Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Friday, April 08, 2005

I'm Free

As in Jon Secada but also the Tommy version.

Was in another province for almost a week. Hate to fly now. The seats are made for 12 year old boys with no hips and the seats are designed to make your neck curve in ways it wasn't built to do. I am officially now no longer flying but will take the train. NO KIDDING. My ankles were so swollen from the 5 hour flight that they must have been at least 10 inches around. No kidding they looked and felt deformed.

But a good thing or two was accomplished, I joined WW again today. Could not walk around the city I was in because of the bad condition of my feet. That totally sucks-that city is now fully into spring,with everything in bloom and the ocean within blocks of where I was staying. OK this is war. Not just on my weight, am also getting off some of the heart meds. Have HAD it!!!

Also decided that I am working at home until the ancient computer is gone and a barrier established so that I am not working in the corridor anymore. I work for a multimillion dollar agency folks. This is it! My boss M agreed to all this. Even told me to go home early today. So I did (can count on one hand how many times I've ever done that).

The visit itself was fine enough, with some fireworks that affected me big time but had zero to do with me. M hit on one of the consultants IN FRONT OF ME (there were only 3 of us there at the time). I like her too! And she flirted back. When the four of us went to dinner together I froze him out. He caught me looking at him when he was giving her the eye, then he kind of smiled and behaved after that. It was too late of course but at least I didn't give him the lecture he had coming. He wore the black leather jacket and sweater with just a bit of chest fur sticking out of it, damn him (i.e. he looked absolutely wonderful).

Why is it or how is it someone as irreverent, independent and allegedly intelligent as I am falls for a guy who looks and acts like that??? Usually the men I like are not traditionally good looking but are smart, savvy and sensitive. Man I could kick my butt to China and back. Honestly I never learn.

Can anyone out there help? Honest I am so exasperated with myself it's unbelievable. And this is a guy who said he loves me?

God help his wife!!

And me!!

Well, at least I'm home and on the way to recovery at least physically. No joke, buds, this is it. I have been anorexic twice before. Once lost 65 pounds between mid August and the end of November, the other time I lost 85 pounds in 6 weeks (when I got separated).

Wish I could do that this time. I"m on antidepressants so it's virtually impossible. But am giving it one hell of a try this time and not because of M, because I"m fed up with feeling this way.

It was fabulous seeing Ian again. We had a great group get together, and talking over issues like old times. I wish I could work with him again, in that enchanted city/place. But maybe it's just as well not. Times and I have changed, although he sure does not seem to have.

Glad to be home, even with the nagging of The Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe (she who must be obeyed).

Have a great weekend, folks!

p.s. Thank you all for your comments....keep reading and commenting please!


  • At 4/08/2005 11:37:00 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    I like the Tommy version better...long live rock!

    Glad you're back safe from your trip; air travel pisses me off too, and if the US had a decent railway system I'd use it. But we don't, so tough noogies for me.

    More power to ya with the whole weight loss thing; I am on the "seperation diet", and so far I've lost 215 pounds (at least, I think that's what he weighs...). But seriously...I usedta do dieting and aerobics for ages and only lose about 5-10 pounds, tops, if I was lucky. I was recently advised to add weight training, which I thought was the gayest idea ever. But it actually helped! I even do fewer aerobic workouts AND eat more food (although my food choices are more sensible now, no pizza & beer for breakfast). It's something to do with metabolism; muscle burns more calories than fat, or something. Whatever...but I do it 3 times a week and it is working; I'm down 30 so far with 10-15 to go! Don't know exactly your condition RE: heart, etc. but it's just a way that worked for me so i thought I'd mention it, cause I know how hard that shit is to deal with and anything that makes it easier is good to know about.

    I am not even gonna TRY to offer advice with the whole man issue; I don't get how it works either and I feel for you. There was a book once called "Smart Women, Stupid Choices"; I think I might be in it!
    Enjoy the weekend -- Chris

  • At 4/09/2005 10:35:00 AM, Blogger Bridget Jones said…

    I was an aerobics type too, that's how I got arthritis (in my big toe of all stupid things). They had to operate on it a few years ago. Totally agree re weight training, I feel like an idiot doing it so I bought some to use at home. Will give it a shot.

    The heart thing: all of a sudden one day I couldn't walk a block. Pain like you would not believe and my lungs wouldn't work. Turned out I had 3 blocked coronary arteries. They put a stent in one, left the other two (they were too blocked but didn't want to do bypass because of my age 51 at the time). But AFTER that came beta blockers (slow down heart, make you feel crappy), blood pressure meds, cholesterol meds, blood thinners..you name it. Some of this junk made my hair fall out so I found a pricey herbal thing that actually worked. Altogether, I take 23 pills a day. Ick ptooey. I'll keep an eye out for that book. I have one called Be Smart With Your Heart--hey maybe I should read it lol?

    Congrats on both counts of weight loss--both are real progress although how they happen sucks...as we both know!


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