could make any meeting with TLT, needed to tell him that I was going home sick since M is home sick. AT first he wasn't in, so the admin assistant asked if I was OK. Nope, waterworks started up again. Finally TLT showed up.

He took me into his office, shut the door and shrugged his shoulders and said "well????". I said that I couldn't work today (by then it was 1:00 or something). I guessed it was all the stuff going on plus the M thing. TLT says 'Well, M was on a one year assignment and it's over." and shrugged again. Then he asks, are you overwhelmed? I said yes. He complained about lack of productivity under M (but M couldn't do work--he was swamped with administrivia. I didn't argue). There is a 'mandatory' meeting to discuss this on Monday but I can't face going in even tomorrow....just can't stop crying. He told me to take the afternoon off, and I did.

Have a dr. app't tomorrow at noon. Will beg for at least a month off, if not two. I don't want to go in until I have a different/new place to work. Called M at home and he agreed. Said that the 'event where TLT will be dragged in' will be used as an excuse to go for my throat. I agree. We both can explain what happened and we know how to fix it (this is a symptom of a larger problem in our shop and another one). M's appraisal is full of half truths from the sounds of it.

TLT appears not to have managed staff before--he is not allowed to do the things he is doing. I found the policies involved...they definitely say that this isn't on (e.g. ambushing someone in a performance appraisal). The bottom line is that TLT is not getting his annual raise because of poor performance and he is trying to blame it on us (M and me. He can't blame the rest of the group, they weren't even there). Unfortunately for TLT, it is largely his fault. He's a seagull manager (craps on everything, everyone, and flys away).

We also think that our e mails are being monitored, not that anything bad got said (well, 1-2 jokes). Asked my buds to use my home e mail. Got so much in the way of loving replies it was and is amazing. Thank you especially Jery, K, Monique, Rita..love you all (and of course prime among them: Pauly, S, Issy).

This is kinda sick. Hope the new places pan out. If not, I have a few other irons in the fire. Would like them to work out, not stick me/M in the ass , tho!

When I was into my third jag of crying I was in Pauly's office. S, bless his sweet heart, came in to talk too and then another colleague, the one with the detached retina, came in! He rarely chats but felt that something bad was going on (and here is Bridg, bawling her eyes out). They, esp. S and Pauly, pulled me out of it. S took over a task for me (God bless you honey). He and Pauly understand crises, that's for sure.

Talked to M at home. I was getting into a state of panic. He talked me out of it and focussed me on solutions and wins. It is amazing how good we are as a team. I don't mean that in any sense but work/intellectual...but when we get or heads together, really good stuff happens. Same with Pauly and S I think. These people are such high quality that it is unreal.

Also talked to long time pal T on the way home. Said I couldn't understand how I could survive other bozo bosses (you know, robo cop's cousin?) for seven years and then THIS guy gets to me. T pointed it that it isn't the most recent bozoboss, it's the seven years of them.

Man I'd love to be somewhere where people actually want you to work and help you do it. How do the rest of you feel? Is this a normal working condition? Is it unreasonable?

Hmmm. I don't think so.

Hope the rumors about TLT retiring are even semi true.

I sure am sick of writing about him and I"m sure you're sick about reading it.

Hey maybe they'll put me on good meds and I can write about THAT (just kidding folks). Will do job hunting, shrinking and gardening tomorrow. And after will go to a movie.

May your days be merry and bright and NOT spent working with TLT!

hugs, Bridg

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Baba O'Reilly

Because I just turned off CSI somethingorother.

Just started thinking and wondering.

One year ago, I thought M was a yes man, and that he'd hurt friends of mine. Natch I didn't like him.

A year ago, I'd resigned myself to working for the world's biggest joke as a manager and a true clown (the one M replaced).

And here I am, about to leave a place I love (feels like it doesn't care about me right now, tho) --probably taking a pay cut to do it and doing it all with less than an hour's thought--going to one of two places that are both at the bottom of the heap in terms of reputation because of my friendship with and fervent respect for this same guy I thought was awful a year ago.
M, meanwhile, turns out to be just like me, a rabid protector of me (well OK not exactly rabid but I didn't want to say 'fervent' twice in two lines), an expert in our field and a genuinely good guy. A guy I thought I loved and perhaps do (just not that way).

Can't help but shake my head.

