Ravings and Rantings

Welcome to my cloud! It's got a nice silver lining somewhere.....Some ranting, some raving--mostly positive stuff,lots of jokes (I can't stay serious). Nothing going on here that a pina colada or mohito can't fix.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Rescue Me!

Not that I like being helpless, but Fontalla Bass was one heck of a singer!

Stayed up until 12:25 on that @#$% workplan. Then the work computer system kept crashing on me, and on top of that we are using a software that I can't stand so I gave up. Prob is that the Bailey's that I was um gulping has SUGAR in it. Guess who was awake till after 3 and up at 6? I'm surprised I'm awake now!

But here I am!

Honest this world is a truly funny place. I was always afraid from the age of 5 of being alone. Always assumed I"d be married with tons of kids and dogs but not in North America--more like France or Italy, or England. Why those places? Beats me. Just seemed like that's what would happen. So I sail (well, 'bumped' is more like it, I never studied) through getting a measley BSC assuming I"ll just get married take care of kids, doggies and home and to heck with the degree. So look where things went! Have a good career despite my idiotic younger day thoughts. Then the prevailing thought was: I'll be alone forever (after my divorce) and unloved. Like B. Jones the movie.

And here things are, chock full of love in every way possible. The romantic stuff I avoid (not too successfully, look at M) but everywhere you turn, it's (love in one form or another) there. The parking lot guy who stayed 3 hours late just to give my my car keys. My buddies taking me to lunch. The commissionnaire calling me Sunshine and giving me a hug every day. Clients dropping by to say hi and throw ideas around even though I am too swamped to even go to meetings with them. Computer guys fixing the idiotic things I do to the computers and keeping it a secret because they appreciate the jokes I send their way. Angela, the cafeteria lady, full of love for everyone. Diane the cook and Pat her helper...very loving in their own gruff ways. Pauly dropping by to check on how things are going daily--Jer PHONING for the same reason. Mikey and his avalanche of outrageous jokes. I just can't believe how great you all are. Words fail me but this has to be said: I LOVE YOU ALL! And it shows how much you love me and each other. MWAH!

Today M dropped by to see how things were going around 4. I'd been glued to the computer (well tried to be there were lots of interruptions) trying to finish the project from 12:25 last night. It basically meant finding out a LOT of detailed info on as many as 45-60 programs, rephrasing it so that I wasn't plagerazing, then dropping in study questions. Planning off the top of my head. This is work that really needed more time, most of tomorrow also, but I was scheduled to go to a brainless meeting (2.5 hours long too) at the same time in an area I don't work in but had promised to go to someone. So when M dropped by, I admitted being a bit stressed because of the meeting. He said "You cannot go" in a 'you've been ordered by me not to go' voice, bless him. We'll catch up with the meeting people on the phone later. Then he went and got us coffees, sat down and talked to me about everything and nothing (mostly funny stories) for an hour. I was sooo relaxed at the end of it. He checked to make sure I was OK, then left. How could anyone not just adore a guy like that?

The cafeteria girls are calling him 'darling' now. Boy they're bold.

Did I mention that yesterday poor Z mentioned in a meeting with the two of us (M, me) that she had a 'tickle in her throat' and us two filthy minded perverts roared? Oh yah. It took poor Z a while to get down into the sewer with us, which made it even funnier. I asked M if he knew the difference between like and love (old joke but he hadn't heard it). Hey it was related! So when poor Z left the meeting, M calls after her to get rid of the tickle in her throat. I muttered that if she doesn't she could call him (He cracked up, after smacking me in the shoulder first). It's that kind of place, it's that kind of relationship. I love it.

The relationship at least these days is smoother. Much more affectionate and somewhat deeper, although I can't really explain that. We've reached an understanding and acceptance of where the boundaries are. It's very intimate in a non physical way (but he does touch me a lot more. Prob feels it's safe now, heh heh heh. Just kidding, it is). He was doing that looking into my eyes thing again today. Was really scared poopless about what was probably showing and a few times I had to look away because it flashes in and out. I can feel that now. It's in his too, those are NOT impassive/uninterested eyes. The poor man!

It's a great, solid and very nurturing relationship. Wish I had the slightest clue exactly what it is, but at this point I don't mind not knowing. We're close, we're intimate (brain and spirit wise). That's very obvious and taken as a given. Lovely (especially after all the idiots we've had as managers here). He said yesterday it's a special bond.OH YAH (Bridg let's not go there lol).

Took S out to dinner for a late birthday celebration tonight. We went to the coolest burger specialty place WOW. Cool folks there, cool music (motown), just perfect. S looks like Keanu Reeves only more handsome and articulate. A real treat for the eyes and brain. I just like him so much. He and his fiance broke up after his brother died on Feb. 13. How rotten is that? It gets my motherly juices/instincts allll stirred up on his behalf. It was an amicable split (unusual huh?). This guy's got class and brains. I think that he and M will do just fine, and he has the same insane sense of humor as the rest of us. S is doing fine. Has lots of support, esp from me. For some reason I feel responsible for his comfort and honestly want to help. It doesn't hurt that he's gorgeous but I'd feel that way anyhow even if he looked like a gargoyle. He's just so calming and fun to talk to. He feels the same way about me too (said that tonight). S is gentle, very smart, human...just a great guy.

Now it might seem that I'm going on too much about looks. Well am just beginning to notice. I have about 4.000 pounds to lose before I even think about dating (kidding about the amount but not the process). Looks in general don't mean much--i was married to a John Ritter lookalike who was in love with himself. Won't make that mistake again! Hey not his fault either, he was raised that way. Just not a great mate for me and I was too stupid/young to realize it.

Oh man the lack of sleep is really catching up with me. Even for ME I'm not making sense. Will check in with you again tomorrow....or earlier if something wonderful happens like ....nah don't want to gynx it by saying it...

Wishing you all love out there...many many times over



Post a Comment

<< Home