Maggie Thatcher had it right: It is a funny old world after all.
Bridg

(Just An) Illusion

Searching for a destiny that's mine
there's another place another time.
Touching many hearts along the way yeah
hoping that I'll never have to say
It's just an illusion
Follow your emotions anywhere
is it really magic in the air?
Never let your feelings get you down.
Open up your eyes and look around
It's just an illusion
Could it be
it's just an illusion
putting me
in all this confusion?
Could it be that it's just an illusion?
Could it be that it's just an illusion
putting me
in all this confusion?
Could it be a picture in my mind?
Never sure exactly what I'll find.
Only in my dreams I turn you on.
Here for just a moment then you're gone.
It's just an illusion - illusion - illusion.

Hey world, isn't this a great song? Well phooey I think so! Sexy rhythm and all that.

Today M told the gang (our little gang) about his leaving. Pauly gave him a thank you that brought the man to tears. It was so very hard to be there. He is probably not going to be in the office for the next two days, which will probably be absolute and utter hell for me and the rest of us. Me in particular since I'm usually the target of TLT's spleen.

Got a job offer today, thanks to Pauly. He talked to our old boss who now works in another place, and although we both have our faults, she offered an assignment. TLT probably won't let me go on it, but maybe it can be turned into something that he can't argue with. It could mean a $7K annual cut for me but it's worth it to get away from that place.

Will miss Pauly like hell, not to mention the other folks. I do already. Started mentally separating last week from the work..which is quite demanding. There is only one team that could pull this work off and it needs me and M. It would be so groundbreaking..but guess I should not go there. M will know more next week about other possibilities (not involving pay cuts).

I hate being in this position but am so fervently glad for having an option. The new/old boss is friends with a woman who is even more insane than TLT and who blames me for her losing her job (had TLT's job) but I have to trust someone, and the fire's just too hot where I am now. Got 'asked' to go to meetings with TLT today. Several of them. I have to go and I hate it.

This is killing me. Am not sleeping at all now. Have gone through two bottles of Advil, 4 boxes of Imodium and four prescriptions of Imovane (oh yes and two bottles of Maalox tablets) in the last four months.

Oh quit whining Bridg.

Thank you all for your moral support, couldn't last without it, let me tell you. I'm more grateful than words can say.

Have learned some things:
  • Some folks can be your friends even when you don't know them or don't know it;
  • No matter how much you like the organization you're in, no matter how much you love your job and colleagues-- if the boss is a jerk you are in deep do-do;
  • It's possible to go face-to-face with someone you neither respect nor like, take orders and be totally impassive and silent;
  • It's easy to trade income for peace (at least for me) even if you're over your ass in debt;
  • Seeing a friend hurt is physically harmful;
  • Pauly, S, Issy, Marc and M are friends to the end and I adore, love, respect and cherish them to the ends of the earth. Lester and Jery too. Not one word of exaggeration there either (and S you mean a hell of a lot too although we have not known each other as long--somethings just click);
  • My friends' (see above) voices are very very soothing, even if they just read the phone book to me, the sounds work magic;
  • I love my family and they love me (broke or not, hurt or not); and
  • I can pack an office (mine) in less than an hour if I'm really pissed.

Hope some of you got a giggle out of that last one. I did pack all the visible trappings of Bridg from my office today. There is a SH*TLOAD of stuff in the drawers, but I just wanted to get a flying start.

Can't believe the speed with which this stuff is happening. I could arrange for S to leave/find shelter, but I don't think that will be needed. The strange thing is that even tho it's only been a few days, I've become very attached to seeing him every day. He also has one of those voices, and the way that he thinks, analyses and reacts to things is just sublime. He's truly one of us (Pauly, me, Marc, M) as is Issy. The compatability and congeniality is amazing among us all. It's so harmonious, so peaceful and could have been (oh GOD those words pull on my heartstrings) so damn invigorating and good for all of us oh well (gotta stop thinking along these lines or I'LL start crying next). But sh*t it makes me ticked knowing how good this team is.

There's a rumor that TLT is gonna retire in less than a year. I hope to high heavens that this is true. That could mean a short exile. But you never know, we could all wind up in the same place somewhere else.

What I do know is that I absolutely love these folks and that will never change.

Hugs, world...Bridg

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Eye Of The Tiger

OH MAN it finally happened.

M is leaving. He and TLT/Mr. B had a big blowup towards the end of today, then M went home. The reason? M is 'arrogant' (read 'confident'). I could go on and on (and have here before, huh guys?) about what's behind all of this, but the upshot is that M's going back to where he came from. God knows what idiot they'll drag in here next but I am NOT sticking around for it. Will wait to talk to Pauly and S before making up my mind.

It's been a long time since I felt my heart actually break, and it happened this afternoon. And for no good reason other than that little idiot's ego.

We have a super group here. A collection of talent and personalities I've only seen in one place before this--truly rare. TLT ...well Chris said it all. Underqualified, insecure twit. This is so stupid and unnecessary.

M--like the rest of us--knows the field so damn well. Is a great people manager, a super negotiator. Was snowed under, deliberately, I think, with administrivia. Can you believe ONE man having 4 support staff with no line responsibilities, and his two managers with ZERO support?

What would YOU expect to happen?

Yah right an accident.

We've had nothing but bozos here for the last seven years. We finally get a good guy here and the reigning idiot has to drive him out due to his own insecurities and oversupply of testosterone.

This has the same air of unreality as:
  • Princess Diana's death
  • OJ's aquittal
  • The NDP being elected in Ontario
  • My wedding
  • Mr. Bean being elected Pope

Well that last one is the only thing I can really directly relate to this!

Guys/World, I wish I could be funny for you tonight, I wish I could be hopeful, shit while I'm at it I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford, but none of those things are gonna happen tonight.

Pray for us folks, it's going to be a bumpy ride. Thank you, Pauly for calming me down tonight and for being the rock-solid friend that you always are. You are absolutely the best and I only wish I could return even half the favor. We gotta pull this one out of the fire.

Bridg

Monday, May 02, 2005

I Only Want To Be With You

Hola World, let's hear it for the Raspberries!! Or was it those guys from Scotland (forget their name--the ones who did Saturday Night)?

Today was great and I hope yours was too! Started off rainy and cold, ended up sunny and warm-ish.

Didn't post last night--fell asleep. Finished my 2003 income tax (you get 3 years around here but they start sending you rude letters after 2 years) . Turns out that they owe me just enough to pay for the stupid re-shingling. Hope I didn't screw it up too badly. At first, I figured out that they owed me $9700, then realized that I added instead of subtracted something.

I never ever said that I was smart. Just remember that....

Also ordered a LOT of heavy mulch to be delivered yesterday. Was just about to give up and go to Mom's (for dinner on Sunday, we usually go out) when the doorbell rang. There stood a very PO'd looking guy in the exact same plaid shirt that I stole from my ex (was boyfriend then) and slept in for years. Well, OK I did wash it once in a while.

I live in the middle of a row of townhouses. He didn't look too enthusiastic about bringing 14 3 litre bags around the row. Sooo he made two trips with a wagon around the back. Problem is that he had to go through a park with mature trees--a lot of them--to get to the back gate of my place. I had just opened the back door to get to the gate when I hear "SON OF A BITCH!!!" really loud. The bags had spilled and begun to split and he was maybe 1/3 of the way to my place. Managing not to laugh, I offered to hold the bags on the wagon while he pulled. Poor guy. But he sure looked and was unhappy. Had planted 6 huge trees that day (him, not me). So by the time I got to Mom's was in the mood for a good dinner. We got one, and mine included 2 marguritas. YUM. Over-ate, and ate bad stuff, so by the time I got home I fell asleep. And didn't post.

Getting back to today...got a lot of stuff finished after some panic-y moments courtesy of TLT, who M calls "Mr. B". I like that name. Anyway, S started today, so had a perfectly marvelous time talking to him. He's nice, gentle, smart and gorgeous (and single, but hell the guy's been through a lot lately). Wow. Him AND M. I am in heaven.

M had a bad weekend, stewing over Mr. B and some info that didn't add up (budget stuff). At the end of today he was still trying to fix it by himself. I suggested that we check with each other (several lists involved). Long story short, something that had bugged him for about a month we settled in 15 minutes. Made ME feel better to see how much better he felt.

And the man wore his black suit today. Makes him look even less resistable than usual. Yum.

Clean it up, Bridg!

Sooo, got work done, helped M settle a major prob, S started working with us, and it's sunny AND got 2 years overdue income taxes done. Not too shabby for one day. Might even make soup tonight if energy persists.

Isn't it a grand world (once in a while?)!? G'night, world!

Bridg